BE YOURSELF

Almost the only thing that you can really do in your life is to be who you are.

Some people will love you for you.

Most will love you for what you can do for them,

and some won't like you at all.

Be who you are.

~Rita Mae Brown~

Perhaps the best instruction I was ever given all my life, is summed up in those two words: Be Yourself. It is, perhaps, the easiest AND the most difficult thing to do, under a given set of circumstances. But it's worth more than a try. If you need strength, do what I am doing: looking up at the sky.

And, remember the Zeroth Commandment:

SMILE. Come What May!

Works.Trust me.

THE ALPHA MALE

All men are equal, but some men are more equal than the others.

And as far as women go, in a traditional society, those with the more equal men would have been more superior than the other women who would have been plainly superior over the men, but in today's fast-changing times of the new-age liberated women, the men with the new-age women(if any) are more equal than the rest of their tribe!

In any case, all this obscenely feministic crap aside which, before you harp on and shoot me dead, I may clarify I don't really believe in...I stick to...everybody is equal, and I'm slightly more equal than the rest ;-) :-P :-P....the point is, in this famously unequal world, success is measured by the power you exercise over your own life, and over others' lives. In all honesty, the more successful is the one who has real-time power and control over his/her own life, and if one can break out of illusions over this self-control and decisiveness, nobody would be happier. But, this post is not meant to be yet another Art of Living lecture. I shall talk more about lesser mortals, about ordinary men either far or confused in the mazes of existentialist queries, and seemingly content with half-truths and illusions, because sadly enough, this society is by and large full of such mere mortals, myself included.

Anyway, the point is nevertheless simple, power attracts power, and just about everything else too. So every society, every community, every group has the few 'more equal' members who exercise a disproportionate influence about the people and the times, henceforth referred to, irrespective of gender, as the ALPHA MALEs of the system.You find them everywhere, and obviously you all know them. Equally obviously, most of them don't know you, because you aren't one of them. The political leaders, the more famous celebrities, the Godfathers of cinema and sports (or on a minscule level, of your class, of a certain course you are about to flunk in, of a certain activity club in college, of blogdom, just about ANYTHING) basically all the larger and smaller, to borrow from IIT lingo, "studs".

What makes someone an Alpha Male, or if you insist, the Queen Bee? I used to think it's purely natural, some people are born with an innate flair for doing some tings well, and better than others. Some people are born as people's people, as natural leaders, as success magnets. While this is true, there's also a certain section who acquire this magnetism, and it's more or less due to a sharper and more active brain(and smarter usage) than the others in the particular area. I'm tempted to believe this is rather fair too, because this implies inequality on somewhat "meritorious" grounds, but I'm digressing too much.

As I mentioned before, the poltu season at IIT is just over, and with mixed results and reactions, the insti has seen yet another year of horse trading and intensive calculation. And of course, loyalty and disloyalty, alliance-breaking and formation and re-formation, rediscovery of trust, and far more frequently, trust breaking exercises. I'm not particularly fond of the filthy game, and tried avoiding it to the extent I could. But I had a vote, a crucial vote, and so you can't count me out of the system!

Besides, there were at least three occassions where I had to break my dormancy, albeit temporarily, and 'do something'. Maybe because I don't despise poltu to the extent that I'd meekly allow a fight to break in my year in my hostel(I'd NEVER let this happen, and I have manouevering skills clever enough that in two consecutive seasons I have managed to keep Blitz@Kailash together, touchwood. For once, I'm proud of something.) Also because I dont despise poltu enough to let too many heartbreaks happen because some jerk in some hostel suddenly decided to carpet his vote, or to switch alliance, so I can use my PR to get in the reqd carpet.To be honest, I didn't really feel good after doing these acts that sorta required 'influence', but WTH, when I look around and see the amount of muck, I realise mine is not even a miniscule evil in a game of sins. In popular Slot P lingo, maine jo bhi machayi, positive poltu hi machayi. And frankly, I'm nobody in front of the poltu Gods and Goddesses, the realtime alpha males and queen bees who swung votes and fortunes around, and the better ones got better shares in the poltu pie (my hostel got a significant share...hail to Kailash's queen Bees too!) For all the smiles and tears I was a part of, or I saw closely enough to be moved, I have only one prayer, may the impact they leave behind on our souls not be harmful in any respect.

