An episode in a book, a conversation, a blog-post I read somewhere and a Scrubs episode have all got me thinking over the same thing...relationships. Between two people. And how hard are they. Given all the crap in the social science textbooks that said man is a social animal is true, how hard is it anyway for two people to harmoniously get along all the time. Especially romantic relationships you know, none of them work like they do in movies...two people magically right for each other get together and live happily ever after. There are no forevers in real life.
There is a little competition, a little annoyance, a little adjustment and a little grief in every relationship. And a lot of argument, especially if you're close. Be it your relationship with your siblings, your mother or your wife. It cannot be always hunky-dory, and so often, so so often, inspite of all the love and care we may still have at some levels for the other person, it becomes so hard to live with them all the time and adjust to suit them. It becomes so hard so often in so many relationships to just...see the other side.
And that's why, there's always a little envy involved when you see someone so close to his/her mother or sister he/she could practically share anything with them. That's why there's that pang when you see a couple happy, and then look at yourself. Why do people get together? Perhaps because they can never complete themselves alone, and everyone needs someone to share little moments with, someone to cry to and someone to be reassured by. I have these two friends, a wonderful couple, and here's what the girl says why she loves him...He makes me feel completely safe and totally independent at the same time. He never runs away when I need reassurance. He seems to like me for who I am. I love him.
Touchwood.
You know, couples that are truly right for each other go through the same crap as everybody else, but they don't let it take them down. One of those 2 people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time if it's right and they're real lucky. One of them will say something and hold on for both of them, with his/her strength...till both of them find something to believe in.
Otherwise, relationships are so fragile, it just takes one tiny little thing and it can snowball on you, and if that snowball starts to pick up speed God forbid...the shine's off the apple.
Relationships, when they're right and strong, they get easy even if things get hard once in a while. And they end up teaching you a lot of patience, and a lot of humility. I just wish people gave more unconditionally than they do right now. That things weren't based so much on give-n-take. That one could be nice and one could accept someone being nice just like that, without a 'reason'. As doc puts it, I wish people would pay it forward. :)
There is a little competition, a little annoyance, a little adjustment and a little grief in every relationship. And a lot of argument, especially if you're close. Be it your relationship with your siblings, your mother or your wife. It cannot be always hunky-dory, and so often, so so often, inspite of all the love and care we may still have at some levels for the other person, it becomes so hard to live with them all the time and adjust to suit them. It becomes so hard so often in so many relationships to just...see the other side.
And that's why, there's always a little envy involved when you see someone so close to his/her mother or sister he/she could practically share anything with them. That's why there's that pang when you see a couple happy, and then look at yourself. Why do people get together? Perhaps because they can never complete themselves alone, and everyone needs someone to share little moments with, someone to cry to and someone to be reassured by. I have these two friends, a wonderful couple, and here's what the girl says why she loves him...He makes me feel completely safe and totally independent at the same time. He never runs away when I need reassurance. He seems to like me for who I am. I love him.
Touchwood.
You know, couples that are truly right for each other go through the same crap as everybody else, but they don't let it take them down. One of those 2 people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time if it's right and they're real lucky. One of them will say something and hold on for both of them, with his/her strength...till both of them find something to believe in.
Otherwise, relationships are so fragile, it just takes one tiny little thing and it can snowball on you, and if that snowball starts to pick up speed God forbid...the shine's off the apple.
Relationships, when they're right and strong, they get easy even if things get hard once in a while. And they end up teaching you a lot of patience, and a lot of humility. I just wish people gave more unconditionally than they do right now. That things weren't based so much on give-n-take. That one could be nice and one could accept someone being nice just like that, without a 'reason'. As doc puts it, I wish people would pay it forward. :)
21 comments:
yes..i am in Love....and though its not perfect...but i cant live without him...!!!! :D
A perfect relationship is alwayz boring......
[rushme]
:-)
Then you'd know what I mean!
Touchwood :)
[satan]
Perfection is...stagnation....sucks. :)
hmmm...interesting.. :)
to me, perfect s a word that never existed...just in dictionary n thesaurus..
I think life's less complicated when one's single. Like Jeya says perfect is a word that doesn't exist.
