I got the first ever Zukk! of my life. I expected it, almost. And I managed it . Zero. Also the same as what me, my life, my thoughts, this blog, and my life is worth. Zero.
:-
Where am I taking my life, MYSELF, by choice?
Do I even care?
No.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
RENDEZVOUS'05: THE OTHER SIDE
It's been almost 90 hours now since Rendezvous 2005, IITD annual cultural fest, ended. I didn't want to write about the fest at all, and not just because it's been mentioned by me in bits and pieces in several posts before, or because several ppl have mentioned several aspects and their own points of view of the fest already,[ or to be more honest and blunt, have already rubbished it and laughed on it several times over], but because I had a slightly different perspective to offer, and even though I'm neither favouring nor opposing anybody here, I didnt exactly wanna offend anyone with my opinions. Still, I've been repeatedly asked to write something, and thus this post...But I'll try to be extremely cautious not to tread the line here.
All right, let's face it, this year hasn't exactly seen the best of fests. Lots has been said about the [lack of] organization, the missing 'feel' of Rendezvous in the campus, the bias, the incapability of the G.Sec. etc etc. We, inspite of being inhabitants of the same college, have gone to every depth possible to ridicule our own fest, while surprisingly, the most encouraging comments I've heard have all come from non-IITDians. But that's Ok. Criticism is a good thing, and a lot of it here is also deserved, plus outsiders don't really know much abt the system, and obviously we have the luxury of hindsight and comparisons with the past.
Yes, Rendezvous 2004(the only one other than this I've closely watched, though I've visited a couple more) was more enjoyable, for the lack of a better word, than this, and what I hear from seniors the 2003 and other editions were even better, and I accept and appreciate that. I know how this time round the Professional nite got almost screwed up at one point of time, and how the sponsorships weren't adequate. We all laugh and ridicule, of crse other than when we are getting our refreshments/coupons/passes/protocol etc [for those who weren't involved with anything, yes, we laugh and ridicule all the time], but I somehow get the feeling we are doing this a bit too much. Rendezvous suffered from a lack of organisational manpower, but in the end, the very few working hands actually managed to pull things off very very decently if u look at it without prejudices. Even things that had to be conjured at the last minute somehow managed to be decent enough, and trust me the non-sceptic junta really enjoyed. Nobody even notices that there was a DJ from Europe for the RDX, that over 2 lacs worth of fircrackers were burst during the meganites, that most events (and infra reqts) were managed 'on time'. Yes, we had crowds less than last time, but blame the rains and the coinciding mid-sem exams of an astonishing number of colleges for that. Despite that, do you think it was easy to get entry anywhere for the avg junta...The crowds were still overflowing! AND, it was infact tougher for IITians to get fraud entries for themselves and kins. I know this contributes to a lot of anger within us, but look at it from an overall point of view. This only means more honesty, more transparency, better security and better organisation than ever before. Even ppl from the organising hostel had a tough time negotiating the security ppl. It might make u angry if u take it at a personal level, but then, sometimes one has to think at the macro level. So much for the bias allegation! And whoever just cribbed Poltu, well I definitely agree it was there. And I'm refraining myself from discussing the malpractices and the alliance breaches here, but wat-the-heck, don't things like this happen everyyear everywhere all the time!!! Wake up, this is IITD. And u know this don't u, that those who did all the ugly work ARE the ones who are gonna suffer the most in the aftermath, esp politically. The sad part is that those at the lower tiers, the fachas for example, who worked 20 hours a day doing menial jobs, carrying stuff, running around, doing the deco, and things like that selflessly and tirelessly, will suffer too.
I'm sorry. I neither wanna defend anybody, nor refuse the fact that things were a lot worse than they could have been, nor do I intend to invite another controversy on this blog.
My point is just this much, and not exclusively applicable to this fest only:
It's the easiest thing in the world to complain and crib from a distance. You have to be in it to now how difficult things can be. It's very simple to give advice, to sit back comfortably and shoot opinions, judgements, advices, whims and critique on what SHOULD be done and what not and how etc. This is India, and everybody here thinks they can be the Prime Minister!!!! But as much as one is free to give random advices and opinions, let us not, in our comfortable rubbishing of the whole world, insult the efforts of the few who gave their 100%. It pains me when ppl overlook the positives totally because of the negatives, and not just here, in general in life too. Tell me, is the 'ugly' really that much more attractive?
All right, let's face it, this year hasn't exactly seen the best of fests. Lots has been said about the [lack of] organization, the missing 'feel' of Rendezvous in the campus, the bias, the incapability of the G.Sec. etc etc. We, inspite of being inhabitants of the same college, have gone to every depth possible to ridicule our own fest, while surprisingly, the most encouraging comments I've heard have all come from non-IITDians. But that's Ok. Criticism is a good thing, and a lot of it here is also deserved, plus outsiders don't really know much abt the system, and obviously we have the luxury of hindsight and comparisons with the past.
Yes, Rendezvous 2004(the only one other than this I've closely watched, though I've visited a couple more) was more enjoyable, for the lack of a better word, than this, and what I hear from seniors the 2003 and other editions were even better, and I accept and appreciate that. I know how this time round the Professional nite got almost screwed up at one point of time, and how the sponsorships weren't adequate. We all laugh and ridicule, of crse other than when we are getting our refreshments/coupons/passes/protocol etc [for those who weren't involved with anything, yes, we laugh and ridicule all the time], but I somehow get the feeling we are doing this a bit too much. Rendezvous suffered from a lack of organisational manpower, but in the end, the very few working hands actually managed to pull things off very very decently if u look at it without prejudices. Even things that had to be conjured at the last minute somehow managed to be decent enough, and trust me the non-sceptic junta really enjoyed. Nobody even notices that there was a DJ from Europe for the RDX, that over 2 lacs worth of fircrackers were burst during the meganites, that most events (and infra reqts) were managed 'on time'. Yes, we had crowds less than last time, but blame the rains and the coinciding mid-sem exams of an astonishing number of colleges for that. Despite that, do you think it was easy to get entry anywhere for the avg junta...The crowds were still overflowing! AND, it was infact tougher for IITians to get fraud entries for themselves and kins. I know this contributes to a lot of anger within us, but look at it from an overall point of view. This only means more honesty, more transparency, better security and better organisation than ever before. Even ppl from the organising hostel had a tough time negotiating the security ppl. It might make u angry if u take it at a personal level, but then, sometimes one has to think at the macro level. So much for the bias allegation! And whoever just cribbed Poltu, well I definitely agree it was there. And I'm refraining myself from discussing the malpractices and the alliance breaches here, but wat-the-heck, don't things like this happen everyyear everywhere all the time!!! Wake up, this is IITD. And u know this don't u, that those who did all the ugly work ARE the ones who are gonna suffer the most in the aftermath, esp politically. The sad part is that those at the lower tiers, the fachas for example, who worked 20 hours a day doing menial jobs, carrying stuff, running around, doing the deco, and things like that selflessly and tirelessly, will suffer too.
I'm sorry. I neither wanna defend anybody, nor refuse the fact that things were a lot worse than they could have been, nor do I intend to invite another controversy on this blog.
My point is just this much, and not exclusively applicable to this fest only:
It's the easiest thing in the world to complain and crib from a distance. You have to be in it to now how difficult things can be. It's very simple to give advice, to sit back comfortably and shoot opinions, judgements, advices, whims and critique on what SHOULD be done and what not and how etc. This is India, and everybody here thinks they can be the Prime Minister!!!! But as much as one is free to give random advices and opinions, let us not, in our comfortable rubbishing of the whole world, insult the efforts of the few who gave their 100%. It pains me when ppl overlook the positives totally because of the negatives, and not just here, in general in life too. Tell me, is the 'ugly' really that much more attractive?
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
The Unbecoming Engineers
A lot of you would have already read this one, it's appeared in this month's Campus Rumpus, still, i was asked to post it here, and I guess it does make sense for ppl other than the few CR-reading IITD junta, so am puttin it here. Will like you reviews, though am sorry for the length..:)
THE UNBECOMING ENGINEERS
Before I proceed to say anything, I request you all to kindly excuse any content that maybe regarded as capricious jargon or insensitive ballyhoo on my part, or merely a dangerous figment of my over imaginative faculties. I do not seek to pronounce personal, opinionated judgments on the state of worldly affairs that have come under the purview of the narrow range of my vision, both physical and mental. All I endeavour is to relate a certain incident that has rudely shake me up a bit from my perpetual state of utopian bliss and self-satisfaction, and the chaos that it has temporarily triggered off in my sparingly used mind. I also intend to use this rustiness of my mental factory caused by the almost complete absence of regular exercise and over-exposure to junk, as an excuse to cover-up any absurd comprehensions, preposterous misconceptions and wrongful analysis that I might have made and you shall be reading about (hopefully) in the following paragraphs. I have also dared to use the pronoun “we” more than a few times to stand for the entire IITian community while speaking of certain actions and sentiments I find myself sharing with almost everyone I know here. I urge the sensitive, intellectual population of the IIT Front Benchers’ Association to kindly overlook my outrageous attempt at humour and avoid filing a defamation suit on the charges of “malice aforethought” against me for the liberties I have carelessly taken. And now if we are done with the disclaimer, let me move on to the purpose for which I have decided to waste two rupees worth of my pen’s ink, a couple of A4 sheets and 200 calories worth of my energy today.
Well, I for one am a very peacefully content, blissfully ignorant and lazy individual who, like a substantial chunk of the IIT population, is extremely happy and content doing nothing at all and yet being perceived by the whole world as doing something respectable (?) simply by the virtue of having an IITian tag.
Yeah, this tag- this stamp of being an IIT student- that everyone gets by default the day he/she manages to crack the all-important, sleep-devouring exam, the IITJEE- and enter one of these high profile institutions. No wonder so many students work and pray so hard for this stamp, so many dreams are hinged on a single result, because once we’re in, we can really afford to be mentally out!!!
It is strangely funny (and had I been normal, worrisome too) the manner and the speed with which we all get transformed from serious, sincere, diligent, highly ‘academic’ children to a bunch of casual, perpetually cribbing but still “happy” bunch of individuals, unaffected by most serious and academic issues, esp. subjects, lectures and profs. I sometimes wonder if the air of IIT causes some genetic mutation in the residents’ bodies such that they metamorphose into creatures of a strangely violent, occasionally brilliant, seemingly busy, perpetually somnolent nocturnal species.
Anyways, I do not intend to dwell any further on this, firstly because I myself am a proud member of this species, secondly because like most of us, I do not really care, and lastly because this careless detour of thought is not what has woken me up from my reverie, but something else which I shall hopefully soon tell you about.