But the most interesting things happened just the next day after poltu was over, when over the reservation issue, students decided to do something and in a crowd of confused little groups all assembled at the wind-t wondering what to do next, spontaneously emerged a few who took the initiative and helped decide what to do next. For the first time, I saw a trace of student union-ism in IIT, and the most heart-warming aspect was people from two opposite 'alliances' of the previous night, standing together for the same cause. Again what was disheartening was that many of the established Alpha Males and queen bees, with an established influence, chose not to come forward for a cause that really mattered. For the heck of it, it's about the country and it's about future, and I believe it is far greater than intra and inter hostel politics in IIT. If these people CAN, they should. They owe that much to the society, if only because they are 'born' with the superior Alpha Male traits!

I'm just a nobody, and like all nobody's voices, my voice shall probably never be heard. All I want is that those who know they'd be heard, should for once lend their voice to the right words, rather than herding minor vote banks. Not everybody has the guts to fight, not all who do have the right cause to fight for. Not everybody gets the chance, not everybody gets the power. And with powers come responsibilty. So if the ministers up there with powers vested in their hands have forgotten their responsibility, the youth who have the power have to take up the responsibilty. Maybe it's time to wake up. Or else the future would sleep.
All it needs, like active involvement in poltu@IITD, is consistent enthu. What's right should not be left behind.

Will somebody listen?

All is for a good cause

From 22.5 to 49.5! Isn't that just overmuch ?
If you agree, join in at http://50is2much.blogspot.com ...

We must oppose the injustice done to us, afterall, its each one for themselves.
And don't forget to read the rest of the post...

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The pyres of Mandal commission sufferers are yet to cool down and you fasten you belts to witness another such commission popping up this summer! Then the culprit was our beloved (then PM) Mr. V.P. Singh and now it will be our dear Human Resource Development Mr. Arjun Singh. The reservation in the prestigious institutes like IITs and IIMs is likely to increase from the present 22.5 % to a maximum of 49.5 %.

Arjun Singh has already written to the state governments to frame laws in the light of the 104th Constitution Amendment which allows the state to enact laws to ensure the advancement of socially and educationally backward classes by making special provisions for their admission to educational institutions including private – aided and unaided – education institutes. States have been asked to pass these laws at the earliest, presumably ahead of the admission season for the 2006 academic year.

A quota of 22.5% does not seem to be enough that the government of planning to add more to it. Let us assume that the total population of India is 110 crore and the percentage of backward class must not be more than 10-15 %, so let us take 20 crore backward class citizens of India. Now we now that the seats in esteemed IITs is around 12000 and that of IIMs is around 1500. So by that we can conclude that out of 12000 seats 6000 shall be reserved for 20 crore and 6000 for the ‘remaining’ 90 crores. Is that justifiable?

And by looking at the present trend of the ministers to secure their ‘vote banks’ the days are not far when we shall be in need of reservation of ‘General’ category people. Also now there will be a student with 95% marks and another student with 65% marks sitting together on the same desk and studying in the same discipline!

Have we all elected these ‘worthy’ ministers to see these kinds of stupid acts to improve the society?

I am not against any of the quotas but do we really need them in the professional courses? I guess ‘NO’. If government really want to do something to uplift the backward class, it should provide free standardized education to these students upto Senior Secondary level and after that let them decide their own fortune. If that is not enough government can provide them fee subsidy, but that too shall be given when the candidate qualifies for the professional course not because of the QUOTA but because of his/ her caliber to do so!

So Mr. Arjun Singh, stop playing pranks with the sentiments of Indians and better concentrate how to improve the whole system and not some mere majority class. If you and your government can’t do that, you better leave the respectable position of HRD minister and let Indians decide the things in their own way. Or better be ready for another Mandal commission!

Do you really want that in IITs or IIMs a general category student scoring 90% can’t get admission because a student from reserved quota, who has scored 65%, by mere being a part of minority, ate his part of cake? Just think about it and re-look into your decisions

The word is...

...SURREAL

Because that's how everything feels since last night...

