There was a time, not that long ago, when I actually remembered at least 250, if not more, birthdays every year. This was also a time when I actually remembered most phone numbers I dialed, but that's another story. As you can guess, I had an above average memory and was proud of it to some extent. Truth was, it was also of some value, as this was before the age of infinite phone memories and social media. People actually felt nice when I remembered them on their birthdays, some of them people I had otherwise lose touch with and only talk once or twice a year. Of course I can go back to even simpler times when we actually got little gifts for our friends and classmates (as opposed to just ask for treats) and kind of made an effort to make it "feel" special, more than just an excuse to party. I am smiling as I remember how those days we'd complain that there are too many birthdays clubbed together in August or December, thereby depleting the small pocket money. But coming back to today, this age of social media, I feel as if those little personal touches have lost all significance. Maybe it is just me, but somehow Facebook and co discourages me from wishing people. Barring the 10 or 15 I care to remember, I feel discouraged to call. It's just like adding a little bit more ink on their wall. It wouldn't matter - to them or to me. It's not the same as remembering someone and dropping an email or a call. Yes, it is useful as most of the times we just forget these things, and we'd like to remember. Occasionally, I slipped up because I lost track of the date. But I could make up for that. Now...
This year I missed my best friend's birthday because I'd put it on a mobile reminder which somehow got screwed and moved to the week after, and on the said day I was too occupied with travel and getting myself a new job. I over-relied on technology, failed, and felt shitty. Far shittier than I'd have felt if I'd just forgotten. And that age, he would have called me to abuse me and remind me, which of course now he didn't.
Maybe it is just me, but I don't feel like wishing acquaintances and old friends any more through this media. For close friends, I will remember. For others I care about, I'd drop an sms or call because I care, but I know it won't be valued as much. For the rest, I sorta assume it doesn't make a difference.
Or does it, I wonder.
As Rohan said, perhaps our new social, online world is pushing people away, as much as it claims to bringing old ties alive.
7 comments:
echo!
... but we should be happy that we have good memories of those times gone by.. something that the next generations will never have..
Yes, indeed old times had that charm, of those small gifts, of that home-made cake, and calling up the close friends. There was no facebook, not that many calls and SMSs, but some sweet wished that mattered.
Though, I believe, we dont need to step out from the crowd to connect to our friends, the feelings don't change with technology. Interesting read.
aJ
A wish ... a call ... matters ... even now.
Yes, it's all disappearing into a haze. :) Ok, maybe not. But social networking hurts by keeping a thin connection established between people that keeps an amount of current flowing between them which, although not enough to make them feel anything, is enough to prevent any sparks flowing between them when they actually meet after a long separation.
@vibhav
"although not enough to make them feel anything, is enough to prevent any sparks flowing between them when they actually meet after a long separation. "
That is a bit of an exaggeration I think. Although I agree that social networking does take away some charm, there still is a spark flowing when you meet someone after a long time. It may not be as dramatic as it would be if there were no interaction during this 'long time' because of the regular small amount of current flowing, but the sum total remains the same, in my opinion..
Aahhhhh.... This explains update on the FB. Over the years I have stopped wishing all the 400+ friends just because the FB app reminds me to do it. Doesn't feel right.
And complains about Decemeber being to crowded? We (you and I) can't complain about it now...can we? (see I remember)
i so identify with this post...
as a thumb rule, if the FB app has to REMIND me of someone's birthday, may be I shouldn't wish him/her at all.
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