You Promised... | Part 2

Continued from Part 1

The Homecoming

She stood, numbed, at the viewing deck. Planes made a racquet as they took off and landed but there was an eerie silence in her head ever since she had heard that voice on the phone. It had been almost sixteen hours since, but for Divya, time had hit a sudden, screeching break and rolled back several years to the day she had last heard that voice and to the day she was told she wouldn't hear it any more. Her world had collapsed. By the time she regained consciousness, she had stumbled into another existence that revolved entirely around her infant daughter and a newborn son. It was an existence she simply had no choice quitting out of, irrespective of how little she wanted to live, and thus all remnants of her past life were buried in some deep dark corners.

Until last evening.

Until that phone call. 

"It's me...your Arjun", he said. "I'm coming home..."

Home.

Divya's thoughts were disturbed as she felt a tug on her dupatta. Arjun, her seven year old son who had never met his father, was trying to get her attention.

"Mumma, mumma...are you crying?" Rohan asked, looking scared.

Divya's hands inadvertently went to her face. She wasn't crying. She hadn't shed a tear since last night. Maybe she didn't have any left. Not even tears of joy?

But she had grown quiet. Perhaps that was the reason why her son felt she was crying. She looked at Ria, her nine year old daughter, sitting on the chair at the back staring at her doll. She hadn't really explained a lot to her kids yet. How could she, when she hadn't explained it to herself yet? She had told them their Daddy was coming home, and they were going to go bring him back, but nothing else. They hadn't asked, either, perhaps sensing her silence. All of them had just come quietly this morning to the Air Force base, where they were told their father, Lt. Cdr. Arjun Khurana, was going to return home. 

Beyond that, none of them knew what to expect. 

Divya picked Rohan up in her arms, kissed him and walked back to take a seat next to her daughter so she could engulf both her children in her arms. They were incomplete, but they didn't have to be alone. And then her eyes saw him on the runway, walking down the plane that had just landed, looking exactly the way he did the last time she had seen him. 

"Who was that, Arjun?" Divya asked as Arjun returned to the bedroom after attending a long phone call.

"The base. I need to leave."

"What? When?"

"Tonight..."

"But Arjun...you're on leave. And you promised..."

"I know Divya. I am sorry. But they need me."

"We need you too Arjun. Me and Ria. And our child. You promised me I wouldn't be alone this time. When Ria was born, you were gone. You promised me it wouldn't happen again. And Ma isn't here either."

"I am sorry..."

"No Arjun. You can't go. Don't go, please. For my sake? For our sake?"

"Divya, I love you. And our children. You know I do. But Air Force comes first. My country comes first. They need me."

"And us? We need you too..."

"I will be back very soon Divya. I promise..."

"I hate you Arjun Khurana"

"I love you biwi" Arjun had said and left the room to pack, leaving Divya's response unformed in her throat. Three hours later, she watched as Lt. Cdr. Arjun Khurana, her husband and the love of her life, hugged her one last time and stepped out of the apartment. 

"I promise I'd be back" he had whispered in her ear as he kissed her on his way out. She hadn't responded to the kiss.

"Hi"

Divya looked up and saw the man from her memory standing six feet in front of her - the same husband, the same love of her life.

Their eyes met and Divya stopped breathing. Slowly, she stood up. A million thoughts popped in her brain - was it really him? did he lose weight? were his eyes always this brown? - but she couldn't think any of her thoughts. She just walked until she reached him, then touched his face with her hand, trying to feel if this was really real. Suddenly, streams of tears came from nowhere and flooded down her cheeks. Perhaps it was the touch or perhaps the hint of a smile on Arjun's anguished face, but suddenly in that moment, Divya was 23 again. The girl who had eloped to marry her one true love at 20 against the wishes of her parents. The girl who was a crazy prankster who'd tricked a boy into falling in love with her so hard, he had painted the clouds to declare his love for her. The girl who had no worry in life and played with her two year old daughter like she was two years old herself. 

Suddenly she was just Arjun's Divya, yet again.

She felt Arjun's hand on her cheek, wiping off her tears even though more continued to fall, and then some more started shining in Arjun's eyes. She touched his hand, and he pulled her in an embrace that threatened to erase the years. Hesitantly, she hugged him back, unsure whether this was a dream. 

"I promised I would come back, biwi. I am back." Arjun said, tightening the embrace. Divya's response stayed unformed in her throat.

A minute or so later, Arjun pulled apart, his attention now on the two children who had been standing next to their chairs, holding each other's hands. Divya turned, and saw the hesitation in their eyes. She grabbed Arjun's hand and took him closer to their children. 

