Class Assignment: Why am I here?

"That moment had come after months of wait. Long, painful, arduous wait.

I had almost given up on hope, but eventually it came, and there it was, in my hands, in my arms. He was in my arms, and rather firmly, in my life too. I loved him, at least at that moment I totally believed that I did. And finally, I was getting married to him too. After much struggle beginning from getting him to ask the question till that moment, when families had agreed, arrangements had begun and the months could be counted, he was soon to be mine. Which means, I thought, I could allow ourselves to grow more close, more intimate. And here I had the moment, on a beautiful afternoon in a wonderful place, and even the others had gone out till late evening for a hike.

For some reason he had been romantic and super-smooth since morning, and that turned me on too. I was only too glad to stay back off the hike. And finally he was in my arms.

It felt ages since we had last been so near, and his touch felt electric. His fingers ran through my hair, and his gaze through my whole self. He drew me closer, till I embraced him tight, unwilling to let go. I felt his hand caress my back, then the butts, till the chill ran through my spine and I kissed his neck. That melted him; he felt soft, lovable, cuddle-able in my arms. I always thought he was kinda cute, but for once he looked sexy too. His eyes had a never-before passion in them; his gaze seemed to be fixed at the cleavage now. Finally we kissed, arms around the waist, lips locked and feet quivering.

Almost as an accident we tripped - I'm not sure it was me or him who slipped first but nevertheless we took each other down - and fell on the couch nearby. We laughed immediately, in unison, but stopped as abruptly too. Our bodies pressed together were reacting inwardly in a violent fashion and something in his eyes gave me the urge to make love with him then and there. I was shocked at my own desire and hesitated, but his lips on me soon took me out of control. I did not know if he shared the same feeling as me, though I hoped, but I believed I should wait for him to make a move. I was ecstatic nevertheless, then suddenly he broke apart and turned to come on top, and said in my ears in a tired, breathless tone..."Honey, would you like to sleep with me?"

I was disappointed, infact I was shocked.

I pushed him away almost by reflex.

My mind raced, "Here I was fervently hoping for making love with this guy, and all he wants to do is go to sleep! He goddamn loves his siesta more than me. Yeah sure he wants me to give him company, and asks his innocous, normally likable "Honey, would you like to eat/come for a walk/watch a movie with me?" again, but can't he see this wasn't the moment. He's ruined it again. And I thought he loved me!"

"Sleep!!" I shrieked aloud.

There must have been something scary on my face, for he looked baffled. But I went on, pushing him aside and getting off the couch.

"Well, go sleep alone. I think I'd go for a walk..."

"Hey, I'm sorry....I didn't" He began.

"Sorry? I thought you loved me. We're getting married soon. And you?" I went on ignoring his mumbles.

"See I dont know what your problem is, but your sexual quotient surprises me...God..what kind of a man I've fallen for..."

At this he got totally enraged and walked off the room with a disgusted look. I went out too. Few hours later he messaged saying he was breaking off with me, that the marriage was off and that he was leaving back for home and I could come with the rest of the group.I was happy in a way, but I still cried. I'd loved him, but this wasn't going to work......

******

Four years later I told about this to my best friend.

I hadn't still married; I never fell in love again and the matches my parents tried to fix up routinely found me too undereducated, too out of city-lifestyle loop.

All she did was brought me to this class, saying the most important thing I need in my life was this spoken English and personality development class.

And thus here I am. "