Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Unheard

खामोशियों कि ज़ुबां भी समझना भूल गए वो
लब्ज़ों को जो पहले से ही सुन नहीं पाते
अश्कों कि चादर ने धुन्धला दी है लिखाई
वरना शायद इन आँखों को ही आज पढ़ पाते
अनसुनी मेरी धड़कनें थम थम के चलने लगीं
टूटे हुए दिल में रफ़्तार कहाँ से लाते
जज़्बातों की हर डोर को बेरुखी से तोड़ा था जिसने
काश वो इन साँसों की डोर को भी तोड़ कर जाते
Forgotten they have hearing silences
Those who already never heard the words
A blanket of tears has blurred the writing
Else they could have read these eyes, perhaps.
Unheard, my heart beats intermittently
For pace couldn't be managed by a broken heart
With harshness when they broke every single bond
Wish they'd also put an end to my life's path.

9 comments:

neha said...

Aapke ashq bhale hi sab kuch mita dein
par aankhon ka bikhra hua kajal to sab kuch keh deta hai
!!

Anonymous said...

Liked the idea behind the third couplet the most.

There is a certain beauty associated with the way Hindi/Urdu allows us to use 'aap' and 'hum' as singular. It can be used to express, according to the context, the intimacy with or the indifference for the person. So while 'they' in English seems to contradict the meaning of the Hindi poem (which sounds like a loss-of-romantic-love poem), I can't even recommend a 'he'. A 'he/she' doesn't do justice to the status we accord to the person whether because of the newly developed indifference or as the last bastion of intimacy. Translations are tough.

(I know all this doesn't sound contextual if the poem is not actually a loss-of-romantic-love poem.)

So somebody in the world at least 'used to be' better at understanding silences than words?! Most people stop hearing silences earlier than words. Dunno which is worse.

Anonymous said...

felt something like me..
i wrote like this some day before.

very nice phoenix..n very true

Phoenix said...

[neha]
meri bikhre hue kajal ki dastane na pado...
andhera kajal ki kalikh se bahar nikal ayega

[vik]
Well actually it was NOT meant to be a loss-of-romantic-love poem, plainly a loss poem...and at least for me relevant to a grp and not one person, but of course it's open to interpretation. And I'm the last person who could claim to be good at writing poetry or worse, translating anything.

And it does happen, sometimes silences are understood better than words...but that bliss never lasts long.

[dreamcatcher]
I know, though the idea of the poem was very different from yours...only the title..for lack of imagination on my part is so reminiscent.

Anonymous said...

Hmm...it's got a nice ring to it, especially the Hindi/Urdu version. It obviously sounds like an ode to a deaf heart patient, who cries over his notebooks - if that makes sense??

Anyways, keeping apart my third-grade critique, I like the sheer un-understandable yet delicate, beauty of it. Great work - I'm off to read it again!!

Anonymous said...

"I'm the last person to..."
- I don't know how my comment could elicit this! (That was mostly not a comment on your poem and your translation of it.) But now if I'd talk of poetry, you'd come up with "Don't flatter me unnecessarily." So I won't :P

Anonymous said...

na na na..i didn't mean that way..

its not lack of imagination that we pursue ma'm...

n I meant what I feel ...the terse of my composition is what u r saying a bit :).. n u have done this so beautifully..

i stepped back in time ..n i acknowledge ur feelings beneath this..

Phoenix said...

[akshay]
lol...thats the funniest comment i have received in a longg time..and must say a really fresh interpretation of my poor poem.
rofl@heart patient.
How un-understandable am I?!

[vik]
Good :P

[dreamcatcher]
no point arguing, bow to thee monsieur.

Anonymous said...

you might like this as well

http://rapidshare.com/files/40302472/06_-_Jagjit_Singh_-_Munh_Ki_Baat.mp3.html