See, I’ve always subscribed to the view that it’s not really important what you do, but what matters is what others think you’re doing. I’ve seen this thumb rule work reasonably well within the IIT system too. If people believe that you’ve put in sincere efforts discharging your responsibilities at some particular post in your hostel or the BRCA etc., you stand to earn a lot of extra goodwill (and trust me, a lot of votes the next political season too), even if you’d actually whiled away the year distributing your work among others as much as possible, organizing meetings just to fix the next meeting date, or shrugging off responsibilities with a most serious face and my favourite clichéd of “I’ve got responsibilities!” in front of your superiors, but still managing to make an appearance at all places and times when it counts. Similarly, one could help one’s own grades by a simple trick: Occasionally, take a little pain to wake up from the lecture time nap five minutes before the class ends (it’ll be cruel, foolish and mortally impossible in most of the cases to try and wake up the whole lecture) and let a few words and terms enter your ears (it may be advisable to employ the alarm on your cell phone, since alertness in those five minutes is crucial). Then crowd your prof. at the end of the class (yes, along with the revered front benchers) with some doubt or question. Ask anything whatsoever, but make sure the discussion lasts at least five minutes, and the prof leaves with an impression that at least someone was attentive in his class and he must remember your face (if possible, name and entry number too). A one-to-one meeting with the prof in his room later works thousand times better, but you’ve to be really brave and slightly more alert for the longer rendezvous…. Clever, huh?
So coming back to the point, deceptive looks can be really handy. Especially so for an IITian outside IIT. You may be a nine point someone, or a five point no one, but to the average laymen you’re the descendant of some highly brilliant species- the license of this being your Institute I-Card, or B.Tech. Degree, as maybe the case. Sooner or later, we all start enjoying our stay in this ego-boosting castle of illusion and believing in the falsehood of the superiority claims.
Normally whenever I happen to meet, or am introduced to, an over enthusiastic neighbour at home, an inquisitive relative, an aware sexagenarian, or a semi-intelligent professional, I’m used to zealous congratulations, gratuitous advice and good lucks, and a general expression of how happy they’re since I have the privilege of studying in IIT. Privilege it certainly is, studying…err…well…
Anyway, the funnier situations are those when my acquaintance is a part of the intellectually deprived, informatively challenged junta who do not really know what IIT stands for. And I happily oblige with a flattering explanation of the world-renowned, India’s finest premiers of technical education. I must confess the awestruck expressions of my audience are pretty enjoyable, but trust me, it really makes you angry when someone confuses IIT with ITI!!!
The incident (finally!!!) that I’ve been talking about since the start of this article happened a few days back-when I was home for my mid-semester break. One of my father’s old-time friend and colleague had come to our house for lunch with his family. After the usual exchange of greeting, introductions and the first round of tea and snacks, everyone settled for a round of conversations and discussions. Uncle asked me what I was doing, and I casually replied I was studying, expecting the usual.
“What are you studying child?” his wife suddenly took over.
“Well, auntie, I’m studying at IIT Delhi” I retorted confidently.
“That’s fine, but what do you study?” She repeated her question. I looked at her calm face and half-laughed to myself thinking here comes another who doesn’t even know what is taught at IITs.
Outwardly though, I just said, “I’m doing my B.Tech. in Chemical Engineering. First Year.”
“Good, so that means you’ll soon be an engineer. Infact you already are 20% of one.”
“Uh…well…” I hardly knew how to respond.
But she continued. “So, who is an engineer? I mean. What all does an engineer do? What exactly are you going to do as your job all your life?”
Now the last one was a real googly. What was an engineer afterall? Am I really 0.2 of what I’m supposed to be in another three years when I have a degree in my hand? Certainly, doing four times of what I really do right now is not the supposed job of an engineer.
I realized all eyes were on me. I was expected to give a brilliant reply, befitting my somewhat respectable status, but in reality, I was at a total loss of words, and thoughts. My mind had blanked out, and it was sheer luck that saved me from the mess, because almost miraculously my phone rang at that very instant and I got a little reprieve. Plus my mom almost simultaneously announced lunch and invited everyone to the dining table, and thus, somehow, the topic was forgotten for the day.
They left in a couple of hours, but the question didn’t really leave me. The storm hadn’t really abated, at least not the one within, because suddenly a single, seemingly innocuous stone of reality had shattered the castle of my illusions, and five words…are we really becoming engineers?
One of the first things I did once they left was check out the dictionary for the meaning of the word “engineer”, and this is what Oxford had to offer:
A skilled professional who applies scientific knowledge for the planning, design, manufacture and utilization of a technological enterprise.
Heavy words indeed, but is that really the direction in which my steps are heading? Well, I certainly plan enterprises, but technological??????? I know how to utilize my time in the lectures to cover up for lost sleep, and to finish practical files and assignments, and the only thing that comes to my mind at the mention of manufacture is a MEL120 class, and well…that makes me yawn immediately. Ahem, so…it that enough? Are we really gonna become skilled professionals by practising our routine skills of bunking indefinite number of classes for the sake of making up for those night hours lost in gossip, attending lectures only to sleep, avoid attendance Fs I case of stricter profs and oblige friends with proxies, discussing Nescafe coffees, sassi paranthas, wind–t crowd, girls, guys and profs all day long, and somehow scraping through the years? I don’t think any of us actually learns anything on the curriculum- except for how to be experts at fraud thanks to the practicals.
Our knowledge v/s time graph seems to follow exponential patterns; a steep rise4 from zero to a certain maxima within a few hours before the exam, and a rapid exponential decay that begins the instant we step out of the exam hall, such that it’s entirely possible to forget the entire course content before the first minor by the time minor 2 arrives- a fact which can be proven by asking yourself how many course titles of your courses last semester do you genuinely remember.
I recently asked one of my seniors at the fag end of his third year if he really feels like 75% of an engineer. He was initially aghast, but later responded, “Only if I were to get a degree in redundancy and not electrical engineering, yeah I’m 75% there…”
We both giggled, but later I though, how true. And if this was the situation at IIT-supposedly the best of the lot-what about the thousands of other engineering colleges across the country? Do we really do what we are supposed to be doing, or is it sufficient that a lot of people think we are? I don’t really know. I would have pondered more and worried myself to death over the future of my beloved country, but the fatigue of my suddenly over -exercised mind now threatens to drown me and I know very soon I’m going to re-collapse to my utopian world of egocentricity.
Until then, just a single thought rankles my brain:
Am I really becoming an engineer, or an unbecoming one?
Monday, September 26, 2005
TAG-O-MANIA
Three people have tagged me till date, and though I am averse to the idea of following tags myself, I just feel like posting something light, something that doesn't strain my tiny mind that's anyway too tired with the most hectic week of the semester just past.For anybody who expected me to write on rendezvous, wait, or forget it. There's very little chance I'd write on it, at least not soon. I'm exhausted.
I never thought i'd follow Pradyot's tag of the 55-story ever. It's just two less for me.But anyway, here's some crap. 55 words.One story. Or is it?
SILENCE
Silence.
Empty.
Dull.
Lifeless.
A flutter.
Freshness.
Life.
A smile.
Silence.
Suddenly warm.
Suddenly alive.
The eyes.
Depth.
Promise.
A blink.
Silence.
Excited.
Happy.
Anxious.
A surge.
Apprehension.
Desire.
Nerves.
Silence.
Terrified.
hopeful.
Courage.
Collected.
Fragile.
A final sigh.
A hand.
Outstretched.
Words.
No words.
Silence.
Pregnant.
Murderous.
Another blink.
Another smile.
Her.
Me.
Silence.
-------------------------------------
Anjul sir has also bestowed upon me the privilege(?) of a tag, and I thought I might as well do that too.
5 years ago:
I was studying. Supposedly. As in I used to go to some school. everyday. Boards got over, those days were fun, in their own right. Uncomplicated life. The beginning of 11th was rather sad. But that's all I remember. back then, I was a big time introvert. No friends. Nothing to do. Not a geek. Knew many people. But knew noone. I was happy. And then I changed.
1 year ago:
I had just entered IIT. Couldn't get myself to be fond of this place by then. working in Rendezvous 2004 changed that somewhat. Slowly got the feel of this place. the college. The people. The hostel. The new taste of loneliness here. I adjusted.
5 songs I know all the words to:
*Words of most Backstreet numbers, and yeah words by boyzone too
*some of Lobo's classics
*Lotsa bryan adams.
*Several old hindi songs, cant start naming them.
*A few gazals .
5 Snacks I enjoy:
* Muffin @ nescafe.
* Pizzas, generally.
* Tacky road side meals
* Maggi
* Anything I'm in the mood of eating.
Things I'd do with $100 million dollars:
* Gift my friends a lot of things I know they want.
* Get myself a lovely car, new comp, new lappy, digicam, i Pod etc etc etc.
* Travel a lot
* Make my mother go for shopping all she wants.
* give the rest to my dad.
5 places I would run away to:
* Home.
* Hostel.
* Any hilltop where there's noone.
* Middle of the sea, alone.
* Any place where I can be alone.
5 things I would never wear:
* nothing. I love experimenting with clothes. 5 things I'd never wear in IIT would have been a
better question!
5 favourite TV shows:
TV's almost extinct in my life.
5 greatest joys:
* The smile I see on someone's face that appears once I made an effort for that.
* When anybody smiles back because I smile.
* When my Ma gives me a hug on seeing my home every 20 days.
* When I can do absolutely nothing, or when I have LOTSA things to do.
* One I get when I make a friend, when I get someone to trust em even an ounce.
5 fav toys:
* Minds.
* My ten year old doll.
-----------------------------------------
Time to pass the baton...
Do this if u want to, i'm just passing it on.
Tag#1: Vertigo, Shalabh, conufsed, arpz
Tag#2: Manu, The Last czar, TGHH, shaurya, voice
I never thought i'd follow Pradyot's tag of the 55-story ever. It's just two less for me.But anyway, here's some crap. 55 words.One story. Or is it?
SILENCE
Silence.
Empty.
Dull.
Lifeless.
A flutter.
Freshness.
Life.
A smile.
Silence.
Suddenly warm.
Suddenly alive.
The eyes.
Depth.
Promise.
A blink.
Silence.
Excited.
Happy.
Anxious.
A surge.
Apprehension.
Desire.
Nerves.
Silence.
Terrified.
hopeful.
Courage.
Collected.
Fragile.
A final sigh.
A hand.
Outstretched.
Words.
No words.
Silence.
Pregnant.
Murderous.
Another blink.
Another smile.
Her.
Me.
Silence.
-------------------------------------
Anjul sir has also bestowed upon me the privilege(?) of a tag, and I thought I might as well do that too.
5 years ago:
I was studying. Supposedly. As in I used to go to some school. everyday. Boards got over, those days were fun, in their own right. Uncomplicated life. The beginning of 11th was rather sad. But that's all I remember. back then, I was a big time introvert. No friends. Nothing to do. Not a geek. Knew many people. But knew noone. I was happy. And then I changed.
1 year ago:
I had just entered IIT. Couldn't get myself to be fond of this place by then. working in Rendezvous 2004 changed that somewhat. Slowly got the feel of this place. the college. The people. The hostel. The new taste of loneliness here. I adjusted.
5 songs I know all the words to:
*Words of most Backstreet numbers, and yeah words by boyzone too
*some of Lobo's classics
*Lotsa bryan adams.
