The cup that counts!

They call it the one that counts - the cricket World Cup 2011, and as the tournament reaches fever pitch at the climax, it really does look like there are a few statements this one is making, creating a definite impact that will be felt in the time to come. 

The more debated one - 50 over cricket will stay for now, showing a potential for providing interesting, twisted, edge-of-the-seat action. However, for that to happen you definitely need pitches with something for the bowlers, because 20-20 is better at wham-bam-thankyou action from the bats. 

But most interestingly, all the sub-continental sides are there in the semi-finals, with no Aus, SA or Eng. Who could have bet on that?! With the exception of Bangladesh, of course, but they did themselves too many disfavors in the league stage itself. Which makes it important to highlight the caveat - this cup is played in sub-continental conditions, in a format most suited to ensure the hosts qualified to the quarters. And hence it was Bangladesh's spot to lose, in some way. But barring that, the final line-up has India Pakistan Sri Lanka and New Zealand. The last one is a bigger surprise than the other three, in some way, given how they came in to the world cup losing 4-0 to Bangladesh and 5-0 to India in these very same conditions! 

Somehow, this sounds staged. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but is there a better result at this stage the hosts of this cup could have asked for? An India Pak semi-final to go, and the fourth team in the fray one of the most beatable ones on paper. Extrapolating, the perfect result is an India SL final - both the co-hosts - with India winning - the biggest financial power in world cricket. Somewhere there throw in Sachin's 100th ton as well.

It's all perfectly likely, and possible even without any conspiracy at all, but somehow, even as I watch with bated breath and pumping adrenaline as a crazy fan the final three chapters unfold, I cannot help but wonder that if it turns out to be too good to be true, was it always meant to be that way?

Hmm.
 

Well, at least it is entertaining. Works for me. Go India!

Khaali

...there are these, and then, there are those conversations with not-strangers. With people you like and love and care about. With people you talk all the time - every week, every day, every few hours. With people you normally like to have conversations with - both intense and mundane. And everything in the

Some of those conversations with some of those people, sometimes, are empty. For the lack of a better word. When you can sense an urgency in the other person's voice to end a conversation you're keen to hanging on to. When you know the other person's attentions lies elsewhere, and not in the story you are narrating. When every word is far away, detached. When the eyes are focused on some stray thought, not on you and not on your expectant eyes. When every word is stretched thin. When you try to fight for every extra second, but eventually realise, this is not the right time.

We've all been there, in those conversations, on both sides.

99 out of 100 times, we forget them as soon as they happen.

Or we call it life.

1 out of 100 times, that stretched feeling lingers a few seconds longer.

That empty-handed moment, that really sucks.

Even though it is life. 

:)

Connections

Nothing and seriously nothing makes my day like a great conversation. And so often, the best conversations happen with "strangers". Or very old friends. It is a pity how rare these opportunities are, but whenever such a chance comes along, it is like a spray of refreshing energy rekindling life. I'm lucky I have this blog, which has over the years helped me cross paths with so many brilliant people who have made a real difference to my life, through their words, through their friendship and just by their generosity of being themselves and letting me be myself around them. You know who you are - thank you. 

You know, even though this world is awfully small, this life painfully long, and the billions painfully crowded, the communication and "networking" modes too intrusive - we are all too lonely still as individuals, too starved of connections with other fellow human beings. And then, there's something magical about connecting with strangers in fortuitous moments, who in their "real world" protocols are too improbable and unapproachable to cross paths with you. 

Thinking of recent time, few months back, meeting SS after months of a pleasing relationship with her written words was the brightest spot in a super-dark fortnight and how much I adore her for that! And yesterday, through a rare conspiracy of circumstances (getting upgraded to business class in a flight too full!) I met someone else, a total stranger, who in the "real world", given who he is, I would have never had the kind of conversation with that I eventually did over the 2.5 hour flight. 

And once again, over a conversation ranging from the battle between i-banking, consulting, private equity and industry to  that between India, china and the world, to that between romanticism and pragmatism, life and dreams, heart and mind - I once again realized how incredibly easy it is sometimes to open up to strangers and admit your deep fears and conflicts that you don't even discuss with yourself. It defies logic, how we can tell a complete stranger your secret guilt, your conflicts, your "story". I think it comes from the freedom  of not being judged, or not caring about being judged. I don't know if I will ever meet him again - so much older, senior, busier, so very much unlike me in the person he is - but those 2.5 hours were special just for the unique freedom that came with it, something that even the mirror cannot afford. There's so little to lose, so much to gain - esp a stranger's ability of reading between your sentences and in your eyes of what you're really saying. A stranger's ability of making you think!

And then the beautiful facet of discovering how all people are basically the same - suffering similar basic existential questions in their mind few years apart, going through the same agonies halfway across the globe, and alternating between the same few so-called philosophies of living.

