Of Martian men and women from Venus.
This one's a purely जनहित में जारी (Issued in Public Interest) post marked by a special guest (re)appearance of LoveGuru, one that I suppose everybody can use for today I'm going to teach you something that everybody should know to make life a little simpler। A lot of people learn this the hard way, anyway, but people, to put in simple terms, men and women have different genetic hardwiring in their brains, and hence just like hundreds of other things, they also communicate differently.
Now everybody knows that women have a much larger intrinsic need to communicate that men, their brains have bigger lockers marked for communication and that women are weird. That said, what's true is they also interpret and process the same words and sentences differently than men. Men mean a lot of what they say literally, and are naturally inclined to process information like that. Their brain is hardwired to work in logical flows only (the correctness of which maybe debatable occasionally, but whatever). Women on the other hand go by feeling the words a lot lot more than meaning them. 99% of the times, you cannot interpret it literally, especially all the poetic blanket nevers, nothings, and always.
Half the arguments in this world happen because of communication gaps like that. The woman wants to be made to feel loved n special for some minutes, or something like that and doesn't get it, n says, you never love me, or you never have time for me, or you never take me out. The man counters with hundreds of examples that counter such an obviously baseless lie, and the moment is doomed. The man says I love you as a matter of fact, it doesnt sound to her as he meant it, n she thinks now he's trying to distance away from me/hiding something/doesn't want to talk to me. Catastrophe. The man says I'm busy now and fails to convince her of that. She is convinced he's ignoring her. Women!
There are endless examples, and a lot of these real avoidable by choosing different words and by investing an extra minute to make yourself explicit and convincing, because after that point women also trust with immense faith. Women can be a little helpful by remembering to believe what's being told sometimes as it is too, though again, not at the cost of their sixth sense.
Men react to most problems by trying to solve them, and often withdrawing within themselves to reach it. Women on the other hand manage to solve half their problems just be talking about it, so they sometimes need to be simply heard to for all their crap without necessary solving them. Give her the patience he needs and she can be equally rational, and faster than men mostly, after that. So if you want to help a women, let her talk, let her feel secure n heard, n then she'd solve it n be fine on her own. If you want to help a man, give him his space and time, don't interpret his actions within that period as withdrawal or lack of attention to you. Just because he needs to focus on himself for sometime does not mean he's stopped loving you. Give him the patience he needs n just let him know you're around.
Ok, enough funde for one lecture. I'd end with a really common one. For example, when men are asked what's wrong and they say nothing, 99% of the times they mean nothing, or something really trivial that they can and would rather handle on their own. On the cntrary, 99% of the times when women say nothing they don't mean it the least. If it were something trivial, she'd easily tell you in as much detail and assure you can take care of it. But nothing is serious, and 60% of the time they'd be willing to tell you what it is if you sincerely asked them 2 or 3 times again. But, because of these huge intrinsic differences men and women interpret each other differently. Women think the man's nothing is something serious, and asks him again and again, completely irritating him and often resulting in "Leave me alone" "You don't trust me" kinda situations. Similarly, men take the nothing literally and do not pursue the topic, and she gets hurt feeling uncared and unlistened blah blah.
How complicated, right. But just knowing and understanding this makes people more patient and avoids misunderstandings sometimes. So, S, here the lecture ends. Hope it was what yu asked for.
Ciao.
~LoveGuru
Now everybody knows that women have a much larger intrinsic need to communicate that men, their brains have bigger lockers marked for communication and that women are weird. That said, what's true is they also interpret and process the same words and sentences differently than men. Men mean a lot of what they say literally, and are naturally inclined to process information like that. Their brain is hardwired to work in logical flows only (the correctness of which maybe debatable occasionally, but whatever). Women on the other hand go by feeling the words a lot lot more than meaning them. 99% of the times, you cannot interpret it literally, especially all the poetic blanket nevers, nothings, and always.
Half the arguments in this world happen because of communication gaps like that. The woman wants to be made to feel loved n special for some minutes, or something like that and doesn't get it, n says, you never love me, or you never have time for me, or you never take me out. The man counters with hundreds of examples that counter such an obviously baseless lie, and the moment is doomed. The man says I love you as a matter of fact, it doesnt sound to her as he meant it, n she thinks now he's trying to distance away from me/hiding something/doesn't want to talk to me. Catastrophe. The man says I'm busy now and fails to convince her of that. She is convinced he's ignoring her. Women!
There are endless examples, and a lot of these real avoidable by choosing different words and by investing an extra minute to make yourself explicit and convincing, because after that point women also trust with immense faith. Women can be a little helpful by remembering to believe what's being told sometimes as it is too, though again, not at the cost of their sixth sense.
Men react to most problems by trying to solve them, and often withdrawing within themselves to reach it. Women on the other hand manage to solve half their problems just be talking about it, so they sometimes need to be simply heard to for all their crap without necessary solving them. Give her the patience he needs and she can be equally rational, and faster than men mostly, after that. So if you want to help a women, let her talk, let her feel secure n heard, n then she'd solve it n be fine on her own. If you want to help a man, give him his space and time, don't interpret his actions within that period as withdrawal or lack of attention to you. Just because he needs to focus on himself for sometime does not mean he's stopped loving you. Give him the patience he needs n just let him know you're around.
Ok, enough funde for one lecture. I'd end with a really common one. For example, when men are asked what's wrong and they say nothing, 99% of the times they mean nothing, or something really trivial that they can and would rather handle on their own. On the cntrary, 99% of the times when women say nothing they don't mean it the least. If it were something trivial, she'd easily tell you in as much detail and assure you can take care of it. But nothing is serious, and 60% of the time they'd be willing to tell you what it is if you sincerely asked them 2 or 3 times again. But, because of these huge intrinsic differences men and women interpret each other differently. Women think the man's nothing is something serious, and asks him again and again, completely irritating him and often resulting in "Leave me alone" "You don't trust me" kinda situations. Similarly, men take the nothing literally and do not pursue the topic, and she gets hurt feeling uncared and unlistened blah blah.
How complicated, right. But just knowing and understanding this makes people more patient and avoids misunderstandings sometimes. So, S, here the lecture ends. Hope it was what yu asked for.
Ciao.
~LoveGuru
Labels: gender wars, love, LoveGuru, people
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