Horror-Scope

Everyone has their share of big horrors and small fears in their lives, in their todays, tomorrows and yesterdays. Some people acknowledge them, most don't understand them and quite a few try to run away from them. I haven't yet decided which category I belong to, but that's not something I really care about. Most of the times, I am not an escapist. I have learnt it the hard way that it's far far better to directly face your fears as soon as possible. It takes some guts, but it's something that's really important, and one of the most effective methods of conquering the fear forever. There's a small period of lots of hurt and courage and sweating, but in the end, all goes well. That's been my brave-girl's theory for some time now, and mostly, it works.

But I'd not put up a false show of bravery too much here. The idea is that sometimes, some very few times, I find escapism is a good solution to some problems. Of course, advocates of this theory tell me that it is a solution to most, but I don;t really agree. Postponing troublesome situations as long as possible is not what I can always do, and I don't think I'm equipped enough to pass judgements on relative merits of the two things. I just know that mostly, I don't do it.

What brought me to write this post though, is something far less philosophical, though there can be parallels, and perhaps, far less important too. I was thinking about the almost-universal desire of knowing one's future. Almost everyone thinks about it, and this slow simmering desire of "kash koi bata de exactly kya hone wala hai", the kind that propels millions to read the Fortune-of-the-Day page in DT everyday, exists. Despite the fact that most would know how fraud and untrue, how much of a generalisation it is. It's like a small irresistible sin, a guilty pleasure that harms noone(and pays atleast two people per newspaper publication a nice pay cheque every month. Can I get that job please?)

A lot many people are afraid of ambiguity and uncertainty, and this fear manifests itself in various ways. At one level, horoscope-addiction, palmologist-visiting, and to take it to the extreme, going by the "kundli" type beliefs are one of those manifestations. Infact one believes in them or not, but a lot many just do it for the heck of it, almost obsessively, to satisfy some credulous part of themselves.

I don't. I find it stupid, irrational(and watever adjectioves all sensible people of the world give as an excuse), but then naturally enough I do think about the future at times. And then I think perhaps knowing about the future is not such a good idea at all. It's better to take things as they come. But does this amount to escapism at one level as well?

I don't know, but what I know is, too much knowledge can be scary at times, even though it is a lot of power, but then , power can be intimidating too. And knowledge with helplessness is sheer torture. That's why sometimes I wish my mind blanked out a bit, and I didnt understand things at all. Hindsight is a beautiful thing, and good as it may be, at times foresight is ugly.

That, I confess, is one of my horrors.