"Rohan, Ria, you won't meet Daddy?" she softly said. Ria looked away. Rohan looked questioningly at Divya and then at Arjun, not knowing what to do. 

"Hi" Arjun said.

"Are you really my Daddy?" Rohan asked.

"Yes" Arjun answered and kneeled down to bring himself at his son's eye level.

"Do you know how to fly a plane?"

"Yes"

"Did you really paint the clouds red with my mommy's name when you were doing training to become..umm..a pilot?" 

A smile broke on Arjun's face on hearing Rohan's words. He looked up at Divya who slowly blinked her eyes, then back at Rohan. "Yes"

"Okay. Mommy, I think he's ok. Can I be friends with him?" Rohan asked looking at Divya, who nodded in response. "Hi, I am Rohan Khurana." Rohan said, turning his attention back to Arjun and held his hand out which Arjun grabbed. 

"Thank you, son" Arjun said and extended his arms to hug his son, but Rohan ran behind Divya and hid himself. He had promised Divya earlier in the day that he would make friends with his father if he liked him, and he never broke a promise to his mom, but he didn't really know his father yet. 

Understanding, Arjun looked towards Ria who was still standing away, facing the other side. 

"Ria" Divya called, trying to help Arjun but Ria just turned around with a frown on her face.

"Can we go now mom? I already missed school. Now I have to do class work and home work." Ria said, keeping her gaze away from Arjun. 

"We're going. But first don't you want to say hi to daddy."

"Hi" Ria said, then turned and started walking outside. Divya looked at Arjun apologetically, then followed Ria lest she went too far outside the building, taking Rohan with her. Silently, Arjun followed her two steps behind. 

He had beat death to come back, but now it was time to confront the life he had left behind.

You promised... | Part 1

HELLO

Ma! Ma!" The screams at the door broke Divya's trance. The noise of the footsteps in the living room was evidence that her two little angels - Ria and Rohan - had returned home. "Right on time" she exclaimed as she looked at the clock on the wall that read 2:15 pm and stood up. She loved Saturdays, it was the one day of the week she was at home to receive her children as they rushed in. The rest of the week, she was at work Arjun, slaving away at the job that provided for her family now. She missed her kids, but she didn't really have an option. Still, she constantly worried for them until she got back home at 7, especially in the last two years ever since her mother-in-law had passed away. Now, the kids stayed with someone in the neighborhood who ran a very basic after-school daycare. It wasn't great but it was all she could afford, and at least her children were safe and well-fed there. Today, however, was the best day of the week. Today, in just a few seconds, Ria and Rohan would run in and hug their mother, then rattle non-stop about their day and then demand to be changed and fed hot food by her hands. Even though they had all of their other meals together, the five missed lunches every week made Saturday afternoons special for this little family. Divya wiped her tears, put on her brightest smile, and looked one last time at the photo on her wall that signified the most important part of their family that they had lost. "Miss you Arjun" Divya muttered and walked outside, mobbed by her two gangsters. 

"Ma! Tell us Daddy's pilot training story again!" Rohan asked over lunch, wanting to hear the story yet another time even though he knew every word. He had never met his father, but it seemed as if he was always looking for him in his tales. 

"Ohho...you already know that story. Let's watch TV." Ria butted in before Divya could respond. 

"No! I want Daddy's story." 

"But I want to watch Frozen." 

"You are stupid." 

"You are stupid!" 

"You are dumb like your frozen princess" 

"You are an idiot" 

"Ria...Rohan...both of you...behave. Rohan, say sorry to didi. Ria, you too." Divya interrupted the fight. 

"Sorry didi" Rohan reluctantly said. He was stubborn, but did everything Divya said. He never wanted to disappoint his mother and liked being her favorite. 

Ria, however, was still quiet and furious. 

"Ria, your turn" Divya pushed. 

"But he started it." 

"But you are elder no. You should be responsible. Come on, Rohan already apologized." 

"But he always does this ma. He always wants to listen to Daddy's stories even though they make you cry every time." Ria blurted. 

Divya was stunned. Perhaps her nine year old daughter not as young as she thought she was. Perhaps her silent tears were less silent than she believed. 

"Ria that is not..." Divya started to say, but Ria got up and ran to her room instead. Divya composed herself for a few minutes and then followed her there. 

"Ria...princess..."she softly spoke as she entered the room. Ria was sitting on her bed, softly sobbing. 

"Hey, baby...what happened..." Divya kneeled next to her as she noticed her tears. Ria hugged Divya tight. 

"I am sorry ma..." 

"Shhh...it's ok baby. Stop crying. You're my brave bacha. Tell me...look at me...first stop crying...now look at me" Divya spoke gently, wiping Ria's tears "Tell me bacha..." 

