I was writing a comment on this blog, but it blew up and I realised it was one of those topics I always had too much to rant on if I got in the mood, and thus I thought if I had to mumble about the crap about feminism, I should at least spare Ady's space from the corruption.
So, coming to the point, what I was getting worked up about is this whole feminism crap. Women have been ill-treated in this society forever, YES. It needs to be ended, DOUBLE YES. It needs to be ended as soon as possible and our society should treat men and women as equals, TRIPLE YES. But that equal word is where the catch is. Men and women are different, by nature, and it's not essential men can do everything women can with the same ease, or vice versa. The problem of our society, however, lies in the belief, in the value-assignment, that some things are more important and better than the others, and unfortunately in our chauvinist mindsets, all these perceived superior activities are titled men's domains. Real equality would be equality of respect and importance, when women don't insist on physically fighting and doing 'men's jobs' just to prove women can, but instead everyone recognises that the jobs women naturally do better, including emotional fighting, are just as important in the society as the ones that men do.All this noisy show of feminism is in fact anti-feminism, and indeed all of feminism, anti-feminism, pseudo-feminism et al is all the same. In simpler words, fierce feminism subtly accepts the 'difference', the 'inferiority' in shouting for we-can-do-it-too. You actually concede an intrinsic disability, an inferiority while asking for active 'help', in a way. Don;t get me wrong. I'm not saying affirmative action, women's empowerment, education for girls and all those schemes are not required. They definitely are, and much more effectively than they exist so that it makes a difference where it matters, and FAST. But at the same time, the solution doesn't lie in drastic things like women's reservation. And again, you need to remember that while 95% of women may have been wronged, there are 5% cases where the victim needn't be the woman and things need to be dealt objectively. That is what equality is about, to treat men and women as individuals above anything, with their own special traits and respecting them for it. Gender-based decisions, discrimination and generalisations are stupidity. You see where the problem is...problem is that in trying to restore the balance in this hugely biased society, the women (and some men) at the forefronts ask for superiority of women instead, by going gaga about their achievements, multitasking etc etc. what are you trying to do? In the long run, create a world as biased to the women as it is to the men at the moment, and then run men empowerment schemes. (I know it sounds funny, and one may not be able to empower men later because women are cleverer just as men are more ruthless, but that's not the point)People crib, if women ask for 'equality', why reserve seats for them in the bus? Well, the reason is not that they are women, the reason is that there exist wild, disgusting creatures who push, touch, rub and try to do all kinds of stuff with women standing in a crowded bus (or even sitting, if the creep is standing next to you and you are a half-decent woman, you'd know what I mean). Women are physically weaker than men, so it makes more sense to offer them a seat in lieu of a healthy man, but at the same time if an elderly man is standing, the girl should offer her seat to him. Nothing great about it either. That's humanity, not feminism.I can go on and on, a dozen posts maybe, but lemme stop n go home noe.end of week!
