The air was still. The heat didn't burn, but stifled with its humidity. I looked around. Everything seemed lifeless, inanimate. There was no movement, no noise. I began to walk.
Long walks have a cathartic quality; the mind races randomly in different directions, with different thoughts forming, colliding, bouncing, dying every instant. I like thinking nothing. After a while it put me in such a calm mood I began to hum a tune, an old favorite, as I walked. A cloud from nowhere drifted towards the sun's face.
And slowly I re-learnt several things I had forgotten, or overlooked. And slowly I realized, analyzed, rejected and accepted facts I should never have forgotten, or overlooked. A little breeze began to flow. A flight of pigeons were being noisy. Somehow, as I looked at them, the following lines came to mind: It's your problem. Above all, I just want to be happy now. I just want to fly free. I can survive, hopefully, so can you.
It was unconnected, I know. The breeze had turned into a wind. We are who we are, and where we are, because of the choices we make, and choose not to make, as we move along. I realized my choices, and understood they didn't match with all my expectations and needs, but they were consistent with the most important ones of those.
Some limits we don't set, because we can't. Some limits we never push away, because they keep us safe in bounds. And the rest of them, we just keep pushing at to test ourselves, and they keep shifting, we keep winning, we keep trying. I knew, if and when it gets difficult, I wouldn't quit. And you will fly. Finally, I smiled.
Some times, things trivial for most of the world are everything for somebody. With the thunder the things that meant the most to me shone at me in their apparent insignificance.
And then it rained. :-)
Long walks have a cathartic quality; the mind races randomly in different directions, with different thoughts forming, colliding, bouncing, dying every instant. I like thinking nothing. After a while it put me in such a calm mood I began to hum a tune, an old favorite, as I walked. A cloud from nowhere drifted towards the sun's face.
And slowly I re-learnt several things I had forgotten, or overlooked. And slowly I realized, analyzed, rejected and accepted facts I should never have forgotten, or overlooked. A little breeze began to flow. A flight of pigeons were being noisy. Somehow, as I looked at them, the following lines came to mind: It's your problem. Above all, I just want to be happy now. I just want to fly free. I can survive, hopefully, so can you.
It was unconnected, I know. The breeze had turned into a wind. We are who we are, and where we are, because of the choices we make, and choose not to make, as we move along. I realized my choices, and understood they didn't match with all my expectations and needs, but they were consistent with the most important ones of those.
Some limits we don't set, because we can't. Some limits we never push away, because they keep us safe in bounds. And the rest of them, we just keep pushing at to test ourselves, and they keep shifting, we keep winning, we keep trying. I knew, if and when it gets difficult, I wouldn't quit. And you will fly. Finally, I smiled.
Some times, things trivial for most of the world are everything for somebody. With the thunder the things that meant the most to me shone at me in their apparent insignificance.
And then it rained. :-)
18 comments:
:) I so agree! and I can so relate to it esp at this phase of my life!!Yaar u will always remain one of my favourite writers! Hamesha!
The post itself has a cathartic quality, even for the reader, at least from the "I" perspective, with the coherence of the weather with the situation inside. With every such post, I wait more impatiently for your book!! Waise it's ok, no hurry, take your time, but don't abandon the idea altogether ever!
Sahi yaar, Phoenix's metaphors control weather!
Yaar can you do that again? I just love the un-Delhi climate that day!! ;)
When you'd write a book, I won't make a list of excerpts I found awesome (that would be too too long), but only of those which I felt could be refined ('coz that would be a very short one); like here it's the third paragraph :)
So can I be sure that I'm one of the guys who'd get a copy even before it goes in print? :P
simply refreshing... i must say, you have surprised me here, on my first visit to your blog
[yashshri]
Thanks yaar..if not for people like you who read with enthusiasm like that I'd probably stop writing. Take care babes..
[vibhav]
I actually needed your opinion on that thing...I wanted to write the book completely in first person, because I think it's easier for me to flow than third person writing.
Though I'm not sure if I'd ever be able to write.
[akshay]
:P
It happened again, tonight, didnt it...almst is a similar setting, in another long walk.
[vik]
Thanks...if you want to, you will.
you'd always remain one of my favprite n cherished critics though.
as for this post, there are several lines, words, expressions that I wanted to change when I finished it, but as a rule I never 'edit' my posts...they're all impromptu so I letit be.
I dont like the flow in the third pgh to the beginning of the fourth, end of 2nd and end of fifth.
well, watever.
[ankit sagwal]
thanks, i can only hope it was a pleasant surprise, and that it won't be your last visit :)
beautiful...and so true..I believe the crux of life lies in challenging whatever boundaries, fears we have!!!
you truly are a voice inside... only that you put the thought more beautifully...
i enjoy reading your posts...
...and then it rained again :)
At times, it takes more than one reading to understand your posts but it is always worth it.
will wait for your book to be published
btw, I also read with enthusiasm ... so don't stop writing :)
so true about long walks, i love them.
rain even more so :)
just keep writing ..keep writing..and write the book
even a collection of some of ur posts wuld make for a grt reading
Life always want was to go thru all these
and it is amazing how u correlated it with rain and thunder
loved reading ur post
i really had nice time reading the post
i am also going out in these days in gurgaon and really felt something like this. the only difference is you expresed it wonderfully.
[rahul]
Exactly. I have this stubborn habit of facing my fears, sometimes bringing them upon me just so I can face them and so that they stop scaring me afterward. Whatever doesn't kill you, leaves you stronger.
[concocting life]
thank you very much. It's a stifled muffled voice inside, but I'm glad it is heard in some form, sometimes, somewhere.
[anand]
..yes :)
[divesh]
Don't blame you...trust me, too many people read them 4-5 times and still dont get it. But its hard to understand twisted crap :P The only good thing is it becomes open enough for interpretation so ppl can find sm good in it ;) :P
jokes apart, thanks :)
[pooja]
ditto! :) Just found a new lap to do, and it involves a lake. Life is going to be good.
[desperado]
haan haan baba...id die if i dont write at all...id go on and on..
[sayani]
Thank you. The journey is worth it.
[life is good]
:)
thanks
Post a Comment