Even after all these years, even as I know what I know and understand what I understand from every single time this happened before, the truth is, I am still not good with change.
Especially when I can see it coming.
I am okay with ambiguity, but I am not okay with the anticipation. I dont like knowing and watching the slow unraveling and the inching towards endings. I dont like wondering what it means and wishing it meant more. I dont like thinking about the future when there is nothing I can do at the moment than to wait for it to come to me.
Life happens, I guess. Change is inevitable and mostly, it is a good thing. God knows I want things to change this time. I feel so done. And yet, transitions are not so great when you know you are in the middle of them.
At least, and this is the good part, I know that when it happens and I have to deal with the moments, I will be just fine irrespective of how things play out.
I can handle it.
Especially when I can see it coming.
I am okay with ambiguity, but I am not okay with the anticipation. I dont like knowing and watching the slow unraveling and the inching towards endings. I dont like wondering what it means and wishing it meant more. I dont like thinking about the future when there is nothing I can do at the moment than to wait for it to come to me.
Life happens, I guess. Change is inevitable and mostly, it is a good thing. God knows I want things to change this time. I feel so done. And yet, transitions are not so great when you know you are in the middle of them.
At least, and this is the good part, I know that when it happens and I have to deal with the moments, I will be just fine irrespective of how things play out.
I can handle it.
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