Realities often take time to sink in, especially HUGE realities...

I AM finally going to Sweden next sem, but i somehow cant get myself to believe that...staying for four months alone, it's SHIT scary.

And then, poltu@IITD is just over, and it's a really dirty time, like politics at most places. Finally it's done, and unlike last time, I'm not so shattered at the end, because my hostel and my friends got a number of deserving posts, and all's well that ends well. Or is it? Maybe all the preceding filth is not worth it, and sadly enough this well happen again next year. But for the moment, it feels happy. SURREAL, and happy.

I'm dying to write atleats two long posts, but I guess I would let life reach slightly steadier state.

Right now, I feel dazed, and trust me, I'm not drunk.

Yet.

To Whom So Ever It May Concern

"On today's auspicious occassion of the first birthday of this blog , a journey that began here and has somehow come so far despite glitches, it is hereby announced to all hot and sundry that the owner of this blog has been granted a chance to study here for a semester, thanx to this . "

Waiting for things to sink in.

Indecisively, pensively yours.

Phoenix

If only time bowed to my wishes...

...and stopped when my whole world was in my arms.
...and held me when worlds were falling apart in storms.
...and returned to the yesterdays when today got worse
...and never let me do what today brings me a curse.
...and flew fast into a tomorrow that's hopefully freer
...and kept pace with me, neither faster nor slower.
...and prevented me from creating a tomorow of regret
...and never allowed to re-emerge histories that are dead

If only time were my slave...

...I'd have forever been innocent and naive.

If only...

Shhhhhh....

Silence, they say, is golden.

Moments of wordlessness often say a lot than the number of possible words they can accomodate. But silences need to be heard, or else they are passed off as voids that leave gaping holes in the puzzles of life. They also need to be understood, for the unspoken is generally more powerful and honest than anything that's a slave of words. But needs are inversely proportional to ease and availabilty. Some eerie silences beg to die in the arms of words themselves, for the honesty they carry in their womb is far too great to be easily and correctly comprehended, and far too important to be left to die without acknowledgement. How I wish all silences were understandable, together with an assurance that the understanding reached is correct.

Sometimes I need silences to be able to talk to myself. Faint whimpers of the "right" voice are barely audible when commotion fills the inside. Sometimes everybody also needs silences within themselves to be able to really talk. The catch is, can everybody listen?Perhaps not. Perhaps they should not. Not always.

Some silences are beautiful. Even some of those really eerie ones. Even some of those that are full of nervousness and fears, anxiety and uncertainty. Some of them are full of love, some of honesty, and some of trust. And then there are the ugly silences. That have none of these three. That have anger or hurt, jealousy or malice, me or you, but never us.

But the toughest are the broken silences, where the connection is never quite totally there, atleast not trustworthily so. Silences of doubt and fear, of loss and defeat, that nobody understands, and nobody tries to understand. Then I wish somebody would come and break the silence, or else it die out immediately by itself, even if in frustrated screams, because wording a silence always reduces it's power, and potency. When this potency is the potency to harm, in larger interests, it's better broken. Sadly enough not everybody realises that. Sometimes I want to hear, spelt out, everything I am presumed to understand, and everything that stays unspoken in silences. Sometimes I want you to tell me all, because 'nothing at all's are sometimes the best only in an ideal world, and I do not always have the strength to get lost in guessing silences. Sometimes, I get exhausted. Sometimes I want to listen to words and not silences, sometimes I hate myself for wanting that much.

Sharing things, by virtue of increase in surface area, reduces their ability to hurt deep. Sadly enough the more voluminous the hurt, the greater the activation energy, the lesser the ease of sharing it, the greater the need to do so, and the more difficult it is to find a listener. It is a vicious cycle. But I don't want to get caught in it. Will somebody listen, and understand?

Silence, they say, is golden. Atleast sometimes though, I'd rather not be so greedy.

Bitchy-Witchy

Exactly two years before from today, we had a WITCHES' PARTY, and I was the chief witch.

