What kind of a place is this? Sweaty, filthy, lecherous creatures everywhere!! Is this the stuff this city is made of? Do they have no shame? Everywhere I go, I get stared. I can feel it, gazes piercing right through me. Do I even belong here, on the outside? Should I stare back? Will that stop them, or make them come after me?
Oh no, him again! This is the sixth consecutive day, and there he is, at the exact same spot at the exact same time, standing aimlessly, just looking at me. Ogling, rather. And I must admit, in clean clothes today. Would have been cute on someone more human...
Oh-my-God is he trying to touch himself staring at me? Goddammit, I need to break this eye contact. Shit! Why is 100 feet such a long distance that it takes forever to walk through? Especially in my 2k heels. Why is this the only possible way to get inside this place that is otherwise heaven for it houses my God every day for a few minutes? Oh my, A, the things I do for you! For you, I am willing to even live through this humiliation everyday. And the constant teasing of B and N. I just hope the money I stole from N for looking exactly like your Park Avenue types girl is not discovered. The bitch has too much of it anyway. Oh God if she got to know...but see A, you're worth much more than a friend like her to me. Just look at me today ok!
Damn I wish I could come through the front door acting like a mademoiselle like her who you run after. Look at me, I look prettier than that bitch. Brown eyes are better than hazel eyes, and I'm even curvier than her. Oh please, look at me. Once! Oh shit my shoes, this whole under-construction backdoor path is so dusty. I wish I had another option to make you see me, to get inside of your sole. The only thing dirtier is those illiterate construction workers, swarming like insects, dreaming of shinier things. Ha! Ewww...I just remembered him and his stares. He disgusts me!
Ok, my shoes are prim now...honey, sweety, look at me. I and not her deserves to walk by your side from the front door, like your princess. And your slave!! What would I not do for my love...you're so perfect, the man of my dreams. Why am I still so invisible to you, I look just the same as your-types! Not as fair, this fairness cream is taking too much time to work, but still beautiful to you, no. Oh please please please say yes. Five days, five fleeting glances, please look at me today. Please make me mine. You're the most amazing, the bestest guy I've ever seen. Please say you like me too. Please say you love me like I love you. Not hearing it from you, not seeing it in your eyes is killing me.
Oh now the thought of you is making me horny. Ten feet, that's all the distance between us. I want the distance to dissolve, this ten feet, your money and my middle-class mediocrity, your glamour and my invisibility. I want us to dissolve within each other. I want you inside me. What a perfect body you have! Shit I'm wet already. Fuck me, oh please. Feel me A, here press my boob just like this.
You saw! Oh A A A A....these eyes of yours I wanna just...
Hey why did you take your gaze away...hey where are you going...I know you saw me, I know you want me just as bad...come back. Please don't leave me so...incomplete, so unsatisfied.
Shit! You're gone for today aren't you...but no problem, I saw that sparkle in your eyes. You saw me, and you know it too. Admit it, we belong together. I'd be back tomorrow.
Someday, I just know this, someday, you'd be at my knees saying every word I wanna hear and loving every bit of me. Someday, honey, you'd be mine. I'd be inside your world and you'd be inside me.
On a side not, amazingly, the path feels much shorter while walking back and I never notice a single of those ubiquitous worker types.
Oh no, him again! This is the sixth consecutive day, and there he is, at the exact same spot at the exact same time, standing aimlessly, just looking at me. Ogling, rather. And I must admit, in clean clothes today. Would have been cute on someone more human...
Oh-my-God is he trying to touch himself staring at me? Goddammit, I need to break this eye contact. Shit! Why is 100 feet such a long distance that it takes forever to walk through? Especially in my 2k heels. Why is this the only possible way to get inside this place that is otherwise heaven for it houses my God every day for a few minutes? Oh my, A, the things I do for you! For you, I am willing to even live through this humiliation everyday. And the constant teasing of B and N. I just hope the money I stole from N for looking exactly like your Park Avenue types girl is not discovered. The bitch has too much of it anyway. Oh God if she got to know...but see A, you're worth much more than a friend like her to me. Just look at me today ok!
Damn I wish I could come through the front door acting like a mademoiselle like her who you run after. Look at me, I look prettier than that bitch. Brown eyes are better than hazel eyes, and I'm even curvier than her. Oh please, look at me. Once! Oh shit my shoes, this whole under-construction backdoor path is so dusty. I wish I had another option to make you see me, to get inside of your sole. The only thing dirtier is those illiterate construction workers, swarming like insects, dreaming of shinier things. Ha! Ewww...I just remembered him and his stares. He disgusts me!
