The journal of an abandoned girl

So, this is it.

He's decided to leave me. Or technically, he already has left me. Of course there are thousands of better women on earth, why should he have stuck to me anyway? But...but...err...but why? As in why did it not strike me to leave him before he left me??

Aaarrrggghhh I'm such a fool.

But...never mind. He's not the be all and end all. He isn't the last man on earth. He wasn't the greatest either. Sure he was cute and all, at least initially, but then, time withers it out right. Things never stay the same. If they did life would stagnate and rot. But, why do they always change for the worse? Usually, that is.

He left me. That bit is cool actually. It was natural. I mean, the last time I laughed with him was like, er, 5 months ago? And I hadn't even seen him for the last whole month. Sure something had to happen. This was never working out anyway. He doesn't fit in my scheme of things and life, and I didn't fit in his. We never had the real connect to last anyway. But what I absolutely HATE is the way it happened. Why didn't I kick him off before he coolly told me he was going to marry someone[???? :O :O]. As in..what the hell.. why didn't he ask ME to marry him? Of course I'd have refused him....he can be quite a pain at times and he has terrible mood swings. But, the catch is that I wasn't even asked...considered....OMG!

It isn't new of course. My ex-boyfriend also left me one day like that. And even the one I had in school years back. They never fight and curse or something. I have never fought with anyone. I always have peaceeful nice relationships that soon become loveless and then disappear. I never notice of course, which is why I'm not the one to find someone else and gently kick the guy. But they do, and they gently kick me with a bundle of polite chivalrous thank yous for all the nice time and the care. This one actually went on and on about the difference I had made to his life by teaching him to love and respect etc etc etc. Hello, those tuitions were so that you could love and respect me as long as i pleased?

Anyway, now it's over. I must go to his wedding three weeks before christmas now. But I need a few things before that. Like a nice sexy dress, and a couple of inches have to be lost at the right places so that the sexy tight revealing dress makes me look all the more desirable to him, and hopefully he'd curse himself for missing all that, and most importantly, a nice hunk whose arm I can take when I walk into the hall. I might have to rent some of those, mainly the latter one, but I don't care. I need to make him jealous, and once he's burnt, he can go to hell.

Meanwhile tonight I shall celebrate the demise of it all. But I need to figure out all this first. Why does everybody abandon me before I have the sense to abandon him? Why doesn't that cute foreigner who stays two floors down look at me with the same hopeful eyes I do eeach time I pass him? Something is terribly wrong...even worse than a bad haircut! Maybe I've grown too fat. Maybe I'm just the worst gal on earth.

Worst, and single. Actually, abandoned.

On a Saturday night!!!

Something aren't fair. What do you think?

For now it's on to Roxette, and tomorrow onwards I go on a diet!

It must have been love, but it's over now

It was all that I wanted, now I'm living without

It must have been love, but it's over now

It must have been good, but I lost it somehow

Aarghh..I hate it. I wanna die tonight.

P.S. Warning....mostly fictional it is...don't get misguided! :D