We had digged out all weird black torn scary skimpy clothes and tied them all around our body, for wearing them had seemed too human a thing to do. On hindsight, I think wearing them would have been safer. Witches' magic often goes wrong. But more on that later. The party was on a dark and dangerous terrace, more like a rooftop on which we had to climb, minus brooms and modern travel gadgetry. It is said sometimes that all men in this world are ba*****s, and all girls are bitches. Apt adage it was, atleast that day, because all the witches together chose to bitch about all the bastards they knew, and then it was high time for THE resolution. The ultimate magic spell. And it was propogated through cell phones and other supernatural media, peppered with honest remarks and additional two-word spells. And then we laughed. There is no laughter like the Devil's Laughter, and we laughed and danced around an evil fire till animal instinct took over and it was time to tear clothes and kick butts. At the end of it all, all lay exhausted and night finally changed to dawn. Witches retired, masti was packed, and frantic bastards were told that all the true doses from last night were mere Fools'Day jokes. Áfterall the bitching craving was over, and not many wanted to see people dead with honesty shocks, so we celebrated brute honesty disguised under foolishness. Or something like that.

Quite a night it was, alas, today is a sane day. And the world is so full of fools i do

nt feel like creating more. So mean bitches have forgiven the bastards for today, for they are incorrigible, and I am happy.

But still, the rags at the corner of my cupboard, the scary black paint that ran all over the face, and the magic brooms, they make me nostalgic. Yes, perhaps foolishly so.

How to Lose A Girl in Twenty Steps

Everybody knows men have a short concentration span. I imagine it would be a Herculean task for them to listen to any girl at a stretch for more than 60 seconds, and I've some sympathies for that. Thankfully most girls understand this too, so a little bit distraction is OK. But, but, but, why do guys do such stupid harkate sometimes? As in, maana it's impossible to understand women properly, but it seems it's equally impossible for guys to use some basic intelligence while dealing with women!

Remember this, and remember this properly: Women are weird.

The art of winning over women is rather tough, and requires plenty of intelligence and tact, and luck, if I may add, but I do not give "How to Win a Girl in Twenty Steps" lectures for free. [Contact me for timings and fee details on this advanced course :P] What I do feel like blabbering about in today's class, are simple ways to lose a girl in 5 minutes. So if you are looking for ways to avoid that particular dumbhead crazy about you, or an excuse to breakup with your girlfriend, read on. Read on too, if you wanna know what NOT to do if you wanna keep her, unless you're immensely lucky and she's immensely stupid.

ONE: Sometimes it'd be apparent that she's spent some time in dressing up. Maybe it's a special occassion too. If you want, you can notice a new dress, carefully made-up hair, a sparkling face, something different. But don't ever praise her, and better, talk of everything else that's beautiful first-up. Or best, mention that you know her dress is new, and DON"T praise it. You're sure to put her off for the rest of the day.

TWO: When she's looking at you from right across the table and talking, DON"T look at her. As in listening is anyway impossible, but don't even pretend that you're interested. Suddenly talk of something else that's totally unconnected and excites you.

THREE: Never smile when you say a Hi when you meet her. Don't even make direct eye contact. As far as possible, leave without a proper goodbye. She'd be dead sure you're seeing someone else!


FOUR: Don't remember any birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines' Days etc. Explain her often the futility of wasting memory on dates. Then remember and wish her best friend on her birthday, without being told.


FIVE: Don't pay attention if she looks ill, or says she is. A headache is a lie 80% of the times, so remember this truth and ignore her completely as an attention-seeking tactic. Never probe too much.

SIX: Always be the first one to leave, or to begin the departure process, at the end of a meeting. Make haste when you don't need to, and remember Step 2.

SEVEN: Chivalry died in 18th century. Feminism is capricious propaganda by 20th century women who could never find a men for themselves in their life. Being a man=deciding which movie to watch, when to sleep, what not to listen, having a right to forget, and giving her a handkerchief when she cries(avoidable...girls start to feel nice about guys who wipe their tears that sweetly; try "Now stop crying. It's enough". She'd even stop immediately.)

EIGHT: Never ever ever be punctual.


NINE: Prove that your family is better than her family. Call her bro a jerk, her sis as hotter than her, her friends as silly.

TEN: Whenever possible, compare her with your ex-girlfriend. Actually, any girl would do, but this one works best. Remember to give her improvement tips.