*Several old hindi songs, cant start naming them.
*A few gazals .
5 Snacks I enjoy:
* Muffin @ nescafe.
* Pizzas, generally.
* Tacky road side meals
* Maggi
* Anything I'm in the mood of eating.
Things I'd do with $100 million dollars:
* Gift my friends a lot of things I know they want.
* Get myself a lovely car, new comp, new lappy, digicam, i Pod etc etc etc.
* Travel a lot
* Make my mother go for shopping all she wants.
* give the rest to my dad.
5 places I would run away to:
* Home.
* Hostel.
* Any hilltop where there's noone.
* Middle of the sea, alone.
* Any place where I can be alone.
5 things I would never wear:
* nothing. I love experimenting with clothes. 5 things I'd never wear in IIT would have been a
better question!
5 favourite TV shows:
TV's almost extinct in my life.
5 greatest joys:
* The smile I see on someone's face that appears once I made an effort for that.
* When anybody smiles back because I smile.
* When my Ma gives me a hug on seeing my home every 20 days.
* When I can do absolutely nothing, or when I have LOTSA things to do.
* One I get when I make a friend, when I get someone to trust em even an ounce.
5 fav toys:
* Minds.
* My ten year old doll.
-----------------------------------------
Time to pass the baton...
Do this if u want to, i'm just passing it on.
Tag#1: Vertigo, Shalabh, conufsed, arpz
Tag#2: Manu, The Last czar, TGHH, shaurya, voice
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Class notes
Na baras itna, ki baras jate hain
Woh jo nahi barse hain kai barson se
Bebas si barsaaton mein
Barasti andheri raaton mein
Waqt bhatak-sa gaya hai ashkon mein...
Woh jo nahi barse hain kai barson se
Bebas si barsaaton mein
Barasti andheri raaton mein
Waqt bhatak-sa gaya hai ashkon mein...
IGNORED QUESTIONS
I did not intend to write this post, but I've been propmpted to think, and think seriously about something by Ekanta, who, before anything, deserves a few apologies from me and some others for being ignored as spam, because of the same vague comment left on several blogs at the same time. I'm saying this again Ekanta,we're sorry for our carelessness.
Anyway, this was the question Ekanta left, and it's certainly deep enough to be thought of and discussed upon.
If you like rooms that echo, is it that you like hearing your own voice and sounds being enhanced and elaborated upon? Is it that you are curious to hear what you sound like to the rest of the world and to have your sentiments communicated. Do you seek or feel some sort of response in the sound that continues and repeats itself? Is there something profound to be recovered/retained/remembered collectively?
The quetions essentially, in extremely articulate language and brilliant expression, intend to question, from where I see it, the psychology behind the 'need for expression'. Simply put, they could mean to a lot of us as why we communicate, or even more contemporarily, why do we blog? Everyone has their own reasons, needs and explanations, infact there needn't be any at all, and that's a good enough answer in itself.
The second question posed above is extremely thought-provoking...isn't it true that we want our opinions to be voiced, the hidden and hideous to be visible sometimes, and we wanna see how our thoughts look when given a form and structure, and most crucially, how do others respond to that very integral part of us that we've put under public purview?
Echoes in particular are mysterious things. Everyone loves them for their own reason, but not everyone an single that reason out. To me echoes appear as something big and important that comes to me and only me. It makes me feel important, though smaller at the same time. I don't know if I sound like making any sense here, but then, on some issues, none of us can make sense, isn't it?
There is a depth lying beneath everything that needs to be acknowledged and discovered. Everything.
Anyway, this was the question Ekanta left, and it's certainly deep enough to be thought of and discussed upon.
If you like rooms that echo, is it that you like hearing your own voice and sounds being enhanced and elaborated upon? Is it that you are curious to hear what you sound like to the rest of the world and to have your sentiments communicated. Do you seek or feel some sort of response in the sound that continues and repeats itself? Is there something profound to be recovered/retained/remembered collectively?
The quetions essentially, in extremely articulate language and brilliant expression, intend to question, from where I see it, the psychology behind the 'need for expression'. Simply put, they could mean to a lot of us as why we communicate, or even more contemporarily, why do we blog? Everyone has their own reasons, needs and explanations, infact there needn't be any at all, and that's a good enough answer in itself.
The second question posed above is extremely thought-provoking...isn't it true that we want our opinions to be voiced, the hidden and hideous to be visible sometimes, and we wanna see how our thoughts look when given a form and structure, and most crucially, how do others respond to that very integral part of us that we've put under public purview?
Echoes in particular are mysterious things. Everyone loves them for their own reason, but not everyone an single that reason out. To me echoes appear as something big and important that comes to me and only me. It makes me feel important, though smaller at the same time. I don't know if I sound like making any sense here, but then, on some issues, none of us can make sense, isn't it?
There is a depth lying beneath everything that needs to be acknowledged and discovered. Everything.
Saturday, September 17, 2005
A good laugh or two, in oblivion...
Once upon a time there was a girl, and there was a guy, and no this is not a love story. They never met, and there are no love stories to talk of. Infact there is no love, and no story to talk of here. It's just a tiny bit of reality. It's about two people I know, rather knew, for I can't boast of still "knowing" them any more. They have drifted too far apart, mentally that is, to be fathomable any more to me. And that makes me sad. I don't intend to be boring, and I don't intend to tell a long tale about two people who don't know each other, and who are hardly known to most of u likely to be reading this. But the only reason I mentioned them is this...pretence. We all probably wannabe somebody other than who we are, and trust me this is sad. But it's also equally human. Dissatisfaction is the name of the game for most of us. It's one thing to try and learn things we admire from others around and quite another to self-ridicule onself, and sometimes ridicule even others on the basis of skewed perceptions of "qualities" that one possesses, or doesnt possess, for that matter.Am I sounding in one of my preach-modes again? Maybe yes, and I'm sorry, but the only one I wanna preach to at the moment is myself. I'm appalled by the number of people around me dissatisfied with what they are, that is why they look upon others, then they get insecure, then they either want to be like that, or convince themselves that the other person, or that particular attribute of his personality is SO BAD so that they can get back to being comfortable with thier oh-so-small selves, and then all they end up is with more dissatisfaction, because in the whole process they forgot whatever 'good' qualities they themselves have, eventually losing them, and they forget the basic funda of 'life is a learning process, a journey, not a destination' so soon. Queer observation? Well that's not the only thing that's wierd with me.I'm sad today, because the guy in question was once a very good friend of mine, but slowly, bit by bit, he became so different from what i knew him as, that today, the image I have of him in my mind, the first 'him' that I got to know, has become so different form what he is today that it hurts me a lot. Why did this happen, I dont know for sure. Maybe he was trying to fit in with his peers, the rowdies around,and in the process lost what made him so different, and so much better than everyone else. He's become someone else now, and I can't even identify my friend. But I'm hurt. The gal I talked about was also a victim to the tide of change also known as peer-pressure and changing-with-the-times. She tried becoming oh-so-cool, but sacrificed her own ideology for that, the basic principles she said her life stood on. Is that fair? I don';t know. It's her life, she's absolutely free to decide. I can't say anything. I won't. I'll just sob in silence staring at the dark oblivion that's swallowed two bits of my life.
--------------------------------------------------------
I didnt intend to be so serious this morning. But sometimes early mornings on weekends, when the world sleeps, and insomniacs like me think, it happens. Still, I don't intend to invite "Oh-my-God-Phoenix You're thinking!!!" reactions now, so lets move to the brighter parts of life now.
RENDEZVOUS is the first word that comes to my mind when I think bright. The second word is messy. Even though on the whole things are moving somewhere, at times everything appears so chaotic, everything so much behind schedule, and the workload so ill-distributed, it's disturbing. I know most of these glitches would be over and smoothened and the fest wd be able to rock, but inefficiency in general always irks me. Gosh! I AM the most dissatisfied person on earth.
Hell, I was supposed to talk of good things right. The five funniest things that come to my mind at the moment are:
1. Shahrukh goody-goody Khan in the LUX ad...Gosh..he's hideous. The pet cry baby of Bollywood is now in the bath tub. (If r an SRK fan, sorry, but I can't stand most of his 40yr-old-loverboy-in a see-through shirt-love-my smile-sequences in movies)
2. The look on Ponting's face when England won the Ashes, and whatever crap has been written/said/happening as an aftermath. Seriously their politcian's can be just like our own Laloo!
3. The hysteria that this JEE pattern change has generated. OK know it's not funny, it's about the career of so many, and I have genuine opinions of my own on this(have actally had heated debates ont his), but the daily sloganeering by FIITJEEians, the mass invasion of insti by the press, footage and interviews of students and profs and absolutely anybody on all channels(which includs me too, for two days I've been shown on Aajtak, Zee etc, plus arbit 'opinion-interviews' at God knows how many channels :D) is kinda amusing.
4. A poem that I wrote, but it's so funny, and so sarcastically funny, and so mindless, but might offend some people, so am not posting it.
5. I realise I can't think of anything funny or good at all. Please read colourful Keeda's and Shalabh's blog(secy sir), links in the side bar, for some genuine fun, and a good read.
-----------------------------
“Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.”
--------------------------------------------------------
I didnt intend to be so serious this morning. But sometimes early mornings on weekends, when the world sleeps, and insomniacs like me think, it happens. Still, I don't intend to invite "Oh-my-God-Phoenix You're thinking!!!" reactions now, so lets move to the brighter parts of life now.
RENDEZVOUS is the first word that comes to my mind when I think bright. The second word is messy. Even though on the whole things are moving somewhere, at times everything appears so chaotic, everything so much behind schedule, and the workload so ill-distributed, it's disturbing. I know most of these glitches would be over and smoothened and the fest wd be able to rock, but inefficiency in general always irks me. Gosh! I AM the most dissatisfied person on earth.
Hell, I was supposed to talk of good things right. The five funniest things that come to my mind at the moment are:
1. Shahrukh goody-goody Khan in the LUX ad...Gosh..he's hideous. The pet cry baby of Bollywood is now in the bath tub. (If r an SRK fan, sorry, but I can't stand most of his 40yr-old-loverboy-in a see-through shirt-love-my smile-sequences in movies)
2. The look on Ponting's face when England won the Ashes, and whatever crap has been written/said/happening as an aftermath. Seriously their politcian's can be just like our own Laloo!
3. The hysteria that this JEE pattern change has generated. OK know it's not funny, it's about the career of so many, and I have genuine opinions of my own on this(have actally had heated debates ont his), but the daily sloganeering by FIITJEEians, the mass invasion of insti by the press, footage and interviews of students and profs and absolutely anybody on all channels(which includs me too, for two days I've been shown on Aajtak, Zee etc, plus arbit 'opinion-interviews' at God knows how many channels :D) is kinda amusing.
4. A poem that I wrote, but it's so funny, and so sarcastically funny, and so mindless, but might offend some people, so am not posting it.
5. I realise I can't think of anything funny or good at all. Please read colourful Keeda's and Shalabh's blog(secy sir), links in the side bar, for some genuine fun, and a good read.