And that friend of your's is really lucky. Touchwood!!!
:-)
As you said...it becomes so difficult to see the other side. And then there's the love vs. relationship confusion. Sometimes they run totally opposite. Love is a feeling, and a relationship is a desire. Or maybe, love is a big hoax, and relationships are all there is. Answers answers where are they!
Reading through your post, every time i would begin to say something, the next line would be just that.
I think the thought process and the flow is exactly the way i feel about it. and i think you are very right.
good to see ur blog back
This is what i think is true for relationships too. Even if you are very angry, don't put a full stop. Put a comma so that someday sometime it can be back/complete again.
[jeya anand]
Yeah, perfect has always been elusive I guess, and should be too, methinks. It gives you the illusion of a goal to work for, smthng that allows u not to be all content n disillusioned so you'd give up trying.
And vis-vis relationships, as I said, none are perfect, but the ones that are good n strong weather through storms. People, atleast, could be perect for each other.
[realistic me]
Life's less complicated by a fair margin, and less interesting too. I mean love is a good daily drama-dosage...like an exercise for your emotions, sensitivity and humility. :P
Yep, my friend's lucky. :) God bless...
[vibhav]
You put it right, my friend, when u say love vs relationship is a bigg confusion. You know, love is spontaneous but relationships need so much consistent effort they're almost unnatural. That is why relationships break down much easier than disappearance of love. I don't know what's a hoax, but I damn well know our desires aren't really what we think they are!
[poison coated elixir]
:)
Happens, sometimes. Life is funny. :)
[voice]
Good to see you back. It's not always so easy to put commas you know, time wont stop n wd create big dirty holes that weaken foundation if everything. Infact, time I think, is the single biggest factor that dictates how things between two people shape up and move. Time...
a)I have no clue where my earlier comment disappeared
b)I don't know why no one believes in perfect relations..there are many around us..atleast around me....perfect not meaning everything hunky dory..but perfect where there is always love and trust and which stands test of time...there are...many...that for me is a perfect relationship..and for me relationship is the most natural culmination of love :)
[desperado]
a) I have no clue. Maybe it didn't get saved.
b) I'm still laughing at a "relationship is the most natural culmination of love."
:)
Its over rated, perfection is.
relationships are boundaries,you cant escape.you run over those walls only to see a brighter wall!
hail walls! :D
That's a giant leap forward- from matrimonial to Delhi Times columns :P
(But, from the third last paragraph onwards, it was a fresh change from what newspapers dish out.)
And obviously, DT-wallahs don't have friends who can come up with such apt phrases as 'pay it forward'. I really liked it.
[dreamcatcher]
Oh yeah...like a LOT of things... :)
[purple deepens]
But they don't so much conceal as bind...they are not jails (i hope) where you are the poor convict. They're way more fragile, methinks.
[Vik]
Okay, go ahead, call me names. I'd see how far down u can take me. I like the newspaper types too, u know (though TOI sucks) so I shall write what I please. :) Besides, this means at least there's some job I'd get!!!
I like the phrase too..the idea...it's refreshing.
beautifully written Phoenix.
**Why do people get together? Perhaps because they can never complete themselves alone, and everyone needs someone to share little moments with, someone to cry to and someone to be reassured by.
Spot on!
R'ships r hard cos dealing with our own selves is very hard, so dealing with another is added responsibility and hard work :) But then again we r not designed to be alone, so we cant do without r'ships too.
I like this post...an eye-opener too.
tnxx!
Keshi.
[vik]
:D
[keshi]
Thanks sweetheart.
It is hard hard work for sure...one of those things u cant live with or without...
:)
its not doc's line...he saw the same movie that i saw !!!!! not fair !!!! i also practice it !!!!! :'(
I watch a movie yesterday. It was a fairy tale movie
I love fairy tales. Because it is so different from real life.
Happily ever after. lol
Things like that does not exist here.
Long ago I came to the conclusion that there is so such thing as love.
Romantic Love.
It is all garbage.
[aditya]
Just a reference of a conversation, an adaptation of the phrase :)
[johney]
Easy to say than to remember.
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