So, coming to the point, what I was getting worked up about is this whole feminism crap. Women have been ill-treated in this society forever, YES. It needs to be ended, DOUBLE YES. It needs to be ended as soon as possible and our society should treat men and women as equals, TRIPLE YES. But that equal word is where the catch is. Men and women are different, by nature, and it's not essential men can do everything women can with the same ease, or vice versa. The problem of our society, however, lies in the belief, in the value-assignment, that some things are more important and better than the others, and unfortunately in our chauvinist mindsets, all these perceived superior activities are titled men's domains. Real equality would be equality of respect and importance, when women don't insist on physically fighting and doing 'men's jobs' just to prove women can, but instead everyone recognises that the jobs women naturally do better, including emotional fighting, are just as important in the society as the ones that men do.All this noisy show of feminism is in fact anti-feminism, and indeed all of feminism, anti-feminism, pseudo-feminism et al is all the same. In simpler words, fierce feminism subtly accepts the 'difference', the 'inferiority' in shouting for we-can-do-it-too. You actually concede an intrinsic disability, an inferiority while asking for active 'help', in a way. Don;t get me wrong. I'm not saying affirmative action, women's empowerment, education for girls and all those schemes are not required. They definitely are, and much more effectively than they exist so that it makes a difference where it matters, and FAST. But at the same time, the solution doesn't lie in drastic things like women's reservation. And again, you need to remember that while 95% of women may have been wronged, there are 5% cases where the victim needn't be the woman and things need to be dealt objectively. That is what equality is about, to treat men and women as individuals above anything, with their own special traits and respecting them for it. Gender-based decisions, discrimination and generalisations are stupidity. You see where the problem is...problem is that in trying to restore the balance in this hugely biased society, the women (and some men) at the forefronts ask for superiority of women instead, by going gaga about their achievements, multitasking etc etc. what are you trying to do? In the long run, create a world as biased to the women as it is to the men at the moment, and then run men empowerment schemes. (I know it sounds funny, and one may not be able to empower men later because women are cleverer just as men are more ruthless, but that's not the point)People crib, if women ask for 'equality', why reserve seats for them in the bus? Well, the reason is not that they are women, the reason is that there exist wild, disgusting creatures who push, touch, rub and try to do all kinds of stuff with women standing in a crowded bus (or even sitting, if the creep is standing next to you and you are a half-decent woman, you'd know what I mean). Women are physically weaker than men, so it makes more sense to offer them a seat in lieu of a healthy man, but at the same time if an elderly man is standing, the girl should offer her seat to him. Nothing great about it either. That's humanity, not feminism.I can go on and on, a dozen posts maybe, but lemme stop n go home noe.end of week!
30 comments:
And again, you need to remember that while 95% of women may have been wronged, there are 5% cases where the victim needn't be the woman and things need to be dealt objectively.
nice lil data.. wonder where u got dat from. basically u hit the nail on its head when u said that the two sexes are special in their own different ways, and the intelligence is in accepting just dat.
i wrote and edited and wrote and edited, untill i decided that it was not for me to denounce feminism.
Mademoiselle, can i be a silent participant of the debate which is most likely to ensue after your chagrined tirade?
the point to figure is what and how much do we differ?
and finaaly thanks for stopping by...
HOw did you manage i wonder....
and to answer your question that does indeed make you a person with a prowess to dent but more for later...
depending or not ill be seeing more of you...
and you do need to do the list...
The reverse-biased society, n the men-empowerment schemes...
I wonder how a total reversal would look like. first of all I must think of how it would feel to be asked to b back in hostel by 10 or 11 pm.
[ady]
Dont claim accuracy of figures, something I read in a news article I guess, but I'd say the idea is more important than the figures, and that stays this much....the two sexes are different, individuals are different too, and there is no comparison between them.
[catalyst]
Ah well...i dont really hope for a debate again!
sigh
[pricky]
Ah well....that URL was in my list smwhere, just nt frequented recently..
And the list er..well...hopefully sometime...i am bad at tags!
[vik]
Not a bad plot for a novel, scary dystopia maybe...
and 10-11 is a luxury we get in IIT...almost every other place girls hostel haver obscene time limits like 7 or 830 or smthng
Waise how surprising is that...what is the limit at homes anyway for girls to get back, compared to their brothers?
I agree with you! Gender based discrimination should be totally stopped and banned
Women are physically weaker than men, so it makes more sense to offer them a seat in lieu of a healthy man, but at the same time if an elderly man is standing, the girl should offer her seat to him. Nothing great about it either.
We(the northeasterners) have been practising this for quite sometime.
I need to add something which deviate a bit away from the above sentence.
I agree with you on the line, Women are physically weaker than men but women are stronger mentally and other wat nots. :(
THE GENUINE COMMENT:
WOW! I think the way you wrote everything kinda settles it quite well. Yes men and women do have special traits, but just like a woman can be physically strong (eg. PT Usha), men can be emotionally strong too. Don't want to go about that "we-can-do-that-thing-too" thing - just that at the end of the day, we are all UNIQUE INDIVIDUALS. And about the bus that, I completely agree! It's crazy not to have reserved seats. In fact, you should have a Rottweiler or something in every bus. I mean lechers and other ass***** are the reasons my mom doesn't travel in DTC buses. And ya, one more clarification, what do you mean by "Women are cleverer" As in "smarter" or "more cunning"?