"I am sorry ma. I shouldn't have..." 

"It's okay baby."Divya hugged her and gently patted her back. 

"I have seen you cry at the night after you tell Daddy's stories. I don't like to see you cry. I hate Daddy." 

Divya looked at her daughter's innocent eyes and saw the genuine concern reflected in them. 

"Hey, Daddy loved you the most, you know. Why do you hate Daddy?" 

"Then why did he leave us? Why did he have to go away? And why does he still make you cry?" 

"He doesn't want us to cry. He loves us. He loves all of us. It's me who is bad and who still cries. I probably hurt you and your Daddy by crying. I am sorry Ria." 

"No ma. You're not bad. You're the best." 

"Naah...my Ria is the best. And bravest. You'd teach me to be brave too, won't you?" Divya tried to smile, but Ria's words had penetrated her heart. She had sensed it for a while that Ria had begun resenting Arjun. In fact, over the years, the more Rohan's obsession about his father grew, the more resentful Ria had become. And for the first time today, Divya felt that maybe she was the reason.

Maybe her grief and her longing for her dead husband was hurting her children more than she knew. Maybe, seven years was too long a time for her to still be missing Arjun so much she cried to sleep every night. But could she really stop when that moment when she had first received the news of Arjun's plane crashing during an insurgent operation was till so raw, so alive for her. She was pregnant with Rohan at the time, and the news had led her to collapse. They had to perform an emergency C-section and Rohan was all of 29 weeks when born - almost a miracle baby to have survived at that time. Seven years had passed since, exactly to the date. Radha, who had been her only support all these years, had said after the first year to not do anything special on this day to remind them all of Arjun. We still have to be alive, she would say and ask Divya to move on, even though Divya knew her own suppressed grief over losing her son was eating her inside. 

Gradually, she lost her health to her grief and only found peace when she passed away a couple of years back, leaving Divya all alone to raise her children. But she knew she constantly fell short of her children's needs and their circumstances had forced them to grow up sooner than she would have liked them to. As hard as she tried, she couldn't be their mother and father at the same time. She knew Rohan sorely felt Arjun's absence, but today after talking with Ria, she realized both her children missed their father acutely. Maybe her mother was right, maybe she should have remarried for the sake of her children. But how could she, when in her heart Arjun was still alive? How could she be someone else's wife when she had only ever belonged to and could ever belong to one person? 

Why did he have to go away - Divya silently repeated Ria's question. Even though she was just a kid, her anger resonated in Divya's heart. Seven years later, she was still mad at Arjun for leaving. For breaking his promise. Every single time. 

"Didi" Rohan's cute voice at the door broke the comfortable embrace of mother and daughter. 

"Sorry didi" He said as he entered the room, holding his ears. Divya couldn't help but break into a smile looking at his cute face. She also noticed how hard Ria was trying to control her smile and maintain a sullen face for Rohan. He fought all the time with his elder sister, but also loved her like crazy. Only last week he had beaten up some guy in Ria's class at school who stole her lunch. Thankfully Ria had whisked him away before her classmate could retaliate. They both protected each other - and their mother - from the world, but she really needed to step in to protect the two crazies from each other. 

"Let it go...let it go...let it go..." Rohan started drawling Ria's favorite Frozen song in his baritone, at which Ria erupted laughing. 

"You can't sing kiddo. Don't spoil the song." 

"I am not kiddo. I will be seven tomorrow on my birthday. And see, I am almost as tall as you now." 

"No, you're not. You're dumb, kiddo." 

"Mommy." 

"Yeah, oye, who called my little prince kiddo? He's a big boy, can't you see Ria." Divya said, settling Rohan in her lap. 

"Yeah, that's why he is sitting in Mommy's lap. Little kiddo." 

"That's it. If I am so little, let's see if you can catch me." Rohan jumped off Divya's lap, grabbed Ria's favorite doll lying on the bed and ran out of the room. Soon, Ria was following him and the ruckus was back all over the house. 

And inside Divya's heart.
"You promised you'd be there by my side, you promised you'd be the world's greatest Dad for Rohan, you promised I won't be alone again, then why did you break your promise to me Arjun. Why didn't you love us more than your job? Why did you go away? " 

*************************************** 

"Pop" burst yet another balloon that Rohan was trying to blow into. Ria, Rohan and Divya were busy putting up decorations around the house for Rohan's birthday party in a few hours. 

"You blew another balloon. See ma, I told you, he keeps blowing air until the balloon pops. He has already wasted six. Ask him to stop ma." 

"It's my birthday." Rohan grinned. 