-----------------------------
“Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it.”
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Parting Ways...
This poem is extremely close to my heart. Can't explain why, but I'm just too attached to it. That's why never posted it till today, though it's been quite some time since my writing it. you may not like it, you may not understand it even, or you may find it too ordinary, but it is, and shall remain extremely close to me. I'm posting it today only because someone insisted, and I expect him to give me the reaction now...
PARTING WAYS
A Relationship Turned Sour
When we'd so much to say
There was no time to share...
Love-longing to be expressed
Waited...till it wasn't there.
It isn't there- any more
The twine snapped long ago
Without a whisper the bonds broke
without even letting us know!
The madness of life
Robbed us of itself
We've everything today..
Except-outselves!
Today we've time aplenty
But nothing to tell each other
Today we walk adjacent
But we're not together.
We've never needed to ask questions
There were never any myths to shatter
then-because we knew all answers
Now-because nothing matters!
Somewhere down the way
We lost the meaning of living
The essence of love
The togetherness of being!
The wall's grown taller and stronger
The rifts have become invincible
The emotions have disappeared
The indifference is too visible.
But life has to move on
So from today and thereafter
It's each one his own journey
Alone we move- with our tears and laughter!
Let's leave ourselves to the flow of life
Let's see it takes us where
Just one last thing-
TAKE CARE!!!
A Relationship Turned Sour
When we'd so much to say
There was no time to share...
Love-longing to be expressed
Waited...till it wasn't there.
It isn't there- any more
The twine snapped long ago
Without a whisper the bonds broke
without even letting us know!
The madness of life
Robbed us of itself
We've everything today..
Except-outselves!
Today we've time aplenty
But nothing to tell each other
Today we walk adjacent
But we're not together.
We've never needed to ask questions
There were never any myths to shatter
then-because we knew all answers
Now-because nothing matters!
Somewhere down the way
We lost the meaning of living
The essence of love
The togetherness of being!
The wall's grown taller and stronger
The rifts have become invincible
The emotions have disappeared
The indifference is too visible.
But life has to move on
So from today and thereafter
It's each one his own journey
Alone we move- with our tears and laughter!
Let's leave ourselves to the flow of life
Let's see it takes us where
Just one last thing-
TAKE CARE!!!
WORDLESS
I'm at a loss of words again. I have been tagged to write a story, but 55 words is impossible for me. Anyway, have no mood to write more crap. I have lots of opinions on lots of things but I can't write that, because either I don't know how to put that feeling in words, or I'm reminded of the reprimand that I recently got: "You have an opinion on almost everything, how can you think and know so much about everything!". I'm scared of the person who scolded me with this, and I also realise I deserved the rebuke, and that having an opinion on everything is a very bad thing. So I won't say it. The third reason is that I want to write about some people..people around me, friends, foes and aquaintances, who affect me because they're a part of my life, or atleast my immediate environment, but I can't write it for I fear offending someone, somewhere. I'm always genuinely intrigued by people, and the complexities of their mind. I like understanding people. I like approaching situations from the points of view and understanding of another mind. I like smiling and crying 'with' others. This is one process that helps even a self-obsessesed attention-crazy maniac like me to forget myself. I especially like people who are unpredictable: with them you always have this uncertainty of "what next"and that's what makes life interesting! It's my luck I have quite a few people around me at the moment who fall into the category and that's why life, and my thought trains, have become fun these days. Some of them read this blog, some read it and do not want to publicise that they do, and the remaining don't, but in most cases there's a friend who does. I'm normally very honest with what I feel about anything and anyone-rather I'm way too blunt!- which means I say absolutely whatever I feel about him/her to the person concerned on his/her face. The only problem is, if I write all that here, several others will read it too, and more than that, I fear being misunderstood and misquoted even with the person concerned. Gawd, couldn't things be a little easier! These days even a genuine expression of respect is taken spectically and with a BAG of salt. Praise doesn't necessarily have to be loaded with malice, or coupled with selfishness and buttering. Sometimes, it CAN be heartfelt. Sarcasm is a good thing, but only as long as one does not hunt for it everywhere.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
ABSOLUTELY RANDOM
Lots has been discussed in blogosphere not too long ago about JEE, the pattern, the examination etc. etc. Yesterday's press release about the final word from the authorities on the changing pattern predictably caused a few discussions and more than a few reactions. And why not? JEE is taken by so many people, a drastic change like this afects so many people. Esp. some of the proposed changes are going to affect a certain section in students very badly. From what I feel, I think three clauses could be relaxed for this year's examination at least, for it's already September and so many students would have made decisions relying on JEE-2006, that it would be grossly unfair to them to force sch changes immediately although at least I support the change in the question format.These three are:
a. They shd aloow second time droppers o give JEE this yr. What about those who have already dropped? It's too late for them to secure admission elsewhere. Their career can be destroyed with this.
b. For this yr at lst, 12th std exams shd be delinked, or at least the 60% criteria should be removed. This is also mainly for the benefit of droppers, who can't change anything NOW.
c.This rule of not allowing IITians to sit for JEE again is too arbit. Atleast if imposed suddenly.
--------------------------
Now, the funny part. I was woken up from a (very rare) half-an-hour afternoon siesta by both a realisation that I has a tut at 3, and a noice of Hai-hai and more slogans that was eching in my room, and infact the whole hostel. a little investigation revealed there was a huge crowd assembled at the main gate protesting against the pattern change. Basically, FIITJEEians who'd nothing better to do. But it was all exciting stuff and all kinds of reports came out from there. there were TV reports too, but thankfully or unluckily, it's been ages since I even went near the TV.
-------------------------
The Ashes have finally returned to England. Finally, the Australians have lost! And the English victory is well deserved too. Also Pieterson has finally announced himself in the world arena. Warney rocks. So does the English team, for playing good cricket.
--------------------------
Witnessed at the superannuation ceremony of two professors in a departmental function:
A. A "matki"(M.Tech. female student, for the unaware junta) giving a tehnical presentation in a frog's voice.
B. A Prof. dozing off in a technical presentation! Wasn't it always the othe way round.....Perhaps not always, Kyunki prof bhi kabhi student the...
C. One of the retiring profs narrated an incident from a few yrs back when the only two students in his course happening to get A's were both females. Naturally, the guys felt wronged and apparently went and told
the prof this...
"sir aapne dono bandiyon ko ikke diye hai..not fair"
"Beta jaise aapko ladkiyan achhi lagti hain, waise humein bhi lagti hain!"
Everyone but one of the two females in question, who was sitting right in front and also happens to be the current G.Sec. of the dep society, was into peals of laughter.
----------------------------
Getting up at 7 and attending a function I wouldn't have attended at all had I not been asked to compere: Sad, so minus 100 bucks.
Free tea and snacks: 50 bucks
Free lunch at Sip n Bite, coupled with the joy of avoiding Mess lunch: Rs. 500/-
Taking SKG's(my prof+ Ass. Dean of students) snap when he's almost lying down in the chair, with eyes shut, mouth half open and both his sleeves and trousers folded up: Priceless!!!!!!!!!!
-----------------------------
A fucha asked me today: 'Mam, REN-DEZZZ-VUSSS' ki date kya hai?'
-----------------------------
I now have Rock show volunteership too, in addition to deco and marketing plus other stff that I already have. gosh, am i enjoying myself!
(The only sad part is that I coudn't go for a non-comp quiz though I wanted to, for I was occupied with too many things and got late. Still, i atleast went there for some time later, when I got a chance, just to get a feel of it.)
----------------------------
It's been raining for two days now, and the weather is lovely. Somehow, good weather always cheers me up. i think I'm someone who's greatly affected by space-time coordinates. I dont think it's a very good thing.
Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it
----------------------------
Rajat hasn't called up at all after that day, forget turning up. In a way, it's good, but this way all the excitement is killed. [:(]. I was almost hoping at one point he turned up. anyway, good riddance!
---------------------------
Why have I become such an insomniac?I have been working all day, it's already past 4, and I know i'll attend my 8 am class tmrw.
a. They shd aloow second time droppers o give JEE this yr. What about those who have already dropped? It's too late for them to secure admission elsewhere. Their career can be destroyed with this.
b. For this yr at lst, 12th std exams shd be delinked, or at least the 60% criteria should be removed. This is also mainly for the benefit of droppers, who can't change anything NOW.
c.This rule of not allowing IITians to sit for JEE again is too arbit. Atleast if imposed suddenly.
--------------------------
Now, the funny part. I was woken up from a (very rare) half-an-hour afternoon siesta by both a realisation that I has a tut at 3, and a noice of Hai-hai and more slogans that was eching in my room, and infact the whole hostel. a little investigation revealed there was a huge crowd assembled at the main gate protesting against the pattern change. Basically, FIITJEEians who'd nothing better to do. But it was all exciting stuff and all kinds of reports came out from there. there were TV reports too, but thankfully or unluckily, it's been ages since I even went near the TV.
-------------------------
The Ashes have finally returned to England. Finally, the Australians have lost! And the English victory is well deserved too. Also Pieterson has finally announced himself in the world arena. Warney rocks. So does the English team, for playing good cricket.
--------------------------
Witnessed at the superannuation ceremony of two professors in a departmental function:
A. A "matki"(M.Tech. female student, for the unaware junta) giving a tehnical presentation in a frog's voice.
B. A Prof. dozing off in a technical presentation! Wasn't it always the othe way round.....Perhaps not always, Kyunki prof bhi kabhi student the...
C. One of the retiring profs narrated an incident from a few yrs back when the only two students in his course happening to get A's were both females. Naturally, the guys felt wronged and apparently went and told
the prof this...
"sir aapne dono bandiyon ko ikke diye hai..not fair"
"Beta jaise aapko ladkiyan achhi lagti hain, waise humein bhi lagti hain!"
Everyone but one of the two females in question, who was sitting right in front and also happens to be the current G.Sec. of the dep society, was into peals of laughter.
----------------------------
Getting up at 7 and attending a function I wouldn't have attended at all had I not been asked to compere: Sad, so minus 100 bucks.
Free tea and snacks: 50 bucks
Free lunch at Sip n Bite, coupled with the joy of avoiding Mess lunch: Rs. 500/-
Taking SKG's(my prof+ Ass. Dean of students) snap when he's almost lying down in the chair, with eyes shut, mouth half open and both his sleeves and trousers folded up: Priceless!!!!!!!!!!
-----------------------------
A fucha asked me today: 'Mam, REN-DEZZZ-VUSSS' ki date kya hai?'
-----------------------------
I now have Rock show volunteership too, in addition to deco and marketing plus other stff that I already have. gosh, am i enjoying myself!
(The only sad part is that I coudn't go for a non-comp quiz though I wanted to, for I was occupied with too many things and got late. Still, i atleast went there for some time later, when I got a chance, just to get a feel of it.)
----------------------------
It's been raining for two days now, and the weather is lovely. Somehow, good weather always cheers me up. i think I'm someone who's greatly affected by space-time coordinates. I dont think it's a very good thing.
