The End of It All.

As I always say, all things, good and bad, come to an end.
That's a part of life I guess. Life, which irrespective of all this, continues to move on, until it meets its own end.
To sound optimistic, we often say that all that matters is what lay between the beginning and the end. I'd buy it, and place all my belief in cherishing whatever was, as long as it was, rather than question and postmortem the how's and why's of the end. I'm anyway short of both strength and peace to think clearly at the moment. I just realise I'm standing at the graveyard of several things, and maybe it is the time of new beginnings. I can see a few windows of hope at a distance, and consider myself lucky for that. So while all is not lost, the History book deserves its share of updation and condolences.

The trivial things first. One year of my tenure as the EDLC rep effectively ended with the four day Inter College Debate I had mentioned in earlier posts. Formally, that post is still mine a few more days, and it was such a precious experience so long as it lasted that I'd be shortly dedicating a whole post to the year-that-was, and that club that was and still is, a crucial part of my life. Just a quick thank you to all the people, Secy, co-reps, panelists, regulars, judges, participants, all the people I was associated with, for making it such a special part of my memories. Now, I'm free. Jobless. Useless. I almost feel retired.

My grandma passed away last Monday, and that was when I closely saw the end of a life. People have died before, but freshness of memory serves greater impacts. I saw a lot of pain, and the end of a lot of pain too. More than anything I hate to see my mother cry, and I saw that too. Several old relationships ceased to exist; a few new ones were formed in the hearts. And life moves on.

In the recent past, some people have lost respect in my eyes for various reasons. There are some for whom probably I lost some respect too. I earned hatred, and trust me, it's a painful exercise to get a salary of despise. I lost love and I gained love, and alas my heart knows no mathematics else I'd have told you how much it eventually cost me. Emotions cannot be weighed in the balances of profits and losses; guilts cannot be bargained for by words of genuine love and understanding. Sometimes life leaves one with little choice, and that is when we have to learn to let go. I'm just hoping that the age-old adage proves true for all: all that happens, is for the good.
Amen.

And at the end of it all, I still count myself lucky to be alive. And lucky to have windows full of hope and the fingers that I could hold and be guided to the windows in my hands. Everyone has to make fresh beginnings when things end. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I only need strength now, for as long as I manage to survive.

If anything, pray for me that those fingers don't leave my hand. If that happens, I'd be dead for sure.

For peace and strength to everyone, and for my own infectious optimism.