"Yes, it is, sweetheart. Sorry Ria, it's his birthday." Divya grinned back. 

"But I am in charge of the decoration! See I made everything so pretty. He is spoiling the party ma!" Ria protested. 

"It's my party. I don't want your help." 

"Maaa"' 

"Rohan, don't be mean. Ria is doing all this for your friends only. You should thank her." 

"But I want to play with balloons." 

"Ok, why don't you take these two and play inside. Me and Ria will finish the decorations. Then I have to finish the icing on your cake too." 

Rohan went inside, but returned in ten minutes. 

"Ma, I forgot something. Here's your gift" 

"My gift? But it's your birthday." 

"But you're my mom. So gift for you." 

Divya took the card in Rohan's hand on which Rohan had drawn Divya, a big Rohan and a tiny Ria holding Divya's hands. For the first time, Rohan hadn't drawn Arjun - only a photo of him on the wall. Happy Rohan Birthday, the card read. 

"Haww...this is me? So small?" Ria yelled, peeking over Divya's shoulder to see the card. 

"Yep" Rohan grinned. 

"I will kill you." 

"Not today. Today is my birthday." He continued to shamelessly show his teeth while Ria fumed. 

"Very smart Rohan. Thank you, this is beautiful. But why is Daddy not in this card?" 

"Daddy makes you cry, so I put him on the back. I don't want Daddy mom. I will not even ask for his stories any more. Then you will not cry no? You're the world's best ma. I only want you. I hate Daddy." 

Divya's eyes welled up hearing Rohan, but she held back her tears. What was she doing to her children, lost in her grief? No more tears, she promised herself. 

"I will never cry, I promise. But never say we hate Daddy ok? We love him, and he loves us. He is watching us all the time, and he wants us to be happy. Promise me, both of you, you'd never say bad things about daddy." 

Ria looked away, but Rohan nodded in agreement. "I promise" 

Before Divya could respond, Vikram's voice at the door distracted them all. "Wow this looks fabulous!" 

"Hi Vikram uncle!" Ria beamed. "Hi Ria..." 

"Vikram uncle!!!" Rohan yelled and ran towards Vikram, who in turn took a couple of steps in and gathered Rohan in his arms. Vikram used to be Arjun's best friend in college, and Divya's senior. Just before their wedding though, he had gone to US for post-graduation. He only returned after Arjun's demise and it was only after that that Divya got to know Vikram, even though she had heard many of his stories from Arjun. Now, he lived close-by and tried to help Divya out every way he could, including getting her current job. 

"Happy birthday champ" 

"Thank you. Where's my gift?" 

"Gift...umm...I forgot..." 

Rohan made a sulking face "Okay..." 

"Oh, but what is this in my pocket?" 

"Yeyy...give me" Rohan jumped at the packet and climbed down to sit and unwrap it. 

"Wow...look ma...video game...this is so cool...right?" 

"Yeah, but did you thank Vikram uncle?" 

"Oh sorry" Rohan leapt up and gave a huge hug to Vikram "Thank you. I love you." 

"Love you too champ. Now go play" 

Rohan ran inside with his video game while Ria focussed her attention on the balloons. 

"Hi Divya" 

"Hi Vikram. You again bought a toy for Rohan?" 

"Oh come on. It's his birthday. Stop being strict for at least one day." 

"Hmm...you came early." 

"Yeah I thought you'd need help to set up before the party. So here I am, at your service, madame. What are my instructions?" 

Divya smiled as Vikram bowed. "Nothing. You help Ria here. I will go finalise the cake." 

"Yes ma'am" 

"Divya" Vikram called as Divya was about to enter the kitchen. 

"Yeah?" 

"You look beautiful today!" 

Divya shrugged away the compliment and continued to walk inside. 

An hour later, everything was set. Rohan and Ria had changed and both were busy watching cartoons sitting with Vikram on the couch, waiting for their friends to arrive. Divya checked the cake in the fridge one last time, when the phone rang. 

Usually, Rohan would rush to pick up the phone, esp. the landline, but noticing him engrossed in his Chhota Bheem cartoons, Divya walked to her bedroom to answer the call. 

"Hello" she said, half her attention still in the living room to keep an eye if any kids had come yet. 

"Hello" came a familiar voice. Too familiar. The voice was soft and shaky, yet triggered a wave within Divya, pulling back her attention. 

"D..Divya?" said the voice. Her name. This voice. Seven years. This couldn't be... 

"Arj.." Divya's voice choked, unable to complete any thought that was running through her head right now. She was imagining things, wasn't she? But still she had to ask. She had to know. 

"Yes, it's me, biwi. It's your Arjun"