Sidenote

When I hear myself sometimes
the apathy does surprise me
but not for long, no -
it doesn't really make a difference
and it's sometimes anyway
Let's just go with the flow.

Temptation...

...is there a way to fight?
Other than listen to Mr Wilde?

The allure of the charming, the resistance of the pure.
Bend, break, survive, endure?

Life is on vacation mode, stepping back from running too fast
It sighs and wonders about the question it seeks to ask.

Why we the way we are, and what are we tempted to become?


**********************************************************************************

The nicest are those that smile, and the most dangerous as well.
But those really far apart, are the ones I miss like hell.

Single, in another city :)

:)

So, I'm in Malaysia for this week. Landed here in KL yesterday morning and spent an insane highly sleep-deprived highly fun day (after the sleepless week just past). And today a few of us slipped and skidded in a tropical waterfall cum jungle. Feels good to escape the work routine, if only for this one week training (there's still some work to be done by the side, but much easier to be unreachable here :))

Long day tomorrow. Meanwhile, think up a wishlist that I can get you from here !! :)

Will be back with stories soon. This city is cool. Could have been more romantic though. If only.... ;)

...

It's just been one of those days where nothing went right. Except I got to sleep in an hour or so extra because my work was tied up to a client meeting in the afternoon.
Everything else, has pretty much gone the difficult way. Not horrible, yet, but difficult and painful.
And I just can't think straight right now, with a mountain of work in front of me. Work that I barely understand and deadlines that are likely to leave me dead, literally.
I still can't work.

Pardon the cribbing, but more and more these days, I get the feeling this life is not worth living. Despite the job, the city, the people, the love, the hate, the dreams, the pain - all highs and lows budgeted in - there's no point in existing. It's like an NPV negative investment, my life.

For once it's not the drama queen throwing out words. It's just something I can't explain anymore. Or have the guts to face.

Caught in a time-wrap

What is the deal with time? Either it does not move, or it flies.
Right now, the weekend that went feels like it was about two or three hours at most. And at the same time, last week and the last post feel a year ago.
Indeed, I was in Delhi little over 24 hours ago (for the weekend - campus recruitment work, etc ) and even that feels like at least last week. Damn it, I miss it (and all the people there) already!

Just what is the deal? Is it this city or this job? Or is it me? Am I aging 10x quick and on track to become old and wrinkly and fat and ugly?

Sigh...but on a lighter note, I have much better questions to ask. Like why are there so many rich people in (certain parts of) Mumbai. It's almost obscene, in the middle of the slums. And the kind of things these people buy. So you know, one day, I braved myself to try some shopping (really needed some clothes, otherwise, shopping is the boringest activity ever for me) and spent what felt like half a day (~45 mins) looking at stuff that I wonder who buys (esp at that price) and then another hour to pick up some stuff at fabindia/pantaloons that I could fit into. Seriously dislike shopping, esp alone (unlike my very girly and pinky boss (:P) who goes shopping...oooh..new stuff...wowwww types ) :D

This weekend, as I said, I was in cool, hazy delhi for work+fun. It didnt feel alone at all, though the public transport sucks in comparison to mumbai. I hate my company for making me shift here.
And making me shop alone.
Among other things.

Like missing living where the heart is.

Single in the city: The gutsy and the have-nots

As I frusta-o-ed yet another time sometime recently how suddenly everyone around seems to be getting married - it's especially freaky when your batchmates and even juniors start announcing wedding dates/ borth of their kids - my friend just said, they're not crazy, just lucky. They have figured out who they want to spend their lives with before everyone else.

I conceded the point. People who found the right people for them, and the courage to back their heart's instincts and take the "leap", they're worth being jealous of.

Maybe.

Single in the City

Yes, I'm back.
A million apologies are due for this prolonged absence from this page, rather, from blogosphere. You can blame this new job for the most part which did not leave much time, and more importantly, any energy to come up with something suitable enough to go up here. For other than the most part, I accept the blame. I'm just really lazy. Besides time not working is for sleeping. And surviving Mumbai. And discovering Mumbai.
Right?
Wrong. Surviving Mumbai is easier if I share it here. And hence I've decided, I'm going to be more regular on this page (yey!) even if it means boring you and you and you with crap. And for lack of creative insight, I'm going to call it the "Single in the City" series.
Once in a while though, regular stuff will keep pouring in and out.

Deal? Thumbs up? Let me know.

For now, for this one post, let me assume it's a better idea than nothing, and getting everything from requests to pleas to orders to threats about updating the blog! :)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Among the things that I really love about this city, is how nobody ever stares at you. Unless they're tourists from Delhi. You get the picture? You can walk down the street, alone in the middle of night, or hand in hand with your boyfriend, or in skimpy clothes at 1 am, or with a bunch of noisy friends and almost nobody will ever turn or stare back at you.

Maybe people just don't have the time - this city moves so fast, everyone is always in a hurry to get somewhere. Maybe nobody really cares - in a city of 2 crore people and way too many celebrities, you're well and truly a nobody. I don't know. But what I do know, is that this anonymity is fairly liberating. Somebody like me who's lived all her life in a city like Delhi which teaches you to be really conscious and really protective about your surroundings, life in Mumbai feels like a safe, blissful haze. It feels a lot less about you, if you know what I mean.
And hence, even in the mad rush, it gives you a few minutes of space to just step back and reflect, to ask a few questions, and to listen to the silence of the infinite sea and sky.

Spending too much time with yourself, too, is a hazard in a place where you're essentially alone and often lonely. My job tries to compensate with presenting me loads of crazy days where all I do is somehow wake up to get to office, only to come back home post-midnight and crash. And the past week stretched the midnight into early morning a bit too consistently, so it was essentially one long sleep-deprived stretch where the mind refuses to work. Which is good in the sense you're too busy to be bored, too sleepy to be lonely. And you don't have to push hard to find someone to go out and spend time with forcefully at least one day of the weekend, because it's legit to sleep.

But keeping busy is awesome, the breaks throw up interesting thoughts. And for someone like me who prefers skipping the office party to just lying down at the Marine drive for 45 minutes all alone, it's a refresher. And life does start feeling good again, when the woman selling roses on Marine Drive stops by and kindly offers, Chinta mat karo madam. Aapka friend aa jayega, which helps me break into an instant heartfelt laughter.

Yeah, I'd wait. What I'm waiting for, shall come.

:)