THE MARKETTING:
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[mnowluck]
Agree with you totally, in fact that was one of the many unsaid things in the post. We know on an average, women are mentally and emotionally stronger, more stable and better at handling crises. The 'adjust' factor and their natural ability to endure pain count.
Men are more outspoken in a new environment than women, at the same time women are better at adapting and at multitasking (infact, this one's true...guys just cant multitask...)
[akshay]
You dont have to resort to blatant marekting. I do check your blog enough. Relax, content draws readers on its own.
As for the comment, the generalisations were an average score, but yeah the bottomline is there is uniqueness, individuality that should not be tied to one's sex.
Smarter mostly.Do you think if this were a women-dominated world, a concept like men's empowerment would be allowed to exist? not by force...no no..that fails...but by other emotional psychological tactis so nobody felt the need ;)
lol
you are racist :D
it almost seems men are inconsequential to the existence of our species,mostly adding numbers, you know :P
but sadly you are true, women are sometimes not shown the respect they have every right to. I wish, every disadvantaged section of the society rises above asking for affirmative action and special treatment to change things, and rather ask to eradicate what marks the distinction in underlying attitudes.
Now that's scary: a 7 or 830 deadline! And you are right: homes are no different. Society, in general, is chauvinist; and the biggest supporters of the chauvinism in India are, ironically, the elderly women. But then, mind is a product of the environment; their's is no exception.
Arey bhai, I'm not markettin for YOU, I'm doing that for other people! And you know what, it's workin!
Bad at tags!!!
Sputter!!
Exactly what am I supposed to make of it?
Cause obvipusly much bigger things than tags cant scare an IITian...
Care to elucidate?
[anon]
it almost seems men are inconsequential to the existence of our species,mostly adding numbers, you know
I wish I said that! :P
Just kiddin...jokes apart...that's not really true you know...women are a cynical noisy heavily complicated creation, them alone is not that great an idea...this world needs a little more simplicity and less 'subtlety'.
[vik]
It is.
wonder what we all would be if there hadn't been the conditioning factor that makes us who we are...
[akshay]
ah so you are concentrating your efforts on straling my readers.
[pricky]
arey baab how does being an iitian come in between...am just lazy completing tags...thats it..achha will try n do urs soon
Ouch that hurt!
Don't say "stealing your readers". "Acquainting them to some less confusing, less intelligible reading options", more like!
"Just kiddin...jokes apart...that's not really true you know...women are a cynical noisy heavily complicated creation, them alone is not that great an idea...this world needs a little more simplicity and less 'subtlety'."
:D simple as in bovine ;)
so adding numbers and making life simpler, is it :D :D
please dont mind, i can be a stickler at times.
[akshay]
hehe
Chalo granted....
happy writing, and plentiful reading
[catalyst]
Yeah pretty much. I'd take that. There's not much they were made for anyway...infact read thru this....hilarious:
Eve's Chat with God - The Real Truth
>
>"Lord, I have a problem."
>
>"What's the problem, Eve?"
>
>"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all
>of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake,
>but
>I'm just not happy."
>
>"And why is that , Eve?"
>
>"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
>
>"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for
>you."
>
>"Man? What is that, Lord?"
>
>"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be
>vain;
>all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster
>and
>will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that
>he
>will
>satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in
>childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as
>smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."
>
>"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrow s, "but
>what's
>the catch Lord?"
>
>"Well,.....you can have him on one condition."
>
>"And what's that Lord? "
>
>"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring .... so you'll
>have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be
>our little secret You know, woman to woman."
:(
good stuff.
lesson learnt : women cant be trusted with any secret.
[anon]
lol
But dont you STILL believe, heart of heart, that men were made first.
The secret is kept.
[vik]
Ah removed comment....read it though...attempted wit?
may be, but then may be not, the secret is kept :P i cant rob away my kind of the few good traits you have so mercifully acknowledged.
so you finally believe in meta-feminism. :P
[catalyst]
A noble decision indeed.