Money is the opposite of the weather. Nobody talks about it, but everybody does something about it
----------------------------
Rajat hasn't called up at all after that day, forget turning up. In a way, it's good, but this way all the excitement is killed. [:(]. I was almost hoping at one point he turned up. anyway, good riddance!
---------------------------
Why have I become such an insomniac?I have been working all day, it's already past 4, and I know i'll attend my 8 am class tmrw.
Sunday, September 11, 2005
GENDER NO BAR...
GENDER NO BAR
What do you look for in a person who you make a friend? In other words, what all, according to you, are qualities or characteristics that should be present in someone to become a friend of yours? What are the parameters you judge people on, in general? I'm sure all of you have an immediate list of ready, predictable answers to these questions...Most of you would say nature, opinion, likes/dislikes, behaviour, the amount of trust you can place in him, comfort levels, wavelength matching and other different-names-for-the-same-thing. Some would add convenience to the list, but that's just about it. How many people add 'looks' to that list? As in, do appearances matter? Does someone who looks very smart or beautiful stands a better chance with you of becoming your friend, rather than someone who's this ultra-dark/short/fat/ugly/unpresentable in appearance? Does the latter automatically lose out a few points on your marking scale? Of course, I'm not talking of the opposite sex in particular, rather only everyone in the most general terms, for I do not want to adulterate the pure'friendship' issue that I'm keen on examining with other inspired sentiments about the opposite sex, if you know what I mean.
Which brings me to the second, and the more important question, which is something I've always been wondering about, and I guess several people have raised it from time to time in their own ways too- Is gender a consideration when you make a friend? Does one make friends with a girl or a guy, or with a person? Can a person of the opposite sex become as good a friend of yours as someone of the same sex? Yes? No? Even better? Is the answer different for you if you are a boy or a girl? And finally, can a girl and a guy be the best/closest of friends, or does love always have to come in between?
I know I'm not asking anything new, or radical, but these issues are somehow important, at least to me, and of late I've thought a lot about this. The thought process was mainly triggered by this mini-novel kind of a long story that I sat down to write these vacations, called TOGETHER, on precisely this issue. I never got beyond thinking the end, the names of the characters, the beginning and a basic plot(in that order) as far as the story is concerned. (I typed out exactly 2.5 MS Word pages, and that's it!). But while trying to put everything into words, into the form of a story I thought so much that eventually I ran out of words. I never wrote that story, and dont intend to, for I'm sure nobody would understand it, and I don't want to explain it to anyone either. Some things are best left not being too explicitly expressed. I was, at that time, extremely satisfied with the whole mind-exercise, but of late, I've been thinking on similar lines again.
As far as I'm concerned, I'm someone who makes a lot of friends, and whenever I make someone a friend I never ever consider whether it's a girl or a guy in question. To me, the person, his/her thoughts, behaviour, the human being himself, is all that's important. That's also the reason why I talk to a large number of people easily and rather quickly, because I look at them as fellow human beings and do not waste a lot of time in being hesitant. But then it's a fact that sometimes my being so easy-going is misconstrued by a lot of people. I'm advised to use more discretion, and that's perfectly sane advice, and although I've become more discrete lately, I cannot completely understand how judgements can be arrived at without even knowing the person concerned one bit, and dictated either by hearsay or by perception/hesitation-induced prejudices. Anyway, that's something that can be left aside for the moment.
What I really want to know is the whole funda about cross-sex friendships. I know of people who say that the bonding between two people of the same sex is unparalleled in any friendship including opposite sexes. Like two guys can go get drunk together, abuse together, discuss how well does the latest brand of shaving cream they used foam as compared with the earlier one, and stuff like that. Similarly, there are things that only girls can talk within themselves- ranging from their emotional stresses to shopping trivia to stuff that I won't mention here for I don't want to divulge too many of our secrets.[:D] But then again, there are things that are best suited to cross-sex friendships. Very often there are things u cannot tell a friend of the same gender as u, because either they can't understand it well, or there are other issues. I know of several guys who don't share their stresses and insecurities, esp. emotional and personal level issues with their closest male friends, but find it more comfortable to talk them out with a female friend like me. Perhaps they find that girls understand better, and are better listeners, esp for touchy issues. Perhaps the other guys in their hostels take everything too much as a joke. Similarly there are often problems based on ego clashes or similar things between two girl-friends or even two-boyfriends(though must confess, this happens more in females) which one finds it easy to share with someone from the other gender.
I have more male friends than female friends, but that doesn't mean I don't have female friends at all. Quality wise all of them are on a comparable level, and to a large extent the difference in quantity can be attributed to the atmosphere i live in. If there exists a ratio of 10:1 in the number of guys:girls around me, it should not be too much of a surprise that in my frnds list this ratio is 3 or 4:1. I'm very comfortable with both kinds of friendships, though sometimes I find cross-sex friendships to be more 'complete'. Still, that's a personal opinion. I kind-of like the way everyone puts a certain bound on himself/herself in a cross-sexual friendship. I find this limitation not a hindrance, but infact, empowering, though this is certainly open for debate. Having said that, the intimacy of a same-sex friendship is also worth relishing mostly.
What bothers me, is the fear of being misunderstood in a cross-sexual friendship-both by the junta(esp in a place like IIT) and the person in question. I know there are limits to everything, but I ask again..does love, and an angle like that, always HAVE to come in between? I've lost a few close friendships because of things like this, and have hated it. If two people. of the opposite sex, develop very good understanding and compatibility, is it NECESSARY, that they either commit into a relationship, or fall apart?
Is your gender a bar to your eligibility of being a friend?
What do you look for in a person who you make a friend? In other words, what all, according to you, are qualities or characteristics that should be present in someone to become a friend of yours? What are the parameters you judge people on, in general? I'm sure all of you have an immediate list of ready, predictable answers to these questions...Most of you would say nature, opinion, likes/dislikes, behaviour, the amount of trust you can place in him, comfort levels, wavelength matching and other different-names-for-the-same-thing. Some would add convenience to the list, but that's just about it. How many people add 'looks' to that list? As in, do appearances matter? Does someone who looks very smart or beautiful stands a better chance with you of becoming your friend, rather than someone who's this ultra-dark/short/fat/ugly/unpresentable in appearance? Does the latter automatically lose out a few points on your marking scale? Of course, I'm not talking of the opposite sex in particular, rather only everyone in the most general terms, for I do not want to adulterate the pure'friendship' issue that I'm keen on examining with other inspired sentiments about the opposite sex, if you know what I mean.
Which brings me to the second, and the more important question, which is something I've always been wondering about, and I guess several people have raised it from time to time in their own ways too- Is gender a consideration when you make a friend? Does one make friends with a girl or a guy, or with a person? Can a person of the opposite sex become as good a friend of yours as someone of the same sex? Yes? No? Even better? Is the answer different for you if you are a boy or a girl? And finally, can a girl and a guy be the best/closest of friends, or does love always have to come in between?
I know I'm not asking anything new, or radical, but these issues are somehow important, at least to me, and of late I've thought a lot about this. The thought process was mainly triggered by this mini-novel kind of a long story that I sat down to write these vacations, called TOGETHER, on precisely this issue. I never got beyond thinking the end, the names of the characters, the beginning and a basic plot(in that order) as far as the story is concerned. (I typed out exactly 2.5 MS Word pages, and that's it!). But while trying to put everything into words, into the form of a story I thought so much that eventually I ran out of words. I never wrote that story, and dont intend to, for I'm sure nobody would understand it, and I don't want to explain it to anyone either. Some things are best left not being too explicitly expressed. I was, at that time, extremely satisfied with the whole mind-exercise, but of late, I've been thinking on similar lines again.
As far as I'm concerned, I'm someone who makes a lot of friends, and whenever I make someone a friend I never ever consider whether it's a girl or a guy in question. To me, the person, his/her thoughts, behaviour, the human being himself, is all that's important. That's also the reason why I talk to a large number of people easily and rather quickly, because I look at them as fellow human beings and do not waste a lot of time in being hesitant. But then it's a fact that sometimes my being so easy-going is misconstrued by a lot of people. I'm advised to use more discretion, and that's perfectly sane advice, and although I've become more discrete lately, I cannot completely understand how judgements can be arrived at without even knowing the person concerned one bit, and dictated either by hearsay or by perception/hesitation-induced prejudices. Anyway, that's something that can be left aside for the moment.
What I really want to know is the whole funda about cross-sex friendships. I know of people who say that the bonding between two people of the same sex is unparalleled in any friendship including opposite sexes. Like two guys can go get drunk together, abuse together, discuss how well does the latest brand of shaving cream they used foam as compared with the earlier one, and stuff like that. Similarly, there are things that only girls can talk within themselves- ranging from their emotional stresses to shopping trivia to stuff that I won't mention here for I don't want to divulge too many of our secrets.[:D] But then again, there are things that are best suited to cross-sex friendships. Very often there are things u cannot tell a friend of the same gender as u, because either they can't understand it well, or there are other issues. I know of several guys who don't share their stresses and insecurities, esp. emotional and personal level issues with their closest male friends, but find it more comfortable to talk them out with a female friend like me. Perhaps they find that girls understand better, and are better listeners, esp for touchy issues. Perhaps the other guys in their hostels take everything too much as a joke. Similarly there are often problems based on ego clashes or similar things between two girl-friends or even two-boyfriends(though must confess, this happens more in females) which one finds it easy to share with someone from the other gender.
I have more male friends than female friends, but that doesn't mean I don't have female friends at all. Quality wise all of them are on a comparable level, and to a large extent the difference in quantity can be attributed to the atmosphere i live in. If there exists a ratio of 10:1 in the number of guys:girls around me, it should not be too much of a surprise that in my frnds list this ratio is 3 or 4:1. I'm very comfortable with both kinds of friendships, though sometimes I find cross-sex friendships to be more 'complete'. Still, that's a personal opinion. I kind-of like the way everyone puts a certain bound on himself/herself in a cross-sexual friendship. I find this limitation not a hindrance, but infact, empowering, though this is certainly open for debate. Having said that, the intimacy of a same-sex friendship is also worth relishing mostly.
What bothers me, is the fear of being misunderstood in a cross-sexual friendship-both by the junta(esp in a place like IIT) and the person in question. I know there are limits to everything, but I ask again..does love, and an angle like that, always HAVE to come in between? I've lost a few close friendships because of things like this, and have hated it. If two people. of the opposite sex, develop very good understanding and compatibility, is it NECESSARY, that they either commit into a relationship, or fall apart?
Is your gender a bar to your eligibility of being a friend?
Saturday, September 10, 2005
TAKEN...
I look at him, for ten full seconds
Then slowly let the eyelids fall
A brief interlude of darknes, and I've
Managed to absorb within, a part of him, small.
Slowly but surely, drop by drop
Fragments of him gather inside
Slowly his spirit gains form and substance
A little bit of him, within me, resides.
