Interlude-III

The fog was too dense, the night too pensive. Sounds, lights and souls had dimmed in the silence of the all pervasive haze. The grass was moist, the trees like silent guardians of a sleeping, shivering neighborhood. For all she knew, Riya was the only person on the street in that ungodly hour. But she was enjoying the walk, streaming through the fog. Her love for winters increased manifold on nights like these when the freshness of moist night air on her face allowed her not only to escape the suffocating insides of her home but also to, for a while, feel herself protected by the layer of fog inside which she had disappeared from the eyes of the rest of the world, inside which she was free to be herself.

And Riya was happy tonight, even though she did not understand fully the euphoria in her body. She started reflecting upon the events of the past few days. Every brief conversation with her new friend, every stolen moment of eye-contact had been the high point of those days. She'd met Tamas, and felt for him something she'd never felt for anyone before. More importantly, she felt as if now, with him a part of her life, she'd never ever feel lonely again and that maybe, she could forget her past and live happily afterall, maybe she could open herself to someone again. To him. She asked herself if she was falling in love again. Just as she had that thought though, she began to rationalise to herself if she really liked him, and if she could really see herself with him minus the romanticization of reactions created by chemicals in her head. Was she really worth him? Was he worthy of her soul? Was the understanding and affection she feel between them something true and permanent?

Questions like these kept her mind racing, and soon she got exhausted and decided to get back home. As she lay on her bed, then, wanting to get some sleep before the hectic day tomorrow, one final thought occupied her mind. She knew somehow, that the rationalization wasn't going to make a difference to her, that the idea of Tamas gave her a kind of satisfaction and elation that nothing else gave, that she trusted him, and her hope that they can make a life together. She had been through relationships before, but something in her told her it wasn't the same this time, that with Tamas this love and understanding she felt was so complete, so mutual, that she would never be back in the darkness again. That maybe, she could stop being afraid.

She tried to dismiss her overwhelmed emotions for the night since she wanted to make all decisions only with a fresh mind, in the morning. Still, till her last awake moment, she could not dismiss the image of Tamas from her eyes. And when she woke up, no decisions were required to be made, for that image had exploited the interlude of her few hours of sleep to permanently establish itself in ever inch of her existence, as faith, as truth, as trust, as love.