It's beautiful.

It's official...

...looks are deceptive. Especially in bosses.

Their cuteness (and other such seemingly nice things, including apparent-coolness) has no correlation to their being jerks or not. :-)

Justify? Why?

I read somewhere today that one of the most important things we could learn from children is that they know how to demand with all their might that which they desire. It is amazing their ability to give everything without holding back for what they want, it is amazing the ease with which they know what they want. 

Why do we, while growing up, lose the ability to know what we truly desire - and not call it vague words like happiness, love, or purpose but something much more tangible, something we can fight for and get. Why do we struggle in the battle of heart and mind so much. Why is it sometimes so hard to hear what the heart is actually saying. And when we know, why does it take a nudge and a push to go all out and fight for it. Why is every argument a "yes, but.." or a "however". 

Words are such a handicap at times.

Funny thing is, even when we finally *know*, when we finally *hear*, when we *do*, we can't just go to sleep contented, because someone will have opinions, ask justifications and ask us why. Nobody does that to a kid.

These whys are such a pain. :-)

Sometimes I wish...

... that I was super attractive and super dumb.

Then I would not have to work and I could still be rich because all rich people want to be with me and spend money on me

And the best part - I wouldn't have any existential questions at all.

 

 

Sorry for being sexist and sticking to stereotypes, but I say - being a dumb blonde is super awesome!!

 

Sau gram zindagi

...and so, it was a longggg day.

Started at 4 am to face one of the worse Monday mornings, an early morning crib, a longgg flight, and a super hectic work day with non stop work from noon to 11 pm...

And then, at 11, I check into my hotel room - tired and hungry - and find beautiful flowers with a lovely message waiting for me.
Happy Valentines day, he says.

I'm not tired any more. I'm on the seventh moon. Or the ninth sky. Or the seventeenth cloud.

Touch wood, and thank God, for the precious little mercies of life.  For love.
For the do gram namak and cheeni in the zindagi ke sau gram.

Thank you. Can't stop smiling :)

No love lost!

Good morning, and welcome on-board what feels like a bad week coming. Or at least, the start couldn't have been insaner. It feels wrong to crib in the morning, but short of kicking myself (and including that), this is the best I can do. So here's what happened:

After the thought of the longgg flight to Chennai and the long day and week ahead made my sleep disappear over night, after I got out of bed at 4 feeling refreshed with a 2.5 hour sleep, there I was trying to get to the airport at 530 in the morning when the car broke down. Had Einstein been around and amnesiac, he would have probably rediscovered relativity seeing how long and short 15 minutes are early in the morning - the 15 minutes of sleep, too little, the 15 minutes of car breaking down, too much. And just as I managed to reach the airport 2 minutes too late, I realize to my horror that I forgot my wallet (with all my money, cards, ID proof et al) at home. The ah moment of taking out change at 1030 pm returned. The sleeplessness kicked me on discovering that the next flight out is only at 850, and the guilt of asking my dad to wake up early in the morning and bring me the fateful wallet has sapped all my energies for the week already. And hence, here we are, suited booted packed and sleepless, waiting at the airport for Dad to come and the flight to leave. For all the work I was supposed to do in two hours in morning getting pushed to late at night. For more sleeplessness.

Yes, you can go awwww now. And repeat that when I crib about working so hard on Valentine's day, with no one to swoon over. Double awww. 

And double yawn. Damn.

...and we're back

For anyone still reading, upfront sincere apologies for the vanishing act. Especially to those whose questioning comments and emails have been met with a puzzling silence. Yes, this is the longest I have stayed off the blog and that too without warning, but no, this is not a trend. Just something I have been doing, an experiment of sorts. Letting life come to me, pass through me and go by - without trying too hard to hold onto anything, without longing for anything present or not there, without thinking too much about it. And for the most part, I have been happier for it. Happier than I have been in a long time. 2011, as I wished in the last two posts, has been better so far. Not easier, but happier and better. Thank you.

Now that the disclaimer is in place and this blog has been prepped for a flood of posts in the next few days, short update on the latest headlines. Working out of Chennai these days with Germans, so expect some crib to follow :P Have been on the verge of a (relatively) big decision - quitting the job. Expect final outcomes in a day or two and more news, but for now I will say this - choosing between basically good alternatives that have long term (ok, medium term) implications on the rest of your life is a pretty hard task. :D


More soon. Much more.

Toofaan to aana hai, aakar chale jaana hai
Baadal hai yeh kuch pal ka, chhaakar dhal jaana hai
Parchhaaniyan reh jaati, reh jaati nishaani hai

Zindagi aur kuch bhi nahi, teri meri kahaani hai :-)

2011, here you are

Cool. Let's see what you have got.

Let's play!! :)