I'm not just one person.
No, I haven't grown that fat, yet and no, I'm not schizophrenic (actually I probably do have a multiple personality disorder...I think...but not the point I'm making). What I'm trying to say is hardly anyone among us, is just one person. We are a composite of different behaviors and responses that become appropriate in different settings. And while there's nothing deeply insightful about that, sometimes the variations are so much that you wonder where you really belong, if anywhere.
No, I haven't grown that fat, yet and no, I'm not schizophrenic (actually I probably do have a multiple personality disorder...I think...but not the point I'm making). What I'm trying to say is hardly anyone among us, is just one person. We are a composite of different behaviors and responses that become appropriate in different settings. And while there's nothing deeply insightful about that, sometimes the variations are so much that you wonder where you really belong, if anywhere.
Excerpts from couple of conversations today:
A: Excuse me, do you have some other bread, I don't like the croissant, it's not authentic.
AirHostess : (stunned) Let me check ma'am.
(To me) Hope you're enjoying your meal ma'am.
Me: (Smiling) Thank you, it's just fine, this bread.
B: So that day at the hospital, I ordered only a sandwich and coffee and I was charged 110 rupees!!! Loot hai! And that too, it was some paalak, and boiled corn. Yuck. Not even worth 15 rupees. Do you eat all that junk?
Me: Errr...may be they were out of normal options.
Again, someone today called me a heartless too practical woman, while only yesterday I was labelled a hopeless romantic by someone equally judgmental. To be honest. I had nothing much to argue. I often lose track of where I belong - in the world where you take the bus to avoid cab fare, or where you hop flights and chauffer driven cabs all day. In a world where love is the be all and end all, everything to live for and you could throw a tantrum for not remembering your fav color for the valentives gift or one where keeping the head above heart is necessary, where work comes first and love fills the void. I had an argument with my mother today over wearing a locket she thinks is critical and I think is just superstitious and yet...
I'm mostly a very blunt person, an excellent blunt bitch I'd say - something that would sooner or later get me fired even - and yet there are moments when I find myself too different in different scenarios in terms of how I respond. And while mostly it is convenient, once in a while I struggle to find myself somewhere near the middle.
A: Excuse me, do you have some other bread, I don't like the croissant, it's not authentic.
AirHostess : (stunned) Let me check ma'am.
(To me) Hope you're enjoying your meal ma'am.
Me: (Smiling) Thank you, it's just fine, this bread.
B: So that day at the hospital, I ordered only a sandwich and coffee and I was charged 110 rupees!!! Loot hai! And that too, it was some paalak, and boiled corn. Yuck. Not even worth 15 rupees. Do you eat all that junk?
Me: Errr...may be they were out of normal options.
Again, someone today called me a heartless too practical woman, while only yesterday I was labelled a hopeless romantic by someone equally judgmental. To be honest. I had nothing much to argue. I often lose track of where I belong - in the world where you take the bus to avoid cab fare, or where you hop flights and chauffer driven cabs all day. In a world where love is the be all and end all, everything to live for and you could throw a tantrum for not remembering your fav color for the valentives gift or one where keeping the head above heart is necessary, where work comes first and love fills the void. I had an argument with my mother today over wearing a locket she thinks is critical and I think is just superstitious and yet...
I'm mostly a very blunt person, an excellent blunt bitch I'd say - something that would sooner or later get me fired even - and yet there are moments when I find myself too different in different scenarios in terms of how I respond. And while mostly it is convenient, once in a while I struggle to find myself somewhere near the middle.
1 comment:
I guess belonging somewhere isn't that necessary. I hope it isn't.
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