Adapting to change is easier said than done. The more difficult part is when change is unanticipated, subtle and steady or unadjusted for. People change with time, and times change themselves. That makes it a lot of variables to handle calculations of and not make an error. And that is when you encounter the fact you always knew anyways, that life is not about calculations, and cannot be lived that way.
I live on a "feeling" and a faith, and it works most of the time. Sometimes, it backfires. Sometimes, the faith is blind. On the whole, still, perhaps, it's a gamble worth taking, but boy o' boy when you wake up and realise how much Ground Zero differs from expectations, that is one rude wake up call.
This summers, or just before it started, I counted a handful of people that really mattered, and that I thought I could rely on. One of them was really close while distant, but seems to have been lost now in preoximity. Unrecognisably lost. Why didn't I think of this change?
Another fought and left for a lot of time, all the time making me cry and grieve and finally when he returned, neither him nor me perhaps are the same for each other any more. We are not the same friends, perhaps can never be. Why didn't I think of this change?
A third, a really important third, is there, yet not there. The times between us have changed so much that something very important somwhere is gradually disappearing, despite our trying for it not to happen. I knew this would happen, I knew we would try, but I didn't think time wouldn't even allow us to try hard enough. And something within would change. Why didn't I think of this change?
A fourth has retreated from being an overwhelming part of my existence to an equally caring yet latent periphery, despite no change in coordinates, except inside maybe. I thought times here were keeping constant, but now I wonder why didn't I think of this change?
One more left, and with that person the change on the whole is only anticipated/nice, but even forseeably it won't last too much. Maybe it would suck even more then, because of current niceties. I shouldn't maybe have let the current niceties happen. Oh God,why didn't I think of this change?
Okay, I guess it's impossible for anyone to think of everything beforehand. Not everything's in my control, though some of this is blatantly foolish on my part. Yes, times have changed. Yes, you and you and you are not here, and wouldn't be, any more.
Change happens, kiddo. Just deal with it.
Smile. Come what may.
17 comments:
I wonder.
It happens all d time.Just when we think that life is sailing smoothly,a wave of change comes and rocks it back into reality.
It is not change that we fear,but it is the "unknown" that we fear.
The best way of dealing with change was given as an advice to Anakin skywalker by Master yoda--
"Attachment leads to jealousy,the shadow of greed that is,....train yourself to let go of everything you fear to loose."
your venerable zeroth commandment never sounded more hollow, but indeed people change so do we.
It is only that the blame is always conveniently lain at others' doors while sometimes we ourselves play an irrefutable part in this whole growing apart thing, care to agree a bit :)
no offence, just being cynically philosophical :|
[doc]
I dont
[the fake engineer]
Thanks buddy. I should have remembered attachment, love, expectation etc are all synonyms for doom ;)
[catalyst]
For once you want me to agree, and for once I do to, completely. It's not cynicism really, it's the basic fact. I'm not blaming any one in particular, in fact if it's anyone's fault it's mine. I've slipped up, just that I didn't want it to happen. If at all I'm blaming anything it's dear old Time, simply because it's convenient to, and my own inability to anticipate/adapt. Or deal with it.
Who cares about who what why, it just hurts anyway. And to cope up, one has to resort to the zeroth commandment :)
Times change, people change, we change. the best is not to have any expectations from the people around you no matter if He / She is ur best friend, everybody has an individuality and should be accepted that way. After college a lot of things change .....
There have been instances when I thought that I wont do "X" thing ever in my life or I wont be in such a situation ever in my life, but sometimes just in a matter of a week life takes a complete "U" turn, and we end up doing what we always used to think that we wont!
So just give it a break and if people change try this.... I know this is difficult and unpractical but I tried to implement this, "DONT EXPECT" because when you start doing that the problem starts.....
Shantanu
you have a wonderfully sensible head :P (cant keep myself from repeating it at times ;) ) but this theme is the most recurrent among your posts, and as usual i have some obnoxious theories :P
take care.
All change is nt gud .. but it does have some hidden meanings or consequences fr that matter ..
we readily say .. all is well if it ends well .. bt I guess one tends to forget the pain the one goes through in the middle ..
well .. all I can say is .. hang on there gal .. soon d day wud come .. whn u wud b all cheerful n happy again .. nd may b the changes wont trouble u thn .. or thy might b lost in some corner of ur memoirs ..
tc :)
cheese
"change is unanticipated, subtle and steady or unadjusted for"
.....change is always this only..any thing other would be just transition..and that's simpler
"Why didn't I think of this change?"
....you already think a lot dear :P
i have changed the url of my blog its http://thefakeengineer.blogspot.com
--Azeem
oh I forgot to drop in this comment:
My comment would definitely remind you of the Reliance ad of "Phokat ki advice"
so this was my "Phokat ki advice"
Shantanu
your posts lately reflect a volatile phase of fervent activity of emotions. Probably and hopefully your writing helps you sort out ... TC
maybe change is relative...keep up ! :)
[catalyst]
I think I have the most twisted head possible with a lot of things just thrown in.I write what I feel, so it's not hard to see patterns, but do share with me your bnoxious theories in detail. Sometimes they help.
[shantanu]
Thanks for the "phokat ki advice". Bol India bol... ;)
Youre right waise, it;s best not to have any expectations, however it's not an easy thing to do. I always tend to trust, and I always tend to have it broken, and I always promise I wont do it again, but you know it's such a vicious circle.
Expect nothing from others, everything from yourself. It's as simple as you please :)
[anuj]
I'm happy I'm cheerful I'm all that...things hurt neverheless and i;m struggling to deal with all that...sometimes ppl u cant even think in ur dreams would do that back out on u just when u need them. That hits before u start getting used to it. More work seems to be my only solution.
[oracle]
It;s a phase it's a phase, and it's getting painfully long now, and I'm losing too many things in the process, including all the faith that really mattered. I can see where all this is going though, and I can forsee this blog get a little more morose before stabilising, or vanishing. huh.
[forlon farceur]
Everything is relative. It's all me, you know. Its all me.
[desperado]
Who said transitions are simpler? The other side of transition is a painful semi-permeance that sucks more than anything else because its not going anywhere! This is what it is. It sucks.
twisted head..........that's one honour you fervently gaurd for yourself :) i dont know why!
my theories are always doled out a-dime-a-dozen :P so if and when i get to meet you, i would enlighten your 'twisted head'. but certainly in your case, choice and chance play their part to perfection :)
Yes change happens, and is sometimes good. Stop and think about how you might have changed for those people
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