I've a few thousand questions for myself and no answers. Gosh I so hate myself...
Why does my 'happiness' depends so much on somebody else's happiness, and worse, somebody else's actions.......things that they do or don't? Why is my life a function of how somebody else chooses to live his/her life?
Why do I care? Why do I cry? Why do I do crazy things I don't really want to do just to beat the depression? Why does depression still manage to beat me?
Why don't I know what and who I really want for myself? Why am I afraid of wanting? Why do I teach myself to want only what's available and reasonably gettable? Why do I re-define contentment so that I could believe myself to be content?
Why do I forget the past when the present gives me things that are happier or worse than they have been? Why do I forget and forgive all harsh words the moment I hear one word of kindness or apology? Why do I overlook all the moments of care and affection the moment the pain in the present begins to mount?
Why does one moment of 'happiness' weigh more in comparison with hundred moments of pain? Why can't I receive all the things that life has to offer with equal gratitude?
Why the BIAS?
I really really hate myself.
9 comments:
This too shall pass...or so they say.
you're only human.
Ah, the questions! :P
hate is a relative term i wld say.
we have our own preferences and hence the bias!
we love some and we hate some and its natural to be biased....
and why do you hate yourself for being biased to certain things? or you dont want to answer certain questions so that you want to hate urself????
too many questions.... don't wander alone in the woods :D
Don't u think without any BIAS life wud become too too monotonous??I wud prefer Hell over a monotonous life!!Now I kinda luv this bias -:)
it seems familiar to me....the proclaimation "ï hate myself"....
u sound so much like me..hehe
why......
and the best answer I have found so far is "because the sky is so high"
Doesn't help to think
kiddo the sooner you break out of your conditioning the better it would be.
But it is not easy to break free. you have been brought up to allign, you have been nurtured to be one in masses, you have been explained the importance of people around you, how you have to be sensitive to their needs, how you have to respond, so much so that your mind believes it as un-questionable truth.
Society, rules, nations, rat race and you want to find a place in all this. Plus a loved one too. but what you are truly searching for is peace and happiness.
you have to realize that the source for all this is YOU.
:-)
take care
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