It's just been one of those days where nothing went right. Except I got to sleep in an hour or so extra because my work was tied up to a client meeting in the afternoon.
Everything else, has pretty much gone the difficult way. Not horrible, yet, but difficult and painful.
And I just can't think straight right now, with a mountain of work in front of me. Work that I barely understand and deadlines that are likely to leave me dead, literally.
I still can't work.
Pardon the cribbing, but more and more these days, I get the feeling this life is not worth living. Despite the job, the city, the people, the love, the hate, the dreams, the pain - all highs and lows budgeted in - there's no point in existing. It's like an NPV negative investment, my life.
For once it's not the drama queen throwing out words. It's just something I can't explain anymore. Or have the guts to face.
Everything else, has pretty much gone the difficult way. Not horrible, yet, but difficult and painful.
And I just can't think straight right now, with a mountain of work in front of me. Work that I barely understand and deadlines that are likely to leave me dead, literally.
I still can't work.
Pardon the cribbing, but more and more these days, I get the feeling this life is not worth living. Despite the job, the city, the people, the love, the hate, the dreams, the pain - all highs and lows budgeted in - there's no point in existing. It's like an NPV negative investment, my life.
For once it's not the drama queen throwing out words. It's just something I can't explain anymore. Or have the guts to face.
9 comments:
kid, go a little easy on yourself. there are bad harried days and there are good days when you get to enjoy the breeze :)
you got some calculations wrong, or perhaps some underlying assumptions. But of course, a bad investment is merely a great asset invested inappropriately :)
you're the best. hugs.
just when you would have thought i have given up the lectures. Unsolicited as always. :)
sincere apologies.
Don't worry, it could just be PMS :D
Everyone feels that life is not worth living at some point of time - often again and again. Everyone lives.
looks like you are living the life of "Mumbai" .. life in the fast lane
I think there's so much to live for. We learn every second that we exist and that alone is the biggest reason to live. To understand, grasp and learn something new each day. Why not start doing that? At the end of each day make a note of one thing that you learnt in that day...you'll be truly amazed by how wonderful life is :-)
Life may not be worth living. But then it is difficult to define "worth" not least because it is personal and relative. Also, what is the other option? Is death worth trying? Life at-least lets you think whether it is worth living, will death be so merci-ful?
Life, I think, is like democracy. Those who have it are not sure if it is the best for them. Those who don't can't wait to get it.
Why not love someone/something? It's as easy as it sounds, believe me.
who am i to give advice on this.. but hey vodka works for me...;) .. gives some respite :)
hang in there...slowly you will see the larger picture...thts what they all say
hi... used to read your blogs long back when i was in Bombay. Nice to see you around again. Actually don't know how I bumped into your writings again; quite surprising. The world seems to have changed since 2005 :) and ya Bombay is too cool. Its not gonna take much time before u fall in love with the city. trust me :) me in chennai these days. Difficult to live in chennai after Bombay but ya this place has its own pace and things I like. So how is life ? Guess will go through the blog in detail and discover how things are at ur end.
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