Different Strokes

Oh yes, I've been missing too long on this blog and elsewhere in this world, and I guess there is no one satisfactory reason for it. I just have been missing. I just haven't known what to write. I just haven't written even when I could and I wanted to. A weird kind of a withdrawal perhaps, for I just didn't feel like even reading or replying to comments on the previous post. I doesn't mean that I've been sad or disturbed of course. Not for the most part. In all senses, it's been perfectly normal with a blend of a thousand different things, just like life.

The last post I had written in the middle of Rendezvous. It was good, it was weird, it was elated, it was disturbing, it was refreshing, it as depressing and it was just the same again. In simpler words, it felt largely weird because for the first time I wasn't doing anything as such and was only watching and participating(won a couple of events too :) ). Had no company, or fixed company for the most part, and the feeling of loneliness in huge OAT crowds scares me so much I didn't even go there save once. Did end up judging Mr and Miss Rendezvous, so that was fun :P
After that it has been back to the usual grind, more or less. Acads are messing me up now, for I've loads to cover up in each course and just can't get in the zone while submissions continue to pile up. Also, get tired too easily these days, something is terribly wrong with the body; the energy is largely missing.

Extra curriculars can be fun and irritation equally too. Inter hostel events in IIT are getting worse by the day, and not in small measure due to over zealous competitiveness by some hostels that sucks the fun out of everything. Just why doesn't the atmosphere in IITD let us relax? Reducing the number of events to reduce load seems to have partly backfired in the sense people have decided to compensate with much-increased intensities, and thus nothing is trivial any more. At times, it doesn't even feel human.

People around me are also messing me up these days, which is to say all sorts of things are happening all the time which adds up to loads of confusion and stress. Someone I barely know is in love with me, someone who knows me too well to know I'm not interested is also in love with me, some people have tonnes of issues with me which they dont want to confront with yet cannt hide, others keep fighting on one pretext or the other, some people want loads of answers from me, some people just silently leave me with questions to fight with, some people I care for are hell bent on complicating their own lives in the stupidest manner possible and that gives me headaches no less, while cruel bosses and demanding subordinates suck the patience out of me. Someone else complains I've too little time to spare, while someone I'd love to spend some peaceful time with doesn't have any. And then there are those who think it's best to leave me alone with my life(?) when they know fully well I can't survive without them.

The number of variables in life has increased so much who can blame me if I get fickle. Or if I feel really lonely and unheard in the midst of a crowd. Or if I don't blog because my emotions change across the spectrum too often for me to write anything.

I know you all think of me as psychotic, definitely now if not already. I also think I probably aim. Difficult and psychotic. But the one thing life surely is, is interesting.

I hope and pray people around me get back to normal, that I can do my work right, and that someone, at least someone really trusts me. IS that too much to ask?

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On a lighter note, watched Loins of Punjab recently. Awesome movie. Mast watch, must watch :)