UNABASHEDLY UNAPOLOGETIC...

I have been told that I say sorry a lot(not too long ago). I don't know how much of that is true or valid, but for the time being let me accept it, and almost as a reformatory measure, I've decided to become unapologetic for the same, and vehemently so. In this attempt, I might end up with an arbit post( like a lot of my other arbit posts), but then the same person told me that I just can't help being arbit! No debates there...[:D][:D][;)]

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Everyone, or at least most of us, do carry with us several guilts, big or small, and on issues serious and trivial. Guilts are few of the most personal things one possesses. But several times we have an option too, of ignoring or at least suppressing our guilts strongly enough such that they do not affect our 'tangible' thought-processes and visible actions. More often than not, this turns out to be a good thing. But sometimes I'm forced to wonder if we are not in effect suppressing our conscience at times in our attempts to keep our guilts from the public domains of our existence. Anyway, I have no real intentions of emptying out more philosophy from my endless coffers in this post. It's just that a few days back there was a screening of Amu here, a recent, national-award winning movie based on the 1984 Delhi riots, and the movie plus the ensuing discussion actually got me thinking a bit about the inexplicable-to-me attitude that we in india have about what happened, and to think of it, several such issues. It's like we all share a guilt, but probably we are so ashamed of it, we even refuse to acknowledge it openly. I wasn't even born when Nov 1984 happened, but it actually surprises me to some extent that all I really got to know in 18 yrs of my life abt the topic was that yes, there were some violence between Hindus and sikhs in Delhi when Indira Gandhi died, and that it's probably another of those dead issues BJP keeps crying itself hoarse abt, to attack Congress, when it can find nothing 'relevant' to say (and yes, I accept, the recent Nanawati commission reports and controversies actually got me thinking about the topic for the first time). Now, with improved knowledge and hours of thinking under my belt, I first of all feel ashamed for my lack of sensitivity to the relevance of the topic, but no, I'm not apologetic at all. Because my indifference has stemmed from the indifference and the shockingly protective attitude of the society I've grown up in, and these are the people, the generation before mine, who are the ones who are actually so unapologetic, and shamelessly so, about what is a national shame. Somehow, we're all concerned these days about media, and it's increasingly unregulated role and influence in our society. But for once, I'm really grateful to the fact that the media, fuelled by competition and perhaps solely-profiteering motives, at least gave gujarat soem kind of coverage, so that the perpetrators of Godhra-and-after could not be let off like those of delhi-1984, atleast not that easily. It doesnt ensure justice for sure, and unfortunately, a lot of injustice happened and is still happening with the victims of Gujarat. But atleast u and me sitting in the comforts of our homes miles away from Gujarat 'know' about it, at least we feel for them, at least we feel ashamed of it, atleast we know Modi is a crook, at least we apologise to the international community for a national carnage. I know it's not enough by any standards, but considering how something as ghastly that happened in the very place I have lived all my life in is not even given the right to "words", it's atleast better. From where I see it, it's like the common masses of our country have collectively chose to shut their eyes. What i dont undertsand is why? To shut ur eyes to a problem, to not acknowledge it at all, is only a way to escape it for the time being, and ensure that it resurfaces again sooner or later(which it has), rather than solving it. I could have felt sorry for what happened. I could have offered my sympathies and apologies here to those who suffered, but I won't. It just doesnt mean anything, given the attitudes our society has shown. Crowds are known to be forgetful, but we never had the right to forgive ouurselves on pseudo-behalf of the victims in our mighty acts of benevolence, did we?