Believe it or not...

Rationality makes stupid decisions more often than irrationality does.

25.12

It's not the weight so much, it's the fat. Look at your pics from a couple of years ago. Rankles, but true.

Here, you're the only 16-24 friend I can recall. All rest are old hats. Ouch. Bad timing, or welcome to the club.

Meet her, she was my best friend in college. Past tense? Oh well.

25.11

Miss Five, I love you.
Miss Eight, you did great.
Miss Ten, it would be alright.
Miss Twelve, you did no wrong.
Miss Thirteen, you're not alone.
Miss Sixteen, don't fight yourself so hard.
Miss Seventeen, find yourself and let her be.
Miss Eighteen, let go of the guilt.
Miss Nineteen, just take the plunge.
Miss TwentyOne, ask what you need, don't need what you want.
Miss TwentyThree, watch what you're losing.

Miss Thirty, don't give up dreaming.
Miss Forty, don't tire out yet.

Miss of all ages, remember what we say: Smile. Come what may.

25.10

I don't have a true purpose in life. That's the biggest void.
But my fear is, if the void were to be fulfilled, do I have the requisite courage.
My question is, for me to muster the courage, do I have enough self-belief.
I wonder, if self-belief comes from strength of faith, how do I measure.
I guess, if faith is built with challenges of crises, I don't know if I have let myself be challenged enough.
I conclude, my purpose will challenge me.

I am ready. Waiting.

25.9

There's only one reality. Many appearances.

Hunting for the reality is not worth it. All truths are ugly in absolutes.

Holding onto reality is above everything else in life. Everything else in life is just a maze of half-truths.

We all tell stories. We all own stories. We all *are* stories. Not reality.

25.8

Love yourself.

Life's too short to wait for someone else to.
Life's too long to go without love.

25.7

Jeene ko hain pal chhin bahut abhi
Marne ko kai baar ji fir karega
Jo beet gaya woh kal bhi apna hi hai
Aane wale ko bhi dil apna hi kahega

25.6

Umr ke padavon par
Zindagi rukti to nahi magar
Mud ke dekhne ko peechhe
Kuch pal to chura sakti hai
Bigde hue ehsaason ko
Badal nahi sakti magar
Samet kar hatheli mein
Halka sa muskura sakti hai
Pal pal badti zindagi mein
Zinda-dilli mil jaye agar
Umr na ghate kabhi to kya
Zindagi ko to bada sakti hai

25.5

There's nothing in this world like friends. Especially old friends.
All the scientists around the globe trying to find ways to time-travel should explore the "being-with-friends" approach. There's certainly an invisible field that forms when old friends come together, seamlessly transporting them to treasured times.

And in that moment it struck me, nothing had really changed. We, all of us, were still us. Despite everything.

25.4

For you are my joy...

Bday Resolution: start losing weight. Can't stay so moti. Think it's time. :)

25.3

One reason to live:
The love in thy eyes.

More than good enough.

25.2

No reason to die.
No reason not to.

Life is suddenly illogical.

25.1

I'm not too young
To understand the pleasure
In staring in the eyes
Of my own fears.

I'm not too old
To get high blood pressure
From drinking the salt
Of my own tears.

Not yet.

Birthdays

There was a time, not that long ago, when I actually remembered at least 250, if not more, birthdays every year. This was also a time when I actually remembered most phone numbers I dialed, but that's another story. As you can guess, I had an above average memory and was proud of it to some extent. Truth was, it was also of some value, as this was before the age of infinite phone memories and social media. People actually felt nice when I remembered them on their birthdays, some of them people I had otherwise lose touch with and only talk once or twice a year. Of course I can go back to even simpler times when we actually got little gifts for our friends and classmates (as opposed to just ask for treats) and kind of made an effort to make it "feel" special, more than just an excuse to party. I am smiling as I remember how those days we'd complain that there are too many birthdays clubbed together in August or December, thereby depleting the small pocket money. But coming back to today, this age of social media, I feel as if those little personal touches have lost all significance. Maybe it is just me, but somehow Facebook and co discourages me from wishing people. Barring the 10 or 15 I care to remember, I feel discouraged to call. It's just like adding a little bit more ink on their wall. It wouldn't matter - to them or to me. It's not the same as remembering someone and dropping an email or a call. Yes, it is useful as most of the times we just forget these things, and we'd like to remember. Occasionally, I slipped up because I lost track of the date. But I could make up for that. Now...

