The haze

There is the what 
And then there's the why
Some times we don't ask the why in the first place
But often we do
often we ask whys only in vain
Not really wanting to know
Labeling it unknowable
Giving up too soon
And some other times still
We know
But we don't want to admit it
I guess if we persevered enough
To get to that why
The picture would be a lot clearer
But then again
The question I ask from within the frame
Is why even ask for a clearer picture
The haze is good
The haze is good

Change - XI

Even after all these years, even as I know what I know and understand what I understand from every single time this happened before, the truth is, I am still not good with change.
Especially when I can see it coming.
I am okay with ambiguity, but I am not okay with the anticipation. I dont like knowing and watching the slow unraveling and the inching towards endings. I dont like wondering what it means and wishing it meant more. I dont like thinking about the future when there is nothing I can do at the moment than to wait for it to come to me.

Life happens, I guess. Change is inevitable and mostly, it is a good thing. God knows I want things to change this time. I feel so done. And yet, transitions are not so great when you know you are in the middle of them.

At least, and this is the good part, I know that when it happens and I have to deal with the moments, I will be just fine irrespective of how things play out.

I can handle it.