Communication

It's kind of fitting that I write my 200th post on this blog on something that this blog itself signifies --Communication. This blog, this public diary, was always meant to be a means for me to talk to myself, and sometimes to others. It has been, in either case, a means of expression and communication. And that's what I've been thinking about, again, these days. In fact I had a two hour lecture today on Communication with robots and machines, but my thoughts kept digressing on a more subtle, philosophical, complicated humane platform.

It's a well-known cliched, the fact that speech and communication separates Homo sapiens from the rest. And it indeed is very powerful the whole idea and the potency of communication and talking(or for that matter, not talking). Silence is an under-estimated, though not under-acknowledged means of communication. Very often we all love and savour silence so much, especially the ones which enable hearts and souls to talk to one another without losing the meaning in the ambiguity of words. However, I have already said so much about silence and how much I savour it mostly that I think I'd devote more space to the broader issue of communication tonight, verbal or otherwise.

The fact is that communication is vital. Introverts understand it as well as extroverts do, though perhaps for different reasons. And ambiverts like me end up with mixed perspectives and mixed-up opinions more often than not. But nobody disagrees that communication is something important, and it is what makes us human as well as "as fallible as a human". But then, it is what earns us (or steals away from us) our friends, lovers, companions and mostly, family members too (talking of a bit more than the obligatory inherited part of the blood relationship). Communication is what earns us people in our lives, and it is the only way to connect and reach out to somebody else, especially a stranger. Gestures, words, actions and silences are all communication, and together they bring love, happiness and a variety of other emotions in our life.

Still, isn't it astonishing the number of people we have lost, notably friends and intimacy among some family members in many cases, simply because misunderstood or non-existant communication. I feel losing friends to miscommunication is one of the worst things that can happen to us, yet it does happen fairly often. Unexpressed emotions -- be it anger, hurt, gratitude or love -- often decimate so many possibilities of intimacy and love in our lives. How rarely do we tell people who matter to us how much we care and appreciate. How little of our nice feelings towards the people around us are reflected on a day-to-day basis. It's a pity if we lose a friend we cared for simply because of what I call 'time decay', which is a very natural phenomenon, as shivam put, a tendency for things to spiral downwards under 'gravity' if untended. And the irony is that today the times we live in is the age of communication, telecommunication, mass-communication and all that crap when we have so many ways to communicate at our disposal. I really do have a lot of sympathies for all the unexpressed emotions of this world, barring those of jealousy and malice.

Personally I can't make out any sense of the idea of 'relationships" among those who get together because 'she looks so hot' and 'he looks so cute' and 'I think he's tolerable to talk to too' so 'will you be my valentine'. If I were in my Loveguru modes, I'd probably spend a paragraph with advices on what not to do and how such a girl would be so tedious to live with after three months and such a guy such a pain and insensitive jerk after a couple of months. But at the moment I'd just restrain myself to say that a relationship not found on the foundations of a strong mental/emotional connect that more often than not come from effective, hearty and soothing 'free conversation' is a waste and not worth anything. But the latent problem in this sphere is not of initiation but sustainance. Like two great friends, a compatible loving couple is also very susceptible to falling apart because of the dying out of communication and sharing. If that were not true, 70% of love marriages would never have fallen apart. But over a period of time, we all tend to take each other for granted. We forget telling our parents and siblings how much they matter to us, we forget spending quality times with friends that would indicate they mean something to us, we forget talking and connecting with our girlfriends/boyfriends/spouses at the ground level, and Boom! one day we suddenly realise the damage has been done nearly irreparably. Friends are lost and relationships break off. Why? Because somewhere down the way we lost communication. we stopped sharing the trivial things and then the important things too and then everything at all. People start feeling we are not interested/don't care/don;t wanna stand by them and they distance further and go into their shells even more, while we barely see the difference till it's too late because we think we are the same anyway. Why does that happen, I have no answer. But it's sad.

For communication to be effective, we need to listen more than we need to talk. But we can't talk too less or listen too much either. Wish the balance was more understood! So for anyone who wants somebody to listen to, at least I'm here talk to me..I've too much time and too few people to talk to anyway...