[inhas]
Ah...don't u invent more terms for the Crap it it, they're all the same
Man, this place is seriously not for me...
too much sex talk ;P
Noooo, we still need women reservations in colleges, especially IIT and then, extend them to workplace as well and then....ah well, what crap. I can't get myself to think seriously. I need help....from a lady psychiatrist maybe. There I go again.
"That is what equality is about, to treat men and women as individuals above anything, with their own special traits and respecting them for it."
kudos...i luv the line.how hav u been?
[akshay]
eh eh....dont paint the post in wrong colours :P
[diptanshu]
Dude...this intern has driven you (women-)crazy already!!!
Get that cute one :D
[azeem]
Hey long time!!!
I'm fine..doing well...where have you been........
Awesome post!
I just want to mention that following 3 incidents, which have a everlasting impression in my memory. All of them are of biased behaviours of feminists towards males(me).
When I was in class 5th, I was forced to write a wrong answer in
When I took admission in class 5th in a new school, my drawing teacher was a lady and out of her 15 exclusive students that she used to prepare for drawing competition, none was a boy. When, I enrolled my name to learn drawing, all my friends advised me to withdraw the name because she is a feminist and will never teach you. I thought they were wrong but when she scolded and defamed me for my drawing, which was not bad at all, I thought whether being a boy is a sin?
In the class 6th's final exams. A lady teacher came to me and said that the answer I had written was wrong and for my goodness she wanted me to write the other answer. In front of her, I wrote her answer. When she went, I crossed it and again wrote my own answer, she came back to shout at me and finally she succeded in making me write what she wanted. Perhaps I was a dumb at that time to understand the plot she played to keep a girl of my class on the 1st position and to drag me to 2nd.
I left that school.
Now in college, I again happened to met a lady teacher. She teaches language and communication. And when she awards grades, girls dont need to go and look at it because all of them get an 'A' by default. But boys need to see whether they have got a 'B' or 'C' or 'D' coz she doesnt give an 'A' to boys.
Awesome post!
I just want to mention following 3 incidents, which have a everlasting impression in my memory. All of them irritated me coz of the biased behaviours of feminists towards males(me).
When I took admission in a new school in class 5th , my drawing teacher was a lady and out of her 15 exclusive students that she used to prepare for drawing competition, none was a boy. When, I enrolled my name to learn drawing, all my friends advised me to withdraw the name because she is a feminist and will never teach you. I thought they were wrong but when she scolded and defamed me for my drawing, which was not bad at all, I thought whether being a boy is a sin?
In the class 6th's final exams. A lady teacher came to me and said that the answer I had written was wrong and for my goodness she wanted me to write the other answer. In front of her, I wrote her answer. When she went, I crossed it and again wrote my own answer, she came back to shout at me and finally she succeded in making me write what she wanted. Perhaps I was a dumb at that time to understand the plot she played to keep a girl of my class on the 1st position and to drag me to 2nd.
I left that school.
Now in college, I again happened to meet a lady teacher. She teaches "language and communication" course. And when she awards grades, girls dont need to go and look at it because all of them get an 'A' by default. But boys need to see whether they have got a 'B' or 'C' or 'D' coz she doesnt give an 'A' to boys. It really irritates sometimes when I think about feminism but than I realize that nobody is really worried, even a bit, on this feminism matter and why to waste time and I again go back to my usual work. But,sometimes this feminism pops up again and spurts hatred for some people.
[hemant]
Unfortunate though these are, and by no means any sane woman, or person, would condone these, I believe you already know the far larger frequency with which girls are forced to think whether being born as a woman is a sin. Or a SIN.
When you're not allowed to study/study what you want to/do things your brother is allowed to do/marry by choice/live independently and so on and so forth, those are countless and far graver instances when that questions makes one cry.
I had a good friend at school, from a conservative south indian family. After 12th, her parents did not allow her to do a professional course....engg or even comp app...she took 90% marks n an admn in stephens, n is nw fighting to be allowed to work n not marry already, at 20.