This year I missed my best friend's birthday because I'd put it on a mobile reminder which somehow got screwed and moved to the week after, and on the said day I was too occupied with travel and getting myself a new job. I over-relied on technology, failed, and felt shitty. Far shittier than I'd have felt if I'd just forgotten. And that age, he would have called me to abuse me and remind me, which of course now he didn't. 

Maybe it is just me, but I don't feel like wishing acquaintances and old friends any more through this media. For close friends, I will remember. For others I care about, I'd drop an sms or call because I care, but I know it won't be valued as much. For the rest, I sorta assume it doesn't make a difference.

Or does it, I wonder.

As Rohan said, perhaps our new social, online world is pushing people away, as much as it claims to bringing old ties alive.

Stuff

जम ही गया है खून मानो हमारा रगों में
जाने कब से तेरी बाहों में हम पिघले नहीं
मिले तो हैं सनम हम, जाने फिर भी क्यों मिले नहीं

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Fiction

I had finally got used to the new route to work, devoid of memories, finally destroyed every single picture, gift, memorabilia, finally started falling asleep without crying an hour. The corner, the rain, the icecream, the cellphone, the movie poster...these still kept hovering before my eyes, reminding me of you but I had survived. But I still havent forgotten spotting you in a crowd of hundreds. You still don't drop a gaze. The awful question: How can you look wonderful when I look like shit. The awful silence: God, your eyes are killing me. The awful feeling: Why did you do do that to me! The awful truth: Eleven months, I'm still not over you.

***************************************
5 Random News

Watched Shit Happens by some friends and colleagues. Good job.
One last lecture to go. It's a pity the prof sucks.
I am addicted to Facebook Scrabble, kinda.
Rahul Dravid has another boy :) :) :)
Sachin Tendulkar is God.

***************************************

Story of my life: (courtesy Sinfest (awesome))

PS The inspiration behind this is a tragic story I don't wanna share.

***************************************

Happy birthday doc. You're the bestest friend someone could have. Thanks you for being the only person who's always been there for me, always supported me, always listened, always understood. Thank you for giving me so many memorable moments of fun and bliss, and innumerable opportunities of pulling your leg (keeps me in practice ;)). Thank you for always coming back to me (from US(with chocolates)) like you never left. Thank you for being yourself.

Yey!

Good news first, check this out: http://tarukapoor.com :D
My friend L, who has given me this amazing b'day gift, says someday this will save me a million dollars. :P Wow! Thankoooo!
Yep, today's my budday. Which means I'm 22 already. 22! Sounds so damn OLD, sucks!
I wanna be kiddo forever :D :D :D

Thanks Dork for the sweeeetest bday present ever, and thanks everyone else for giving me a b'day to remember, the last in IIT :)

Cheers to the new year, and anyone knows how to stop getting buddha, tell me! :D :D

Aj mera budday hai

Aj main bada bacha ho gaya hoon.
Chalo chalo, jo jo mera budday bhool gaye hain, sare wish karo.
Aur jis jis ko yaad hai, usko thank you hai.
Meri mummy kehti hai thank you bolna chahiye.
Main apni mummy ka chhota bacha hoon
Aur main sabka kiddo hoon.
Doc ko big Thanks. Poora DORK hai but kinna cute hai.
Moti ko bada sa hug. thank you.
Catalyst, njo aur Ted ko bhi thanks.
Mere sare friends ko bhi de hi deti hoon.
Aur aapko bahut bahut pyar.

Phew. Bada hona kitna mehnat ka kaam hai.
Shit! So so old.

PS Dear God, ab tak ye din achha hai. Kuch bhi bura kiya na, to kabhi baat nahi karoongi [:(