So, what do you need to be happy? The last post gave me many perspectives, which can be merged to give the following. Although some people wanted me to give me my defnition, I still choose to stay shut. Anyway, you guys have said most of what there is.
To be happy, therefore, you need:
1. To love. Love yourself, and get some love and respect, although the external part may be uncontrollable. I think it's important to be loved because it makes us feel needed, and it's important to love because it comes in buldled with axioms number 3 and 4 below.
2. To not have any desires. Since that's not practical(or else we would be Lord Buddhas all) it comes down largely to not having too many expectations out of others, and very little from your own self too, because Vik pointed out that having too high expectations/standards to meet for yourself will always make you unhappy. Fair enough.
3. To make others happy. This one sounds pleasing at first, for all moral science is based on this paradigm of spreding joy and helping others and the idea of being nice to others for feeling good about yourself seems a reasonable mix of selfishness and selflessness, which Vibhav pointed out, is probably at the core of happiness. This transitiveness (courtesy Shantanu) also, though sadly, translates to a dependence on other people, the ones that matter, for our own happiness which itself is one of the biggest reasons for discontentment in this world. Sigh!
4. A cause/purpose and a hope. Essentially you need to have something to do in life, something to work for/look forward to, and you should be able to enjoy what you're doing, including the process. There lies the need and essence of all the "what's the meaning of my life" solioquys in the world!
5. Lastly and most importantly, freedom. Freedom to do what you want to do and who you want to be. the freedom to choose your own reasons and paths. The freedom to love, and the freedom to fail.
That is essentially how I would sum it up for what you need to be happy. One more thing should be included though, another interesting comment, which I took as this:
In order to be happy, what you need is to really really want to be happy. And then, not to try too hard for it. :)
Tell me your thoughts!
As for mine, thanks people. I got it. Being happy is impossible. :)
14 comments:
Let me make a bold claim here. Draw two circles, one inside the other. Name the inner one sadness, the outer one, happiness. Look at the picture, that's my claim. Sadness is a component, an ingredient of happiness. Now let me generalize this. Foolishness is an ingredient of intelligence, hatred a part of love, selfishness a part of selflessness, satisfaction a part of desires, losing a part of winning, despair an ingredient of hope...
So rather than as opposites, I am asking you to see one as part of the other. Every 'negative' thing is an ingredient of the 'positive' thing. So, being happy is impossible unless you agree that sadness is a part of it. It's like, happiness and sadness aren't like day and night, but like day and shadow. Believe me, it's not a trick I am pulling! So what is like not being happy? It's having torn apart sadness from happiness, which is what we do. When we fight against sadness, we are tearing away a piece from happiness, and so you see, that why all the confusion in the world!
So, happiness is reconciling everything, every quality, every thought, every emotion rather than having to make an either-or choice. Now you see we really aren't looking to be simpler, maybe super! And yes, women are hard to please, to the best of my knowledge.
"As for mine, thanks people. I got it. Being happy is impossible. :)"
And then you call yourself a 'kiddo'!
You made me search that courses-of-study pdf for CH5. But that confused me further! I mean, seven courses and still so much time to think beyond the IIT grind! Hey, can you do with 23 hours a day for next 10 days? I mean, can I borrow an hour a day, plz? :D
Don't take offense for the out-of-place comment; this is my day, after all :)
Seems that its pretty hard to be happy, eh! (I mean... satisfying all 5 axioms!!).....
For me it's pretty simple, though..... For me to be happy, all I need is that everyday I am reassured that I'm doing something good, and there are people out there who love me for that..... the day I dont find this.... is the time when I get unhappy!
I agree, being happy is impossible. But then, as the cliche goes, impossible says "I'm POSSIBLE". :P
(Vibhav's comment made me think and re-think, and I realised that all the things I am sad about today are indeed a part of a happiness I'll get in future. All I have to do is progress from the centre of those concentric circles, and walk past the boundary of the sad circle. And the first and the most important step would be to identify the radius of that sad, inner circle, and walk along that radius and plan my journey; lest I end up wandering through the sad circle forever.)
impossible, madam, is nothing...
the only catch is we love branding a lot...
you enumerated a few points but they just might not be the ones to make soemone happy...
sometimes its just about the perspective...
[vibhav]
Very interesting take on happiness...err...life itself, I guess. But the more I try to oversimplify things so I understand some of it, the more everyone wants to complicate it. Check out doc's post for instance. Okay, maybe it aint really all simple, and making it all wholesome means just behaving like supermen and women and lookat the cosmic truth behind everything. Okay boss, if thats what you say!
[:d]
Maybe I should abandon the nick now!
[vik]
I have more courses than you can figure out from that pdf. exchange means i am doing 3 fifth semester core courses and a lab plus two courses and colloq. Which means I'm upto here with work if you add the amount of extra curricular i need to do, too. Still, i've been worki ng on a few projects/term papers, and hence all the distraction, thinking etc. If I had an extra hour, I'd make up on sleep, wont I? But still, if thats what u wanted for ur bday, I wd have given it if i knew how to!
[rohan]
Oversimplification again, but IF you think about it, what you said for ur happiness does satisfy ponts 1 to 5 in a way. For you.
[tapasya]
Well, lets hope for hope.
[pricky]
Let me see, what else other than these five, on a simplification and objective basis do we need?
Yeah you are right, right on both counts...... but oversimplifications are required... coz I guess there is not objective criterion at all to characterize this feeling..... all that needs to be said about happiness needs to be told I guess in terms of gross oversimplifications!!.....
That's so sweet of you! Thank you!
Still, there must be some ways to get you spare some time for me. I'll find out ;) :D
one can not stay happy at all times....:) there will be days where u`ll be happy and vice versa....:) when u r happy stay happy..and when u r unhappy stay un happy...:)
Why do people have to grow up? Everyone grows up! Even Kiddo!! Sigh!!!
I am really sorry but I did not intend to say something that results in such a reaction.
Good summary of the discussion....
Shantanu
I don't know yaar. I can't remember how many times my life fulfilled all five axioms, yet I have been rather happy most of my life. In fact my life sounds easy and cushy and my past peaceful. It depends from person to person. Some people want freedom and security, others a bar of chocolate :)
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