Undecided

I want too much
this and that and that and that
bahut saara, sab kuch
and I don't want anything either
Nothing, zilch, thank you please.
Maybe just what I have already.

Like a rising wave
in crests and thoughts
my desires these days
wax and wane, die and kill
I wonder what I want to choose-
red pill or the blue pill

Sometimes I want to live
like really really live, not just be
Sometimes I just want to die
Tired of the futility
Heisenberg is God
but Tughlaq is winning more
The perfect answer to every question
seems to be "I dont know" :)