ELEVEN: Do not pick 50% of her calls. Do not reply to all SMSs and emails. Claim you're busy often, than at some other time tell her how many things have you been doing just to kill your time. Girls have good memories.

TWELVE: While eating, call her clumsy and ridicule her table-manners. Tell her "wait let me feed you, you don't even know how to eat properly."

THIRTEEN: Tell all your friends to call up during a time when you're alone with her. Keep doing something on your phone every ten minutes.


FOURTEEN: Never ever take any hints. Don't hold her hand when she's dying for you to. Ignorance is bliss.


FIFTEEN: Point out body odour, unkempt hair, un-neat eyebrows, a nailpaint that doesn't match, etc.

SIXTEEN: Never say "I love you" or You're good or I'm happy with you or yucky feel-god things like those any often, unless they're extracted from your mouth. Why give unnecessary kicks?


SEVENTEEN: Suddenly stop doing what you've always been doing together. Break the routine, change is good anyways. Stop giving her routine reactions and statements (and chocolates and things like that).

EIGHTEEN: Meet more often in groups, or with friends. Or run into your friends often. Make sure she's left out of conversation frequently, especially with private jokes. What have girls got to do with mens' things anyway?


NINETEEN: Take special interest in her friend's distressed love-life. If she even appears to cringe, tell her she's being jealous and over-possessive. Question her if she's talking to another guy or been somewhere without your knowledge, and justify yourself saying you trust her, and it's only a matter of complete honesty. I know you're not a hypocrite, but what's the harm in pretending?

TWENTY: Break, or spoil, or better still, lose whatever gifts she's given you. Make sure she gets to know this...


~Love Guru


DISCLAIMER:

NONE of the above is a result of personal experience, and thankfully so [:P]
I'm rather lucky, but a lot of people around me are not. Or maybe they are just stupid, so far!!

BECAUSE.

Does everything have a cause-effect relationship? And if yes, is it necessary, is it even possible, to assign and define the cause of everything that happens?

I have read some 50 blog posts in the last few hours, a good percentage of which were some very old posts on my own blogs. I notice that inquisitiveness is one of the basic, and infact good qualities of human beings. I also realise I question a lot, and a lot of my blog posts, including this one, begin/end with a question. Most of the times I do not have a definite answer to the question. At least to begin with. But reflection is a wonderful activity. At least most of the times. As I keep saying, moments of clarity are good for the soul, and most bright ideas come in the middle of complete chaos. Or maybe that's what they call the 'voice from within' that suddenly tells you what you always knew, but never knew you did. Which then, means, that 'why' is not that bad a question afterall, even though it has a risk of being reduced to rhetoric.(A good example of rhetoric would be "why am I the way I am?". A wasted 'why'. )

But the problem for me is when the question changes to "Tell me why, and do that quickly!".

The rider of time, or the vice of haste, couple with the question to reduce it's worth to often pitiable amounts, because the most brilliant questions do not have immediate answers. Similarly the most brilliant answers did not come with a constraint on time.

I think "What?"is a good question. "How much?" is helpful too at times. They help in identifying and acknowledging something that deserves attention. But "why?"needs more then just a little attention. And I wouldn't tell you why I say this, because I'm still figuring that bit out properly.

But still, having said this, Í'm not sure if there can and should be a'' why'' that is answerable all the time.

Reason, they say, is something all fears would fail in the light of. Perhaps. But I'm not convinced, yet.

"Why do I work?", for instance is something I'd like to ask myself, because it'd give me direction and perspective. "Why do I live?"is philosophy, and it's one of those things that'good to ask without obsessively waiting for the complete answer. "Why do I love?", however, is something I can never answer and I shall never ask. Because logic doesn't work, not for me, atleast, where passion can.

I'm faced with several whys in my life at the moment, and I simultaneously believe that whys are good questions and bad questions; they should be answered and they should not be answered, or even asked. I don't know what's right now. I'm struggling with many too many becauses.

You can blame me that I hardly ever take a stand, but I am genuinely confused at the moment(it's exam time afterall; I'm bound to be haunted with existentialism!).

Somebody tell me why does there have to be a 'because' to everything?