A chill pill

So, Delhi is chilly in the air, isn't it. Sweet, soothing cold. Romantic, colorful winter. Warm soups and coffees while snuggling in the bed. I really love this season!

To top it all, I am really look forward to a month of chillaxing. Don't expect much work to come in the next few days and planning to take a couple of weeks off post that. There's a wedding in the family, and a family trip is being planned for the last week, but still have enough free time to sleep, relax and make sense of my now unrecognisably battered life. Really need vacation ideas and suggestions for plan - so please shoot. So far I have found Friends Of Books Library. It's convenient, it's easy and it keeps me company on long wintry nights.

Meanwhile, time to take a chill pill. Probably 2011 will be a better year.

Change-X

While the change is unquantified and unknown yet, this time it starts with loads of relief, some hope, some pain, and much determination at its base. 

This time, it is for me.

The phoenix is going to die and hopefully be reborn. Need strength. Pray for me.

Cute nothings

I found today in an oldddddd journal a very cute little entry which is simmering with confusion, anger and hurt of the 12 yr old variety over seat allocation in the classroom. I have been laughing like crazy ever since. For the life of me I can't remember the specifics other than the sketchy details in the journal, and I am marveling at how wonderful memory is - it automatically erases most of the ugly parts of day to day life, because all I really remember now of being 12 is the fun, the carefreeness of life and the little moments I cherished. Yes if I really think about it I remember the few people I used to dislike or fight with, and the struggle it *felt* like. But I do have to really think about it. More or less, it was the time when scoring 95+ was easy and also mattered :D Such a nerd I am. 

Writing journals is a useful, even if embarrassing habit. :-)

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On another note, yesterday we celebrated the first marriage anniversary of two very close friends. It is a scary thought - marriage + 1 yr also (are they old or am I? :-) ) but on the other hand it is no nice to see them happy. Here's wishing loads of happiness and good luck to all my other friends who have taken the plunge or are shortly going to in the next few months. 

And to everyone else, boys and girls you rock for not being insane! Please stay this way and not lose it :P :)

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We recently had a "women's get-together" kind of an event at office - with all the femalefolk present and discussions wandering from dieting, shopping, marriage and how it ruins your life, work-life balance, kids, dieting, shopping, hot men at BCG (yawn!), "embarrasing secrets", "fun facts", "hidden talents" and kiss/crush stories. And dieting. I missed part of the event towards the end, but apparently that is when one of the younger crowd i.e. another IIT associate went and asked one of the older women -" I am sorry but I just cant relate to any of the topics you are talking about (marriage, kids, work balance blah) is there something wrong with me? Am I not a woman?" 

Such a cutie!

Control the Controllables

Life is funny.

As always, problems magnify when they happen to us. They easily become full-blown Shakespearean tragedies, in fact, if we let them. Then you see someone else committing the same mistakes as you did, or suffering the same self-created trap you did, and something cringes inside. You rush to make it right, because it is -- just as it was back then -- largely futile. You want them to let go - it will become easier - and you remember your own reluctance in letting go. 

Life is funny, hind sight is funnier.

I think I keep realizing the same things over and over again every now and then in life. It is sad life wastes so much effort in re-educating me, and I spend so little in remembering my lessons. Once you see someone else in pain, in slow agony and you realize you care, your own pain just disappears somewhere. It is magical, it is potent. It is what we probably like to call being human. I love it. I should have probably become a doctor but I cant stand a hospital (consultants only afflict pain, not cure them, especially verbal and visual through jarring unending presentations).

So this is my new commandment to myself. Control the controllables. It is not new, it is hardly unique. But it is a good reminder to self. It makes the one most important thing easy in life: letting go. It is also incredibly important if you want to live with knowing that you are not good enough, no matter how badly you want something.

I love it.

:-)

Jeevan hai barf ki naiya :D

...Naiya pighle haule haule

Chahe has le, chahe ro le

Kya pata zindagi mein kitne pal hain, par har pal mein bahut zindagi hai

Or maybe not

...but it's still worth a shot,

with everything you've got.