The most unexpected of things has happened. Or at least, I am guessing that's what it is.
The chaos in life is back. The sinusoids are back. The random events, random people, freshness, impulse and wide range of emotion within a span of 24 hours - they are all back.
I don't feel comfortably numb any more like I did a few months back - neither of those two, actually. I almost feel like I'm 18 again - in a much different, older, almost-23 kinda way, but I almost feel that craziness of life. Things don't make sense. People seem different and distant., and nobody's close enough to keep me protected, so I can be wild again, wandering around like Brownian motion. New people and random conversations keep appearing every few weeks from nowhere, adding spark to a life that's suddenly started looking highly unlivable every few days . The stress is killing me. The loneliness makes me want to cry. New unexplored adventures make me happy and unleash energy that I have no clue I had. I am making new connections that don't make sense. I am "feeling" love and pain and joy and disappointment, and given that I'm almost 23 and not almost 18 and hence considerably more cognizant (also have significantly less margin of error and license to thrill) it feels different.
The adrenaline is back, don't know where all this is going to lead.
Whichever way, I'm loving it.
The chaos in life is back. The sinusoids are back. The random events, random people, freshness, impulse and wide range of emotion within a span of 24 hours - they are all back.
I don't feel comfortably numb any more like I did a few months back - neither of those two, actually. I almost feel like I'm 18 again - in a much different, older, almost-23 kinda way, but I almost feel that craziness of life. Things don't make sense. People seem different and distant., and nobody's close enough to keep me protected, so I can be wild again, wandering around like Brownian motion. New people and random conversations keep appearing every few weeks from nowhere, adding spark to a life that's suddenly started looking highly unlivable every few days . The stress is killing me. The loneliness makes me want to cry. New unexplored adventures make me happy and unleash energy that I have no clue I had. I am making new connections that don't make sense. I am "feeling" love and pain and joy and disappointment, and given that I'm almost 23 and not almost 18 and hence considerably more cognizant (also have significantly less margin of error and license to thrill) it feels different.
The adrenaline is back, don't know where all this is going to lead.
Whichever way, I'm loving it.
8 comments:
this seems to be case with almost everyone around!
Knowing you I'm confident you're loving it :)
"I am making new connections that don't make sense." hmmmm well! :D
I can vouch for some parts of this atleast!!
But I still love you as you are ;)
成人視訊援交美女微風成人援交找美女成人愛愛視訊聊天室視訊聊天成人視訊聊天貼圖美女視訊聊天正妹百人斬貼圖區成人杜蕾斯成人熊貓貼圖區080中部人聊天室ut玩樂正妹日報
Hi,
Got frm somewhere at ur blog.
Gr8 Post. Seems as spiritual awakening.
Regards,
MV
As long as the last sentence is true, all is good:)
[one more blogger]
Really. Awesome, no!
[realistic you]
:) Thats a knowing smile.
[Quintoo]
You know me *so* well :D
[Manish]
Hi, welcome at the blog. Spiritual ka pata nahi, but it feels like "something" - intangible but important.
Hope to see you around, and thanks for the comment!!!
[aditi]
It's better than mind numbing emptiness. Love it, yes.
Post a Comment