Trickle by trickle, trifle by trifle
My own self becomes irrelevant, diminutive
He begins to fuse with me, or rather, I, with him
And everything begins to be one, homogenous, definitive.
He throws back his head- a casual glance
Sideways- towards me, and my heart stops beating
He probably sees through me, and quickly returns anyway
To himself, to his world, so that I can resume breathing.
My passions deepen; I'm more and more enamoured
Of him, of his existence; Oh Yes! I'm 'taken'!!!
And that's why I know one day he'll know
That's why I know one day we'll be one.
Then slowly let the eyelids fall
A brief interlude of darknes, and I've
Managed to absorb within, a part of him, small.
Slowly but surely, drop by drop
Fragments of him gather inside
Slowly his spirit gains form and substance
A little bit of him, within me, resides.
Trickle by trickle, trifle by trifle
My own self becomes irrelevant, diminutive
He begins to fuse with me, or rather, I, with him
And everything begins to be one, homogenous, definitive.
He throws back his head- a casual glance
Sideways- towards me, and my heart stops beating
He probably sees through me, and quickly returns anyway
To himself, to his world, so that I can resume breathing.
My passions deepen; I'm more and more enamoured
Of him, of his existence; Oh Yes! I'm 'taken'!!!
And that's why I know one day he'll know
That's why I know one day we'll be one.
Friday, September 09, 2005
LOOSE ENDS...
Wow, life has become hectic all of a sudden, very very hectic, and since it hardly includes any studies/exams/assignments (atleast not in the foreground, and thus not significantly), I'm really really enjoying myself. I love being busy, of course only when I'm doing things I like, and I love these 3-hour-sleep-a-day schedules that I've gotten into, mostly voluntarily. So for everyone who's surprised by my sudden absences from hangout-zones and the online-realm AFTER the minors, be re-assured of your good luck-you indeed have some respite from me for some time! Which doesn't mean I won't blog, or comment, or reply to a scrap/mail you write. Just that i'd waste fewer hours chatting and thinking crazy stuff, temporarily.
Most definitely the prime reason for the increased activity in my already currently-happening life is RENDEZVOUS, the IITD fest, which is very very near. Not that i'm doing much in it, I probably won't end up doing anything substantial at all, but I've a lot of titbits in hand, and basically the energy in the whole atmosphere around me sets my adrenaline flowing. Currently I spend around seven hours a day in the practices of a play I'll most probably not even act in, then I've voluntary work for Rendezvous marketing, some things like compering some arbit-departmental-function-tomorrow-I-know-nothing-about are suddenly cropping up from nowhere, and there's an Intra fest in the hostel soon as well.
Till yesterday, I also had my non-comp event TURNCOAT that i'd recently mentioned to worry about. Thankfully, the event went off well. None of the worst-case scenarios I'd been thinking of and arranging backups for actually materialised. And nobody has till now told me something like "That was sooooo boring!" "Or it sucked!". So I'm happy. And grateful, to everyone-the participants (we managed 50+; inspite of the fact that lots of the good speakers are either busy with Rendezvous related work, or were actually the judges last evening!:P), the judges, the common room, the luck, God (esp. because there were no powere cuts).............I'm actually tempted to type in my uncle, my dog, my school teacher, my Thermodynamics professor, his dog, my neighbour, the guards of Kailash, the guards of Aravali, his dog, etc etc to the list!!! And add to it the O-my-gosh-I'm-the-miss-India look!
:D
Keeping the crap aside, the other good things happening currently are as follows...
- I've got two of my minor answer scripts today, and I guess they were the best ones anyway. So the scores (30/30 in one, and 32/40 in the other) have pushed my enthu up. (Although I hate having got that 8-mark deduction simply because I wrote the word "system" instead of "this question/situation/case" once in an entire answer! I really feel sometimes that there are only 10 types of profs in IITD: those who understand binary, and only binary, and therefore mark abs/zuk depending on your final answer; or those who dont understand binary and give u zuks anyway.
- Mr. Rajat called up again. I spoke to him very very patiently for >15 minutes. Nothing much came out, but he said he wanted me to see him, and wanted me to meet him. So i've called him to college. And he's coming, soon (I haven't got the exact details yet). Of course, I'll not handle him alone, and I suspect it'll be fun![;)] WATCH THIS SPACE FOR MORE...
- I finally figured out the mystery behind my 50000-hits-a-day on this blog problem. Hopefully that shall be sorted out soon.
- I have met three very old friends, and made four new friends over the last ten days. The options of topics i've to think about, and the variety is thrilling!
- Today's the 9th of September...9/9 that is. It's our official "9Tanks Day"; 9Tanks is what we call our group of friends, my first group of frnds here that I easily got into, because most of them being Delhites/attachees were already friends/acquaintances when we stepped in here. Today we're celebrating the first birthday of the group![:P] We all turned out in white+blue as a dress code too. Unfortunately, our plans for an evening out have been cancelled because of everyone being busy with something in the evning.[:(] By the way, for anyone wondering, "Why 9Tanks?", the logic is simple...9Tanks=Nau+ Tankees in hindi=nautanki= absolute dramebaz junta, which we proudly are...YEAR'S BIGGEST UCHHALUS.
So now that I've tied up the loose ends in this diary by filling the details in, I better tie the ends open in the real life too: I've a mountain of pending submissions, a meeting in an hour, and practices 8-4 to be done today.
Cya!
Thursday, September 08, 2005
RAIN
It was raining that night. And she was all alone.
For half a second, everything was bright. The puddles on the road gleamed and drops shone in the light as they struck a boulder and bounced backwards to hit the anthouse at the bottom of the old banyan tree below which she was standing. the anthouse was flooded, and destroyed. Much like the destruction that had set in her own life. Or atleast, was about to. But for the moment, for at least that half a second, everything was bright.
Lightning had struck, and inevitably, was followed by thunder. Far away, lightning had struck at the top of an ailing mother's hut waiting for her two daughters and electrocuted her instantly. But here, that was invisible and hence unknown. It was only the deafening thunder that was tangible here, the thunder that lasted several seconds and made her shiver, although it is hard to tell whether she was shivering because of the thunder, or because of the chill of the wet night, or because of fear. She looked around and saw noone. There was no help, and no danger either, yet. She was scared but she knew there was no turning back now. Lightning had struck, she was only waiting for the thunder now.
She had come too far by now, and the only path was forward. For a moment she wanted to give up, and run back to the security of her mother's lap and sister's embrace. She looked back in the direction of the road she had come from. If she ran back, it would take her thirteen minutes and twenty-two seconds to return to the safety of her home, with water dripping copiuosly from her clothes as well as her eyes. It seemed tempting, but she knew she couldn't do that. She'd taken a decision, and she had to stick to it now. That decision had propelled her to hunt for that small envelope from her purse on the back of which was written the number of her future employer and then make the one call that was shortly going to change her life forever. She had come too far by now.
Those were the last few moments. The last of the ants still left struggling against drowning in the same waters that had swept away its home and family now found itself giving up. Far away, a drenched asthamatic twelve-yard old had returned home to find the entire house dark, and the dead, frozen body of her ill mother, still holding the metallic railing of the window. Shock had stunned her for a moment, and immediately she was struck by a severe attack. She yelled for help, but there was nobody else, and her hysteria was subdued in the clamour of the noisy raindrops and croaking frogs outside the window. but here, all that was invisible and unknown. She glanced at her watch. she knew, those were the last few moments.
The storm had abated, or so it seemed. The turbulent winds had died down, and even the rains had become less harsh, steadier and slower. There was no trace of any ant-houses under the banyan tree. Far away, two dead bodies lay undetected in a ruined house, a ruined home. Those were the only two people she cared for, the only two people she had in this world. They were the reason she was here now. She had seen their misery, she had seen their illness, she had seen their poverty, she had seen their hunger, and then, she'd seen enough. She saw all this and decided to overlook her own emotion, self-respect, desire and individuality. She could see the headlights at the corner of the road now. Soon she'd get into that Limousine and leave- leave her sense of dignity, her love for life and living, her self-esteem and all the morals behind. She had a test to pass tonight. If she was judged good enough after today's one-night stand, she would get the golden pportunity to spend her entire youth as yet another mistress of her generous employer. If not, at least the money she'd earn tonight was enough to pay for a week of her mother and sister's medicines and food. Then she'd have to look for more one-night deals. She got into the limousine and the rain stopped. The storm had abated, leaving only destruction behind.
It had been raining that night, and she was all alone.
For half a second, everything was bright. The puddles on the road gleamed and drops shone in the light as they struck a boulder and bounced backwards to hit the anthouse at the bottom of the old banyan tree below which she was standing. the anthouse was flooded, and destroyed. Much like the destruction that had set in her own life. Or atleast, was about to. But for the moment, for at least that half a second, everything was bright.
Lightning had struck, and inevitably, was followed by thunder. Far away, lightning had struck at the top of an ailing mother's hut waiting for her two daughters and electrocuted her instantly. But here, that was invisible and hence unknown. It was only the deafening thunder that was tangible here, the thunder that lasted several seconds and made her shiver, although it is hard to tell whether she was shivering because of the thunder, or because of the chill of the wet night, or because of fear. She looked around and saw noone. There was no help, and no danger either, yet. She was scared but she knew there was no turning back now. Lightning had struck, she was only waiting for the thunder now.
She had come too far by now, and the only path was forward. For a moment she wanted to give up, and run back to the security of her mother's lap and sister's embrace. She looked back in the direction of the road she had come from. If she ran back, it would take her thirteen minutes and twenty-two seconds to return to the safety of her home, with water dripping copiuosly from her clothes as well as her eyes. It seemed tempting, but she knew she couldn't do that. She'd taken a decision, and she had to stick to it now. That decision had propelled her to hunt for that small envelope from her purse on the back of which was written the number of her future employer and then make the one call that was shortly going to change her life forever. She had come too far by now.
Those were the last few moments. The last of the ants still left struggling against drowning in the same waters that had swept away its home and family now found itself giving up. Far away, a drenched asthamatic twelve-yard old had returned home to find the entire house dark, and the dead, frozen body of her ill mother, still holding the metallic railing of the window. Shock had stunned her for a moment, and immediately she was struck by a severe attack. She yelled for help, but there was nobody else, and her hysteria was subdued in the clamour of the noisy raindrops and croaking frogs outside the window. but here, all that was invisible and unknown. She glanced at her watch. she knew, those were the last few moments.
The storm had abated, or so it seemed. The turbulent winds had died down, and even the rains had become less harsh, steadier and slower. There was no trace of any ant-houses under the banyan tree. Far away, two dead bodies lay undetected in a ruined house, a ruined home. Those were the only two people she cared for, the only two people she had in this world. They were the reason she was here now. She had seen their misery, she had seen their illness, she had seen their poverty, she had seen their hunger, and then, she'd seen enough. She saw all this and decided to overlook her own emotion, self-respect, desire and individuality. She could see the headlights at the corner of the road now. Soon she'd get into that Limousine and leave- leave her sense of dignity, her love for life and living, her self-esteem and all the morals behind. She had a test to pass tonight. If she was judged good enough after today's one-night stand, she would get the golden pportunity to spend her entire youth as yet another mistress of her generous employer. If not, at least the money she'd earn tonight was enough to pay for a week of her mother and sister's medicines and food. Then she'd have to look for more one-night deals. She got into the limousine and the rain stopped. The storm had abated, leaving only destruction behind.
