One day I went to a biggie-wiggie finance types and asked him to suggest me a good investment scheme that was both risk-free and profitable. After discussing (and disagreeing) for a couple of hours, he quipped with a haughty dismissive air, "The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket."
I decided not to take it lying down (I may clarify I was seated on a chair at that time and "lying down" is only an English expression I learnt in Middle School :P) and answered before leaving, "Sorry bhaisahab, whatever I've earned and saved from mandir ke aage, ped ke neeche is unfortunately all made-of-steel-with-Bharat-sarkaar-ka-thappa-on-it. Doesn't fold! Thank you"
He looked at me in disbelief, then managed to say "Pessimists never make profits because they're too busy estimating the losses actually incurred w.r.t. the optimists' earlier estimates. And your pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists perhaps."
This was too much. I got angry.
"You are wrong. I'm so optimistic that my optimism extends beyond the point of even suspecting that there maybe a limit to it. And that is why I'm still optimistic that I'd get the deal I want somehow, and that one day even you'd realise how incompetent you are and quit before being fired. I'm that optimistic!"
Ha! This time I managed to silence him!
I was nearly out of the room when I heard him plaigiarise Calvin:“Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN!”
Loser!
On my way home, an old friend saw me and seeing me disappointed at the unproductive day, gave the conventional wisdom piece, "Don't worry. People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love." I reflected and realised, that it means people really suffer and struggle so that later they can happily really really suffer doing what they love, or who they love.
I got home cribbing to Hubby about the waste of the day and the impolite chap.
After half-listening for an hour, he sermonised before dozing off, "Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows."
In between comes a blog post, I thought to myself.
20 comments:
More arbit than ANYTHING I've been reading of late. Seriously. My hat's off to you...
Smart alecs always fail in their business dealings. Anyways, so agree with your concluding lines!
SENSEX CRASHES,BULLS AND SHARE KHANS....ALL PISS ME OFF!!I M HAPPY WITH MY FIXED DEPOSITS OF HUMOR!!
FOTCL!!!
Poor poor guy...
Invest in a Bloody university...
you will always gain money...
Blimey!! Education is the biggest farking business
[doc]
More arbit than anything even by MY standards.
Thanks for the hat though, really needed one :P
[akshay]
The business, anyway, was hardly the point!
[azeem]
:) And humour at your palate sir:)
[pricky]
I changed my mind. I'll invest my Rs 5.75 in eating a chhota Cadbury instead, and stay happy.
Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.
jst perfect line ...cynicism has always followed and it will.
one of the best post from u...loved every word of it...
n smart alecs...seems they are like rat's population ...they r everywhere ..gosh!
I love it that you and the finance guy shared a perfectly sarcastic conversation!! ha ha ha ha....if only i could have the same kinda relationship with all the people calling me up, asking if i want loans!!
And who can really get you point? We all pretend to, don't we? I mean, you too would go a head-scratching "what was i thinking?" five years from now!
[dreamcatcher]
Cynics and SmartAlecs...ask for one get a million.
But WHy on earth wd u ask?
[bullshee]
Sarcasm is an art, though the post is fictitiouc and hence wishful thinking only. :P
[akshay]
eh? What?
Confuse mat kiya kar
Actually five yrs from now i'd only laugh...reading old stuff always makes me laugh..n the things i wrote 5 yrs ago, today they're downright hilarious.
Well they may be hilarious to you, considering they were commendable and impressive stepping-stones to your exemplary writing skills. But when I read my past work, I get downright embarrassed! Like I just fished out two "sci-fi" stories from somewhere. It was eye-poppingly mortifying!
arbit bt mast hai
y dont u invest in kailash mess,....will fetch u a lott:P:P
[akshay]
Take the positives out of it (and read it alone, to avoid embarrasment). Imagination and articulation grows and develops with age/experience. Admire the distance you've come, and smile at the silliness. That's the whole point.
You know, I used to write daily diary. All those things i penned in 7th or 8th look so obscenely funny now :P
[neha]
:P
mess ki yaad na dila be.
I had penned in a filled a diary in class 9th. Still ashamed of it. but good tip *tee hee* "read it alone"!
But I don't think you'd be ashamed of yourself later. You've already surpassed publication standards (swear not polishing)
Kahan yar..all I've ever been published is in all those campus/hostel magazines (and u know their std) and one article in JAM. Not that I tried elsewhere, but I'm still too much of an amateur.
Look at it this way: if Chetan Bhagat can get published, so can you!
I didn't know you are married.
[akshay]
What a benchmark!
Ah well, okay my novel would be ready before a yr...find me a publisher, will you? :)
[johney]
Fictitious, honey, fictitious. I am crazy, but not THAT crazy
Right on!! And I'll also (seriously) find a beta or something who would go through the grammatical errors once it's done. All in exchange for a tip: how to avoid writer's blocks and laziness when working on a full length novel??
Grammatical erros i can handle alone, i'd just need to outsource proof reading for plot consistency and interest level to some good critic.
The tip...ah well..it's a tough one. I cant handle it too well myself, but someday i'd tell u what i know, face to face
Grammatical mein the part involving the commas and hyphens really bungles me so I always need a grammar beta before posting a chapter on MuggleNet. Critics...they are brutally honest and scary, but necessary evils. I really would love to talk to you about this subject, though will try my hand at novellas before!
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