Ok, my shoes are prim now...honey, sweety, look at me. I and not her deserves to walk by your side from the front door, like your princess. And your slave!! What would I not do for my love...you're so perfect, the man of my dreams. Why am I still so invisible to you, I look just the same as your-types! Not as fair, this fairness cream is taking too much time to work, but still beautiful to you, no. Oh please please please say yes. Five days, five fleeting glances, please look at me today. Please make me mine. You're the most amazing, the bestest guy I've ever seen. Please say you like me too. Please say you love me like I love you. Not hearing it from you, not seeing it in your eyes is killing me.
Oh now the thought of you is making me horny. Ten feet, that's all the distance between us. I want the distance to dissolve, this ten feet, your money and my middle-class mediocrity, your glamour and my invisibility. I want us to dissolve within each other. I want you inside me. What a perfect body you have! Shit I'm wet already. Fuck me, oh please. Feel me A, here press my boob just like this.
You saw! Oh A A A A....these eyes of yours I wanna just...
Hey why did you take your gaze away...hey where are you going...I know you saw me, I know you want me just as bad...come back. Please don't leave me so...incomplete, so unsatisfied.
Shit! You're gone for today aren't you...but no problem, I saw that sparkle in your eyes. You saw me, and you know it too. Admit it, we belong together. I'd be back tomorrow.
Someday, I just know this, someday, you'd be at my knees saying every word I wanna hear and loving every bit of me. Someday, honey, you'd be mine. I'd be inside your world and you'd be inside me.
On a side not, amazingly, the path feels much shorter while walking back and I never notice a single of those ubiquitous worker types.
17 comments:
GOD you look so normal on the outside :P
... and then you come up with something like this!
(the whole comment didn't get posted the last time)
very unusual but good :)
and i am so much with doc here...you look so normal on the outside :P
Good!
[doc, zapper]
Oh cmon you know me well enough to know that irrespective of what i look on the outside, I am anything but normal. :P
[zapper, shantanu]
Thanks ;) :)
Ayn Rand reinvented!
Though somehow with this and with Ayn Rand's portrayal of woman.. I can never come at terms with
If you just put all the letters of the English alphabet in any random order you like, I bet even that will be a pleasure to read. And that's only the 'style' part of your writing!
Fantastic piece of writing :-) and to some extent so true..girls sometimes are so blinded by love that everything else ceases to exist!!!
sometimes i think how can someone give up all their self respect ego or whtever in love...how can one reach that level that you are ready to do anything...but i have seen people who have hurt themselves just to see the other smile..
oh and what a piece.... you seriously should write a book..how many times have i said that to you :)
Agree with the comments above; its unusual.
A wee bit aggressive but it was a good read. Really good! :)
That sure was some writing!and yes it was wild too:D
love does make one go blind eh?:D or is it that love IS blind?any which way it IS a rambling route on the best of days..
PS:-you should write a book :)
wow...!
ummm...WOOWW!
wow wow wow...!
(im lost for words..so ill just go on with more "wows")
wow...woowww!!
:-)
[distantcords]
wow i never thought this could be reminiscent of ayn rand's portrayals while writing it, but guess it shares the brutality :)
As far as coming to terms with it, the brutality exists because it is meant to shock. Unusual is the word for the piece, but unreal?
[raja]
Whoa ment!!!!
That was quite something. With encouragement like that, I'd be on seventh heaven...don't spoil me! :x
But coming from you, it means a lot that you can still read my words. Thanks :)
[Smita]
Why just girls...love can be awfully blinding, and blissful :) This piece attempts to draw a mirror at some level between the protagonist and another fringe character, barely noticeable in the given frame of reference. And that alone says something about reality and existence. :)
[desperado]
Plenty of times, actually. But I still dont believe the allegation. I dont have enough words to fill a book :)
As for love, the question of giving up everything seems incredible and impossible when you sit to reason it out, but then where is the space for rationale and reason in all-consuming love. In fact, one of the biggest strengths of love per se is it's power to make us trust enough to lower our guard entirely and abandon our ego (yet not self respect)for the sake of the object of our affection. Makes us accept our mistakes, makes us less selfish and better humans.
Difficult to conceive, rare to perceive, but possible nonetheless.
[munnu]
Thank you. Aggression isn't all bad, being pushed on the defensive can sometimes make you question your assumptions and know reality better.
[indyeah]
Glad that you like it. The violence of passion, whether or not love, is the one thing I wanted to bring out with the piece. Love, well, hard to say what it really is. But it can make us do the impossible.
[Prasad]
Ah, thanks I guess. At least u like it, apparently :)
wow! interesting I must say.... and agree with doc.... u look so normal on the outside :P
It reminded me of a friend of mine!
But its shows your good imagination to be you and still write this :P
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