It had been raining that night, and she was all alone.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
TURNCOAT...
What a wonderful word...Seems to describe some of the people I recently encountered so well, that I've almost fallen in love with it. I had always thought 'renegade`' the synonym was more apt and sophisticated, but somehow Turncoat has a humorous, livelier connotation.
Reminds me of the 'poltu' (political/election time, for the uninitiated) season...esp when I still occasionally suffer/see/experience the aftermath of the great yearly saga whose 2005 edition supposedly ended 4 months back.
Anyway, what's life in IIT if u remove the poltu. Somehow, it's THE fun element in everything that happens, surprisingly even "academic"things at times! I never paid much attention to it,. But sometimes, when some one points it out, it starts becoming too obvious....
Nazar nazar ki baat hai, khel badalte waqt ka hai
Forget it, word analysis or poltu nostalgia are not what I had intended to write this post on, though somehow they're connected! I wanted to describe my non-comp event, my 'first'(and probably only) non-comp event as a rep, which we're organising tomorrow, 8th of September(Aravali house , 7:30, just in case....:P).(Did someone say çheap(?) publicity tactic? Duh..Evenn if u did, Idon'tt care!)
Somehow I've been enthu about it, though life these days is as hectic as it can get, wt with my 'hukka'presentation in 15 mins for which i'm only hald prepared, and events, Rendezvous, play etc taking my time. Anyway, to cut it short, TURNCOAT is an extempore 'speaking'event, like debates, where a speaker gets a topic to speak on(after 3 mins of preparation) and is randomly asked to switch his stance from FOR to AGAINST or vice-versa several times in his speech, at the judge's discretion. I've participated in several such events, not in IIT though, where the only 'similar'event that ever happens is a slightly more boring variation of this in Hindi Samiti, and i know it's fun. It's fun to contradict yourself all of a sudden when u r in the middle of a rhetoric over your strongest point. It's fun to brush up your 'poltu'skills, and get prizes for that. I just hope, pray, beg to God that this event happens fine, and successfully.
And God, no more jinxes puh-lleeeeeeeeeasse. Please let the electricity be!
P.S. All IITD junta reading this, I expect to see you there. I know I'll...you are such good people after all!!!As my poster says, "BE THERE, OR BE THERE....." You DON'T have a choice...
:D
P.P.S. For any other queries, feel free to ask me, or read the notice boards! :P
P.P.P.S. There'll be refreshments! ;)
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Monday, September 05, 2005
Have a Break..(else skip this one,)
Have had a lot of fun this truncated weekend, and am actually feeling good about life. I don't know why, but I always have believed that things actually being good was a fact far more significant and meaningful than you felling them as good. Somehow it's the perception tat's impostant, the impact that's relevant. Anyway, I better spare myself some philosophy at the moment. It'a almost four in the night, and I have had a tiring day. If I don't sleep by four, which I won't if another of my philosophical debates-with-myself round starts off, then I'm sure to sleep off in the exam tomorrow. (That's one thing i hate as much as i'm likely to...if I find questions/boring/too easy/ strictly laborious, I either sleep off, or walk out of the hall without completing my paper. May sound untrue, but I've actually done this.)
All right, here's some of what I did...
Category: FAVORITES> MADNESS
Ate a lot of roadside junk food on Saturday. dunno why, but it's sooo tasty always. I know my doc would kill me if he gets to know, but I don't really care. The bottomline is that the unclean, ugly, roadside food is just sooo tasty, and cheap.
(P.S. All advice on hygeine and related stuff is strictly unsolicited.)
Category: LIVE PERFORMANCES
Actually saw a tonga race on Delhi roads. A proper official race, complete with people following on scooters, cheering etc. and here's the most surprising part, on South Delhi roads! Infact, on outer Rong road that runs outside IITD, atop the Panchsheel flyover, at around 5. I knew that such races are officially held, often with police permission and crowd support, in old Delhi around Jama Masjid area, on Sundays. But I was so amused and surprised to see it here , that I immediately stopped my car and waited to enjoy the event in full flow. Somehow, generations before us had so much leisure in their lives. Much more entertainment than today's gadget-enslaved lives.
Category: FUN ON THE BOX
Was home for sometime. Caught half an episode of KOFFEE WITH KARAN with an almost intolerable Kareena and a surprisingly dumb Rani Mukherjee( somehow I believed she was rather intelligent, until last night) as the guests. Ended up yet again that Karan Johar is too clever an interviewer. He managed some real 'sensationally controversial' statements out of the two ladies. And of crse, they did what women are infamous about- bitch behind the back about another woman. The funniest was when Fardeen Khan, on a special appearance , on being asked to rate the sex appeal of the two ladies, "Of crse Bebo, she has a cuter a**", followed by "Ya, rani's is good too, but Kareena is better." Huh?
Category: EVESDROPPING
Was travelling by the bus. As usual, a lot of intersting conversations are often overheard in public transport, but this one was hilarous...two women bitching abt their respective mothers-in-law, being interrupted and almost scolded by an elderly uncle, who asked them not to discuss these issues in public, for it was bad influence( he was pointing at me and the girl sitting next to me!!)
Category: FAVOURITES> GHAR KA KHANA
Now this one is pure bliss. Got one proper dinner at home, and a grand lunch at a relatives place. Jealous anyone?
There's some more, and some that's too personal, and plenty else that I want to write. Maybe tomorrow, after the exam ends(as if exams make much difference to me!)
All right, here's some of what I did...
Category: FAVORITES> MADNESS
Ate a lot of roadside junk food on Saturday. dunno why, but it's sooo tasty always. I know my doc would kill me if he gets to know, but I don't really care. The bottomline is that the unclean, ugly, roadside food is just sooo tasty, and cheap.
(P.S. All advice on hygeine and related stuff is strictly unsolicited.)
Category: LIVE PERFORMANCES
Actually saw a tonga race on Delhi roads. A proper official race, complete with people following on scooters, cheering etc. and here's the most surprising part, on South Delhi roads! Infact, on outer Rong road that runs outside IITD, atop the Panchsheel flyover, at around 5. I knew that such races are officially held, often with police permission and crowd support, in old Delhi around Jama Masjid area, on Sundays. But I was so amused and surprised to see it here , that I immediately stopped my car and waited to enjoy the event in full flow. Somehow, generations before us had so much leisure in their lives. Much more entertainment than today's gadget-enslaved lives.
Category: FUN ON THE BOX
Was home for sometime. Caught half an episode of KOFFEE WITH KARAN with an almost intolerable Kareena and a surprisingly dumb Rani Mukherjee( somehow I believed she was rather intelligent, until last night) as the guests. Ended up yet again that Karan Johar is too clever an interviewer. He managed some real 'sensationally controversial' statements out of the two ladies. And of crse, they did what women are infamous about- bitch behind the back about another woman. The funniest was when Fardeen Khan, on a special appearance , on being asked to rate the sex appeal of the two ladies, "Of crse Bebo, she has a cuter a**", followed by "Ya, rani's is good too, but Kareena is better." Huh?
Category: EVESDROPPING
Was travelling by the bus. As usual, a lot of intersting conversations are often overheard in public transport, but this one was hilarous...two women bitching abt their respective mothers-in-law, being interrupted and almost scolded by an elderly uncle, who asked them not to discuss these issues in public, for it was bad influence( he was pointing at me and the girl sitting next to me!!)
Category: FAVOURITES> GHAR KA KHANA
Now this one is pure bliss. Got one proper dinner at home, and a grand lunch at a relatives place. Jealous anyone?
There's some more, and some that's too personal, and plenty else that I want to write. Maybe tomorrow, after the exam ends(as if exams make much difference to me!)
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Minor issues..
What do you call someone who spends the 23 hours preceding two exams they know almost NOTHING about, self-confessed, whiling away time on the net, on blogs and messengers, on arbit thought journeys, on talking nonsense, on crappy writing, on scolding friends to study, on planning out fruitlessly what all to study just half an hour later-of course, the half an hour never came- on feeling sleepy, but not even sleeping....someone who does all this and ruins the paper completely, and still grins.."All right 5 down, one to go!" upon submission of a blank(almost) answer sheet?
Stupid? Crazy? Mad? Phoenix?
Synonyms.
:D
PS. Don't think I feel any guilty...I have another exam on monday, and have elaborate weekend plans about going out an having fun....
Stupid? Crazy? Mad? Phoenix?
Synonyms.
:D
PS. Don't think I feel any guilty...I have another exam on monday, and have elaborate weekend plans about going out an having fun....
Oh..uh...Hello?
Meet Mr. RAJAT KUMAR ppl...
Who is Rajat?Well, I must confess my own knowledge on his identity, existence, and personality is extremely limited, and possibly untrue. But it's very interesting indeed.
This is one character who has suddenly started calling me up everyday almost, for the last three-four days, for absolutely no reason(nothing logical or understandable) and at amazing frquencies with an amazing resilience. I've just no clue who he is, but the first time he called me up, it was tuesday I guess, he immediately asked for me by my name. When I asked who he was he proudly replied with his name and expected me to be satisfied with it, as if he was the President of USA!
Anyway, my "So?" as the reply probably irked him a little, and he said "I'm Rajat" again.
"So how can I help you Mr. Rajat?"
"I want to talk to you...."
"Me?..about what?"
"I want to talk to you and be friends with you..tele friends"
Now this was a new one, the excuse I mean. Tele-frnds!!!!!
I said "I'm sorry, but I don't really talk to arbit strangers, and am not interested in tele friendship at all" and hung up. He called back, I rejected the call. Few minutes later call from another number, another landline, same guy.
"What crap is this, Mr. whoever-you-are!"
"Rajat"
"Whatever....look i told you I'm not interested..."
"But I am." Huh?
"Do you even know who i'm? And who told you my name? And where did u get my number from?"
"A friend gave me your number....."
"Who?"
"Sorry I cant tell that..."
"Then I'm sorry as well...Look i've plenty of work to do, just get lost and don't call me back...."
I hung up. An attempted call. I switched off the phone.
Next evening.
Another landline number. same guy.
"Hi! This is Rajat...Remember?"
Shitttt.........
"Look what do you want mister..i told you yesterday I'm absolutely not interested in talking to arbit strangers and any frndships with ghosts..."
"I'm not a ghost, and everybody is a stranger before becoming a friend..."
!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Shut up, would you?"
"Arey aap gussa kyon ho rahe ho...maine kuch galat kaha kya?"
"Huh! Listen for the last and final time, whoever you are..."
"Rajat"
"I know one hundred Rajats, the name is not important.....just pls pls stop bugging me.