I havd and have had several profs who think that girls have no business studying engineering at all - it's a men's only domain - and routinely mark us down for nothing. At the same time there are lechers disguised at teachers (men) who give high grades to girls who are prettier/give them more attention and time, if you know what I mean. That irritates the guys too, and they curse the girls not the prof.
so you see the bias, the ridiculous genderisation exists everywhere, and as you can figure out from the post i'm no fan of mindless feminism myself. What we see happening is an over-compensation of sorts, like because wrongs happen or have happened to women, give them additional favour to correct it. Primarily the same philosophy as affirmative action, reservations etc. What is overlooked is the need to correct the basics, and the attitudes itself. There's no point creating a tilt the other way to restore the balance.
Two wrongs DO NOT make a right.
"What is overlooked is the need to correct the basics, and the attitudes itself. " I completely agree by this .
Woman is suppressed in some middle or lower class family, like in the instance of your friend. Any question on this, as far as I understand, is rootless. All I wanted to say is, the problem with girls becomes more when she acts in unobjectionable manner, when she does not raise her voice and fight. I have seen many cases, where a girl keep quiet even when she should not, I hope I am able to communicate what I want to say, and as a result she finds herself being behaved differently and then she thinks that things happened coz she is a girl. For example, there was a project I was doing in a team of 10 members and there was also a girl in this team. Now the job of the teamleader was to get work done and for him it doesnt matter who was working and who was not. So he started loading works on everybody. Now there were ppl who did the justified part of the work and kept a diplomatic attitude, sometimes arrogant also, to keep them from extraneous workload. The team leader noticed that the girl was not so good diplomate and she was also avoiding the arrogant behaviour and to draw benefit from her savvy attitude he made her lot of work which was not justified at all. The girl later realized it and now says that it happens to girls, I was a girl thats why I was suppressed by the arrogance and altercates and I had to do lot more work than others did. But as far as I think, it was not her identity as a girl that cost her, rather it was her inability to protest and manage diplomatic behaviour.
Definitely there are henious cases of sexual harrassment, and I agree that they cause a lot of pressure and a feeling of guilt, but there are many cases when a girl assumes that wrong things are happening to her because of "her being a girl" and remain obscure from the real reasons of unjustified things which has nothing or very little to do with her girl identity. At least in those cases, a change in girl's attitude can cause a change in the world around her, I believe it.
Everytime woman claims that they are not allowed to do things which their brother does and not allowed to study and is kept from certain thing, to me it appear a problem of only the backward class of the society. If a boy does not express the pains of comments slashed by his aunts on his salary or on his studies, it does not mean that he is happy. A guy is also suppress, coz, unlike a girl, he does have the option of being a homehusband. He HAS TO earn, earn enough to run the family, kids and save and keep everyone happy. The HAS TO things creates pressure and I see them in eyes of my old school friend, who could not get as much marks as I used to and, somehow could not get a good job or a good pay package. The only difference comes when tears roll down from a girl's eyes but do/can not from a boy's coz he is always told, specially by his aunts, that he has to fight, he has to handle the family, he has to earn. A guy can also ask why this society does not give them a option of sitting back at home and relax. Why if a guy earns 15k, he is married to a girl earning around 5k. If he earns 50k, he is married to a girl earning 30k. When the society promotes a marriage a guy earning 50k for a girl earning just 30k, why does it not promote a marriage of a boy and girl earning 30k and 50k respectively?
I can not say whether the society is right/wrong to boy/girl, neither I want to prove that boys have to face suppression. All I want to say is suppression happens in everyone's life. Its upto one whether you change ur attitude, take it as a challenge and conquer it or just do hullalul to draw benefit out of it.
In case of sexual harrassment, I unquestionable, take the side of girls(really impressed by the movie , north country) but in other cases , probably suppression is more like a propoganda than the reality.
By this, I dont want to present any discord with your opinion, infact I find it in resonance with the theme of ur posts. I, only, wanted to present my views and in the end, I confess my agreement ur this statements -- "There's no point creating a tilt the other way to restore the balance. Two wrongs DO NOT make a right."
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