Some days are just "one of those days" right! when all strange and strangely bad things happen together, when even the 'good' things fail to bring any joy to you, when the whole world looks more distant and colder than ever, and when thy reflection in the mirror looks suddenly 10 times more hideous than otherwise. Normally these are the times when I sink into a quieter anti-social existence and put on a thinking cap, or else just shut down. And as much as i want to do the same, I'm spending so much time in a crowd compulsarily that there's only the one option of getting lost, which is getting lost within yourself invisibly without letting others know. To top it I'm so tired and headache-stricken and sleep-deprived and stamina-deprived because I've hardly eaten or slept in the last 50 hours, that I can't even think much!
I feel liking I'm being starved in a world that's growing increasingly lonely for me by the day. I can't talk myself out of this anymore -illusions do not last forever. The whole world is growing hazy, but why do I not even feel blanketed by the haze?
It was such a bad "one of those days". There are just three words that say it all...I am hurt.
I've plainly been, shockingly but true, slightly lucky at the most unexpected of times, which is why I've survived it, but then it feels stifling. What do you do when you see your ideals and established fundas simply come crashng in front of you in one second? What do you do when somebody loses respect for no reason when you didn't want that? What do you do when you know you are just going on fighting for a lost cause? Dah.I almost wish we weren't into semifinals now. I'd have loved a peacefuller Tuesday, but I know that wuldn't happen.
Actually, I know what one should do? Maybe one should just go and sleep. It;s better to face bad tuesdays with some pretence of a self-confidence!
I'm what I'm because of what you think I'm not.
Goodnight.
12 comments:
sleep-deprived and stamina-deprived because I've hardly eaten or slept in the last 50 hours
Isn't this appearing in too many of your posts lately ?
you're right...sleeping is indeed the best possible cure to these feelings. perhaps followed by a long jog after waking up.
its a common flooded-by-work syndrome.
btw...what semifinals are you in now?
"WORRY AND SADNESS DONT EMPTY TOMMOROW OF ITS DIFFICULTIES AND TRIALS,THEY ONLY ROB YOU OF TODAYS STRENGTH"--CORRIE TEN BOOM
buck up yaar,there are grey patches in all peoples life,get some sleep and spend sometime with family and friends,u will fel better.
As for the 50 hrs bit,thats exactly the same situation I am in these days.
I hate chemistry,do u know how to deal with a loads of reacns. with one thing coomon in them--the benzene ring?The question is out of place in context to your post,but yet i think that u shud know that theres nothing worse than benzene all around you--see i am cracking with all the pressure around m,hmm shud i take an aspirin,now what was the formula of aspirin-salicaldehyde or salicylic acid?just kidding...laugh a lot,keep smiling and remember me sometimes,you will feel that there is a fool in the world who cares that a friend like u is happy.
[aff]
Perhaps.
something's wrong. my body feels a;llergic to food.
but i should stop being so honest in my posts.
[sid]
sleep does help for sure
i had five hours.
it's the inter hostel parliamentary going on, and after two days of close debates, we are in the semi finals which are this evening and we are up against a nearly invincible team.
[azeem]thanx for the cheeroing up dost
study well for ur exams yar, evenif the chemistry looks bad:|
i think all the benzene ring in my template just got to ur nerves, right?
concentrate and u;d do well..chem is nt too tough seriously:)
Yup... there's nothing like a good night's sleep...and of course, food to get over depression :) !!
While I sympathize with your condition, the line about being "deprived of food and sleep", sounds astonshingly and eerily, like Manu Saxena!!!!! The only difference is probably the fact that it is happening to you at some time other than minors/majors.
Yes, illusions do not last forever, and after some time, all forms of illusion stop working. That is sad. Maybe.
Guess I need to set rules for your eating and sleeping :-w
milo tum mujhse
kya ho gaya yaar ??
"What do you do ..... front of you in one second?"
wish i could answer that..have felt it so many times & ended up being helpless.
[chitra]
True.
[matt]
Err...well...i dont think manu's gonna be happy with that comparison:P
and yes, minors/majors are the time when i sleep the most...:D
[The anonymous]
Why the maybe?
[raja]
haan haan milo na
[insane]
Some questions do not have answers. Some answers belong to questions that have never been asked.
"I'm what I'm because of what you think I'm not"
Why do you have to always to assert that you are not as predictable as anybody else,knowing that you are.
Because illusions are, I think, just a safety cover, good for the time being, but moving out of them gives us a better taste of life, which ultimately tastes better than illusions. Maybe.
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