My exams start tomorrow, lemme study for heavens' sake"
"OK...study well"
Hangs up.
Half an hour later...
" Abhi tak pad rahi ho, kitna padti ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
:O
What a character....after this I've rejected scores of calls, yelled at him, almost abused him, threatened with police, told him to get lost, but nothing works...It just doesn't affect Mr. Calm!
Excerpts from other conversations, inc. a seven-minute patience-testing call tonite...
"How do you know me waise?"
"I've seen you. maine aapko CP pe dekha tha.."
"Kab?"
"Two weeks back"
I haven't been to CP for over three months!!!!
I told him, this, he said I'm lying!
:O
"Mere dost ne apka number diya"
"So u call up every girl u supposedly see everyday?"
"No"
"Kaunsa dost, ye nahi batayenge?"
"Nope...aur kuch poochhna hai to poochh lo..about me, whatever you wanna know!"
As if i'm interested!!!!!!
Still, I now know his college/course/year.
His question:
"Which college are you from?"
:O
"Didn't your friend tell you this?"
"No...I don't ask people for info on girls. Main kya ladkiyon ke bare mien details pata karta rehta hoon?"
Yeah, right!!!!
"Which year are you?"
"Whichever it is, but senior than you"(He's in first yr, acc to him)
"Final yr?"
"Yes"
And a gem, opening line of the evening....
"Now you know me na..."
"What? excuse me?"
"Aj meri foto DT ke front page pe ayi hai. Proves I'm a good guy."
Go to hell!!!!!
Haven't actually seen the paper, I don't think I will, but this just proves TOI sucks!!!!!
Have been wondering what to do with him..meanwhile this is what I tried finally a few hours back.
Was in ex-hall. When he called up again(!), said hello, said hold a sec, and handed over the phone to a guy sitting nearby, with qiock whispered instructions to talk 'something', some arbit nonsense with this Mr. Fevicol.
Now that's the best part. Usne itni darawani awaz mein hello bola samne se usne fone hi kat diya ek minute ke baad, without uttering a word! Tab se ek bhi call nahi aya, abt tak!
:D
Now I suspect very strongly it's a cheap attempt at a prank by someone I know, possibly a friend, probably an IITDian. I can't say much. But it's too stupid! However, if this is true, I really wanna know who this guy is, if only to satisfy my curiosity that who in IITD could be this "jobless" during minors. Speaking of minors, I think I should leave this post here only. I've got a minor for the shittiest course in IITD tomorrow, and I don't wanna let Mr. Rajat make me flunk! So everything else about the story has to wait......
Ciao.
Who is Rajat?Well, I must confess my own knowledge on his identity, existence, and personality is extremely limited, and possibly untrue. But it's very interesting indeed.
This is one character who has suddenly started calling me up everyday almost, for the last three-four days, for absolutely no reason(nothing logical or understandable) and at amazing frquencies with an amazing resilience. I've just no clue who he is, but the first time he called me up, it was tuesday I guess, he immediately asked for me by my name. When I asked who he was he proudly replied with his name and expected me to be satisfied with it, as if he was the President of USA!
Anyway, my "So?" as the reply probably irked him a little, and he said "I'm Rajat" again.
"So how can I help you Mr. Rajat?"
"I want to talk to you...."
"Me?..about what?"
"I want to talk to you and be friends with you..tele friends"
Now this was a new one, the excuse I mean. Tele-frnds!!!!!
I said "I'm sorry, but I don't really talk to arbit strangers, and am not interested in tele friendship at all" and hung up. He called back, I rejected the call. Few minutes later call from another number, another landline, same guy.
"What crap is this, Mr. whoever-you-are!"
"Rajat"
"Whatever....look i told you I'm not interested..."
"But I am." Huh?
"Do you even know who i'm? And who told you my name? And where did u get my number from?"
"A friend gave me your number....."
"Who?"
"Sorry I cant tell that..."
"Then I'm sorry as well...Look i've plenty of work to do, just get lost and don't call me back...."
I hung up. An attempted call. I switched off the phone.
Next evening.
Another landline number. same guy.
"Hi! This is Rajat...Remember?"
Shitttt.........
"Look what do you want mister..i told you yesterday I'm absolutely not interested in talking to arbit strangers and any frndships with ghosts..."
"I'm not a ghost, and everybody is a stranger before becoming a friend..."
!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Shut up, would you?"
"Arey aap gussa kyon ho rahe ho...maine kuch galat kaha kya?"
"Huh! Listen for the last and final time, whoever you are..."
"Rajat"
"I know one hundred Rajats, the name is not important.....just pls pls stop bugging me.
My exams start tomorrow, lemme study for heavens' sake"
"OK...study well"
Hangs up.
Half an hour later...
" Abhi tak pad rahi ho, kitna padti ho!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
:O
What a character....after this I've rejected scores of calls, yelled at him, almost abused him, threatened with police, told him to get lost, but nothing works...It just doesn't affect Mr. Calm!
Excerpts from other conversations, inc. a seven-minute patience-testing call tonite...
"How do you know me waise?"
"I've seen you. maine aapko CP pe dekha tha.."
"Kab?"
"Two weeks back"
I haven't been to CP for over three months!!!!
I told him, this, he said I'm lying!
:O
"Mere dost ne apka number diya"
"So u call up every girl u supposedly see everyday?"
"No"
"Kaunsa dost, ye nahi batayenge?"
"Nope...aur kuch poochhna hai to poochh lo..about me, whatever you wanna know!"
As if i'm interested!!!!!!
Still, I now know his college/course/year.
His question:
"Which college are you from?"
:O
"Didn't your friend tell you this?"
"No...I don't ask people for info on girls. Main kya ladkiyon ke bare mien details pata karta rehta hoon?"
Yeah, right!!!!
"Which year are you?"
"Whichever it is, but senior than you"(He's in first yr, acc to him)
"Final yr?"
"Yes"
And a gem, opening line of the evening....
"Now you know me na..."
"What? excuse me?"
"Aj meri foto DT ke front page pe ayi hai. Proves I'm a good guy."
Go to hell!!!!!
Haven't actually seen the paper, I don't think I will, but this just proves TOI sucks!!!!!
Have been wondering what to do with him..meanwhile this is what I tried finally a few hours back.
Was in ex-hall. When he called up again(!), said hello, said hold a sec, and handed over the phone to a guy sitting nearby, with qiock whispered instructions to talk 'something', some arbit nonsense with this Mr. Fevicol.
Now that's the best part. Usne itni darawani awaz mein hello bola samne se usne fone hi kat diya ek minute ke baad, without uttering a word! Tab se ek bhi call nahi aya, abt tak!
:D
Now I suspect very strongly it's a cheap attempt at a prank by someone I know, possibly a friend, probably an IITDian. I can't say much. But it's too stupid! However, if this is true, I really wanna know who this guy is, if only to satisfy my curiosity that who in IITD could be this "jobless" during minors. Speaking of minors, I think I should leave this post here only. I've got a minor for the shittiest course in IITD tomorrow, and I don't wanna let Mr. Rajat make me flunk! So everything else about the story has to wait......
Ciao.
Friday, September 02, 2005
Thursday, September 01, 2005
KASH MERI EK GIRLFRIEND HOTI!!!!! :D
POSTED ON PUBLIC DEMAND...
HISTORY:
I wrote this one a yr back...25 feb 2004 to be precise...funny hai, but done expect quality..actually ek "self-composed" poetry competition tha..mera ek dost ake kehne laga participate karne ka man hai, par likhna to kuch ata nahi...mujhe kaha tu likh aur abhi likh....maine kaha theek hai...par topic to bata...to usne yeh ek line bol di..main likhna shuru hui to khud hi ghoomne chale gaye..fir adhe ghante bad aa kar le gaye, aur agle din bolkar jeet gaye...second prize shayad, yad nahi...i wasnt there....unfortunately aisa topic main khud kabhi bol nahi sakti:))
Some of u might have read this pehle...
Anyway, enjoy!
HISTORY:
I wrote this one a yr back...25 feb 2004 to be precise...funny hai, but done expect quality..actually ek "self-composed" poetry competition tha..mera ek dost ake kehne laga participate karne ka man hai, par likhna to kuch ata nahi...mujhe kaha tu likh aur abhi likh....maine kaha theek hai...par topic to bata...to usne yeh ek line bol di..main likhna shuru hui to khud hi ghoomne chale gaye..fir adhe ghante bad aa kar le gaye, aur agle din bolkar jeet gaye...second prize shayad, yad nahi...i wasnt there....unfortunately aisa topic main khud kabhi bol nahi sakti:))
Some of u might have read this pehle...
Anyway, enjoy!
Kash meri ek girlfriend hoti
Chahe hoti patli ya moti
Gori ya kali lambi ya chhoti
Jaisi bhi hoti girlfriend to hoti
Ek aisi pari
Jiske pas hoti woh jadu ki chhadi
Jo badal deti meri zindagi
Yoonhi muskurati, rehti mere sath khadi
Hum bhi nikalte shan se bahar
Doston mein fir atkalein hoti
Humse poochhe jate sawal
Aur hume jawab dene ki fursat na hoti
Classes bunk karne ka bhi
Reason hota legal
Haathon mein haath liye ghoomte
Life would have been so regal!
Hume bhi koi deta gulab
14 february ke us sunhere din ko
Hamari life mein bhi hots koi aisa
Shayari likhke dete hum jinko
Humne kab aishwarya rai mangi hai
Hum to uski beautician se bhi kar lenge guzara
Mujhe to sari pasand hain yaro
Par kyon kisi ko pasand nahi ata main bechara
Kash mil jati woh laila hume
Jiske hum majnu kehlate
Milke chahe chhod hi jati
Aur kuch nahi devdas ban jate
Par apni love story ka to starting mein hi end hai
Bees sal se zindagi ka yahi to trend hai
Har chahra muskurata hai mujhpe
Har nazar mano kehti hai yahi
Woh jaa raha hai akela bechara
Jisko girlfriend milti hi nahi
Maine kab kaha ki main shahrukh khan hoon
Main to bas ek seedha sadha insan hoon
Par kya seedhe sadhe logon mein dil nahi hota
To kya hua agar main hoon thoda sa mota
Dil ka ekdum saf hoon man ka ekdum bhola
Fir kyon kisi devi ne nahi mere sapnon ko tatola
Deviyon ab aap log hi sun lo meri pukar
Koi to basa lo mere sang apna sukhi sansar
Fir main bhi muskuraoonga
Ghoomoonga, ghoomaaoonga
Har hafte five star mein
Khana apko khilaoonga
Chahe jeb ho jaye khali
Mujhe to bas chahiye ek ghar wali
Fir nahi karoonga ishwar se aur koi pukar
Agar mil jaye mujhe bhi ek bar sacha pyar!
Na aur koi chahat hai na aur koi desire
Par girlfriend na mili to life ban jayegi satire
To deviyon agar ap mein se kisi ki samajh mein aa gayi meri bat
Mera mobile number likh lo:
Nine eight nine ek do teen char paanch chhe saat..........
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