Thursday, September 08, 2005

RAIN

It was raining that night. And she was all alone.

For half a second, everything was bright. The puddles on the road gleamed and drops shone in the light as they struck a boulder and bounced backwards to hit the anthouse at the bottom of the old banyan tree below which she was standing. the anthouse was flooded, and destroyed. Much like the destruction that had set in her own life. Or atleast, was about to. But for the moment, for at least that half a second, everything was bright.

Lightning had struck, and inevitably, was followed by thunder. Far away, lightning had struck at the top of an ailing mother's hut waiting for her two daughters and electrocuted her instantly. But here, that was invisible and hence unknown. It was only the deafening thunder that was tangible here, the thunder that lasted several seconds and made her shiver, although it is hard to tell whether she was shivering because of the thunder, or because of the chill of the wet night, or because of fear. She looked around and saw noone. There was no help, and no danger either, yet. She was scared but she knew there was no turning back now. Lightning had struck, she was only waiting for the thunder now.

She had come too far by now, and the only path was forward. For a moment she wanted to give up, and run back to the security of her mother's lap and sister's embrace. She looked back in the direction of the road she had come from. If she ran back, it would take her thirteen minutes and twenty-two seconds to return to the safety of her home, with water dripping copiuosly from her clothes as well as her eyes. It seemed tempting, but she knew she couldn't do that. She'd taken a decision, and she had to stick to it now. That decision had propelled her to hunt for that small envelope from her purse on the back of which was written the number of her future employer and then make the one call that was shortly going to change her life forever. She had come too far by now.

Those were the last few moments. The last of the ants still left struggling against drowning in the same waters that had swept away its home and family now found itself giving up. Far away, a drenched asthamatic twelve-yard old had returned home to find the entire house dark, and the dead, frozen body of her ill mother, still holding the metallic railing of the window. Shock had stunned her for a moment, and immediately she was struck by a severe attack. She yelled for help, but there was nobody else, and her hysteria was subdued in the clamour of the noisy raindrops and croaking frogs outside the window. but here, all that was invisible and unknown. She glanced at her watch. she knew, those were the last few moments.

The storm had abated, or so it seemed. The turbulent winds had died down, and even the rains had become less harsh, steadier and slower. There was no trace of any ant-houses under the banyan tree. Far away, two dead bodies lay undetected in a ruined house, a ruined home. Those were the only two people she cared for, the only two people she had in this world. They were the reason she was here now. She had seen their misery, she had seen their illness, she had seen their poverty, she had seen their hunger, and then, she'd seen enough. She saw all this and decided to overlook her own emotion, self-respect, desire and individuality. She could see the headlights at the corner of the road now. Soon she'd get into that Limousine and leave- leave her sense of dignity, her love for life and living, her self-esteem and all the morals behind. She had a test to pass tonight. If she was judged good enough after today's one-night stand, she would get the golden pportunity to spend her entire youth as yet another mistress of her generous employer. If not, at least the money she'd earn tonight was enough to pay for a week of her mother and sister's medicines and food. Then she'd have to look for more one-night deals. She got into the limousine and the rain stopped. The storm had abated, leaving only destruction behind.

It had been raining that night, and she was all alone.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

If she ran back, it would take her thirteen minutes and twenty-two seconds to return to the safety of her home

Was it necessary to give the time ? It comes across as a rude mechanical obstruction to the flow of the story.
Also i felt that killing the sister was unnecessary.
Otherwise a fine story, as usual, though its a theme i haven't seen you explore before.

Kaala Kavva said...

If she ran back, it would take her thirteen minutes and twenty-two seconds to return to the safety of her home

the first time 'a fasinated fan' is not actually fascinated.. amazing..

anyways.. where's the approx in these lines my deer ?

. : A : . said...

Intriguing and well written.

Anonymous said...

yeh to kisi bollywood movie ki beginning lagti hai ... :d

yeah like czar ...main bhi soch raha hu why suddenly this story. but i dont think any big issue is behind this story...

and yeah like others i too believe it " nicely written " so-so story

~Voice

Prasad Narulkar said...

hmm...nicely written...especially the emotions are captured correctly and in sync with the rains...
good one ther...
:-)

VERTIGO said...

No clue what was the meaning and what was the reason??
Nice presentation,great writting skills,but why the hell did you have to mention it will take me 13 minutes 22 secs 12 millisecs or was it 13 or maybe the rain would add an additional drag,you haven't considered the additional air drag due to increase in density of air,due to humidity,have you.:D,and for godsakes yaar kabhi kabaar apney protagonist ki life mein thodi jaan daal do,I mean MAcbeth was a great play,par too much of tragedy==Serious mental issues to be tackled||too many sento movies offlate

Phoenix said...

Well, the use of the "13 minutes and 22 seconds" has brought more reactions than I'd expected, but that just reveals an 'intelligent' readership, with an eye for detail...

As per the reasons, well attribute it down to a whim of my mind, a writer's license to arbitrariness, or watever u wish. for the rest, for whatever you guys perceive the story is between the lines, well, I would rather not discuss that here. If I had to, it would have been a sttraight post, not a story.
Don't read between the lines always, that's my advice, esp Nitin and prad....
Anyway, thanx everyone for reading.

@TLC...ASSUME.

@AFF...Wat's so bad abt the theme?

@RcGM...it disappeared, approximately so

@Voice
if it sounds like a movie...only means u have a good imagination, and the story CAN be visualised...right?

@vertigo
well....life resides in tragedues..anyway, nxt time!

The Reader said...

Thanks for the lyrics :)

Anonymous said...

@AFF...Wat's so bad abt the theme?

Nothing ... i don't think i said that.

VERTIGO said...

Life resides in tragedies:O,ohh dear and all these years I was in search of all the little joya that I thought made up life,thankyou phoenix you have opened my eyes,now i can be sick+ morose and know that "this is all what life is about":P.Hope your event went well.

Phoenix said...

Life resides in tragedies, and you can live it in the true sense of the word only if you look for little joys AMONG and within the tragedies.

Life is a story of pain, but also a story of finding happiness in pain.

Voice said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Voice said...

@Voice
if it sounds like a movie...only means u have a good imagination, and the story CAN be visualised...right?

NO... actually aisi bahut sari situation tumhe bollywood movies me dekhne ko mil jayengi

But it was definitely well written.

aur tumne hi kaha tha its all abt expressiveness..

Phoenix said...

Ok, this may seem as an unusual thing to say, but there's one strange reason for which I find this story amusing, and that's probably the only reason why i like it at all, if at all.

It's this: there's a certain "algo" in the way this story is written, structured.
whenever I read it, only the algo in each pgh strikes me. I wanna know if someone else noticed it?

Anonymous said...

@phoenix this story is structured..

and probably everyone noticed it.
algo seem to me ants rain and life (girl mainly).. each para add something to all this..and complements other too.
may b u r looking for this..

~Voice

Phoenix said...

Well, everyone missed the algo..

Of course the story is structured, but the main thing is this..
every pgh starts and end with the same sentence, and even the first and the last sentence of the story are the same...

Always reminds me of the opening and closing brackets {} of a C++ program.
:D

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